In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
4 P. r' O/ p& O2 o6 [; t
8 a7 J. W. J. n( dIn the garden of my heart
% w/ L  X& }- M) ^: k3 t  D' XYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
  l( b5 W0 |5 t6 {: K/ XNourished with my soul
2 Y! P7 v2 s/ \/ Y/ p+ {, k, }4 wDevoured my sorrow by thee

. V9 W2 X+ E$ Q. j8 D* ]' x8 eIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
4 `  L: s$ D' u( C+ y1 e2 i+ j7 cShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
' l- M# m: u' O) c# e
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
! Z- [' q" ]) u7 {) s% [听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
& k' A. P- V* Y* _
In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
6 U5 W9 F5 q5 X1 I6 IThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

% }8 J: P2 E; G+ j' g& H
1 Z1 p* k, P% j/ }1 _1 b+ B眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
& j% Y+ ?+ C2 q7 v! e
7 Z- h/ s& n) n1 h0 @* v2 b写得真好。
8 n# m$ F9 v9 s6 Z- C0 W
加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
# O* i( u9 L3 n/ {加精加精！

1 D7 `6 u' ^2 z/ n2 k$ s1 `我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

, s% l- H, j) m4 I" R8 `五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
( g$ u( |5 u) W  ]' p8 n
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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6 t' T2 T6 l$ K% x' ?7 }- Z2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

7 y6 t. ~5 Q% Z0 G# J8 H) j' \Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
: [) |9 O( z% s( d  R7 lthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
* U9 ^7 J( r  ]  F
2 |; d, |! K& g8 Q/ \0 FShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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+ f2 c: W& T* r诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

1 c- c; H; p- \( X有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

1 h% ~1 H( c" W0 G3 `! r! ~( _Don't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
5 S" E8 d) e" W) B' @I've a date with a butterfly
& Z+ S1 T7 f0 g/ y0 tTo dance on the air.
9 k9 k  b4 T! ]  jIf I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
: S3 q: T2 F( A2 t5 v( MSniffing it's fragrance
1 j1 R) v" `( W; \5 M& A( o' [Right next to you.

1 H  K' n& z2 y/ g- A6 p3 NDon't be sad
When you remember me,
2 N( B( a3 ^) I4 U  X3 qFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
* g. G4 K5 g) @/ BFlirting with the lighting,
$ c0 |' B" K' t0 A3 H) |1 EPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
) F. F. o4 K( J$ D7 K& ]Time and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
. {  O6 V% P  b' f7 H+ OSwimming in the sea,
9 F7 N7 @. F+ JEnjoying all of nature
9 o. |% R/ c' ~# Z3 ~- CWhile I'm waiting for thee.