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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
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8 a7 J. W. J. n( dIn the garden of my heart
% w/ L  X& }- M) ^: k3 t  D' XYou planted a tree: B! I4 z& {. ?2 y9 U3 `
From sunset til dawn! R/ d) I% k+ Z, A  T
Through darkness to light
  l( b5 W0 |5 t6 {: K/ XNourished with my soul
2 Y! P7 v2 s/ \/ Y/ p+ {, k, }4 wDevoured my sorrow by thee8 B' U) F8 [% c+ T8 v' G2 l- [

. V9 W2 X+ E$ Q. j8 D* ]' x8 eIn the memory of my life8 L8 J1 I) f% h0 `
You planted a dream
4 `  L: s$ D' u( C+ y1 e2 i+ j7 cShould the sky fall down on me2 o4 R6 n7 ^% J4 Z, E- ]* K: n
May promises fade in the sea+ @* A# r1 t% d$ u& J8 C3 y
Sewing back every broken pieces: h% d) y/ t8 }6 P) ^7 \) N
Bursting the love out of me
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[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
! Z- [' q" ]) u7 {) s% [听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
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In the garden of my heart" t: q# U, T2 }5 W5 Z+ o* j
You planted a tree- K4 D1 A1 q' h* {6 @% i6 s
From sunset til dawn
6 U5 W9 F5 q5 X1 I6 IThrough darkness to light" @5 I3 b3 X# J* e; M
Nourished with my soul' z9 ]6 W$ v0 u( X4 L9 c
Devoured my so ...

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1 Z1 p* k, P% j/ }1 _1 b+ B眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
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7 Z- h/ s& n) n1 h0 @* v2 b写得真好。
8 n# m$ F9 v9 s6 Z- C0 W9 i  ?+ O. z0 B9 X' n& d% l  n
加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表4 K- G8 [6 u9 y' I# W
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?; B: z, ]0 Y$ l  X
写得真好。
# O* i( u9 L3 n/ {加精加精!

1 D7 `6 u' ^2 z/ n2 k$ s1 `我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表* |# D/ |, E3 K- X* |
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

, s% l- H, j) m4 I" R8 `五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.. b; K& Z6 _  D$ b- w2 f) s" |
( @# L7 d1 r0 b1 V& u, S9 L: j* S% ~
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表$ r' {1 O3 m6 c9 P* G7 C
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
( g$ u( |5 u) W  ]' p8 n$ M3 `! }) h: B0 y9 [. A! N& p
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.+ l" z' v  k) v3 i& F8 z
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1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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6 t' T2 T6 l$ K% x' ?7 }- Z2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。- d3 ^/ B, `( J

7 y6 t. ~5 Q% Z0 G# J8 H) j' \Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
: [) |9 O( z% s( d  R7 lthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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2 |; d, |! K& g8 Q/ \0 FShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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+ f2 c: W& T* r诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表' [% Y5 g0 x1 R$ T0 T
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。( Y  I) [6 Y! ?$ h4 e; N0 ?
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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1 c- c; H; p- \( X有啊,有很多经典的例子。; I2 H2 ]( n( z# |
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》# m8 z1 \7 m+ Q

1 h% ~1 H( c" W0 G3 `! r! ~( _Don't weep at my grave) j+ p( r+ {  c
For I am not there,
5 S" E8 d) e" W) B' @I've a date with a butterfly
& Z+ S1 T7 f0 g/ y0 tTo dance on the air.
9 k9 k  b4 T! ]  jIf I'm missed, find a flower,) \6 z0 P! k# P3 P+ a2 \
I'll be there too,
: S3 q: T2 F( A2 t5 v( MSniffing it's fragrance
1 j1 R) v" `( W; \5 M& A( o' [Right next to you.. Z; J! T; ?* G5 s( n! G# u& K

1 H  K' n& z2 y/ g- A6 p3 NDon't be sad. \  x5 k# Q+ x. y$ x( c
When you remember me,
2 N( B( a3 ^) I4 U  X3 qFor I'm singing in the sunshine,9 ]4 v- w! t2 {5 [
Wild and free,
* g. G4 K5 g) @/ BFlirting with the lighting,
$ c0 |' B" K' t0 A3 H) |1 EPlaying tag with the wind,* r# v# g1 L$ X$ h- q: \
Chasing the thunder
) F. F. o4 K( J$ D7 K& ]Time and again,9 v6 O5 t5 `" n, f3 ~8 g0 k' V: S
Soaring with the eagle,
. {  O6 V% P  b' f7 H+ OSwimming in the sea,
9 F7 N7 @. F+ JEnjoying all of nature
9 o. |% R/ c' ~# Z3 ~- CWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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