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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!, k4 V# b3 p+ y
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In the garden of my heart8 H, t0 E! ?1 F
You planted a tree' g: U$ j: p5 |4 f2 x  X- @: B+ X* w
From sunset til dawn3 A1 i& N2 v3 S. o! t  G
Through darkness to light
6 Q1 K& s* G$ DNourished with my soul
' M5 A* [, z5 R; {% Y: _$ N" t/ vDevoured my sorrow by thee3 C# S( B. K% \7 h& n
) Z$ K' w, V$ Z' C; N
In the memory of my life
' i  Q0 `4 n& y5 @. [: A$ r- BYou planted a dream
1 h. @" m8 G1 N2 c! ^Should the sky fall down on me
  P* {% a! ~# Q( c3 f6 P9 H+ PMay promises fade in the sea( n  _+ {4 T+ L
Sewing back every broken pieces
) A" H9 j5 k2 z3 e3 F/ BBursting the love out of me5 c4 D! {9 G" {* N4 e; u
4 h" |6 K8 N4 K$ a: R( U
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表: N9 F, P( c/ Z* m
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
" J, @" ^% _2 f* V
9 C: t! p  H1 qIn the garden of my heart$ L8 U; I- W& a- W  j
You planted a tree# c$ z3 b6 Q; ^5 G- b
From sunset til dawn2 A2 |1 o$ K9 Y5 U1 n
Through darkness to light# B: D, U; o6 k  x- _% R
Nourished with my soul* Z/ m8 _) @1 z) `9 k: T
Devoured my so ...

1 [1 m/ L* u" v6 P3 f1 C3 X( L& b9 V! U8 e7 D$ T; y8 _: Z' L) c% [
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?# u6 M0 u( w* Y2 d* `
4 W' R) X4 O0 c, S6 g
写得真好。( P" [' {" l4 C* P) i/ f4 o! q

2 p/ i4 g" M6 O' [- o, v. a- E加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
3 D9 g0 k' l& [$ i6 s眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
  I0 u  \9 r; P5 o* q6 c写得真好。8 p$ S) e5 F4 b8 z3 h$ u9 b0 I5 P5 I) Q
加精加精!
1 l4 A6 K: s! C: L0 N5 j* Z
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表' X7 I+ |" q* U+ [. H" b7 ^6 o
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

7 N% P0 a# g+ n, Y- z; u/ N五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.  L3 J9 a) f- m' a9 x( `* @  G) A* q
1 L! U, H3 C: B5 u" P; q, c
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表! V/ u& b! b. _6 z  a; n
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
- y) l& n. {2 l/ U: a8 P4 U+ p2 A+ p/ [8 K% Q& c
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

6 G" w/ c; O: M$ U
/ d# K8 r# |, C! f; W! PThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.% d3 H; V4 k1 {  t

. _# ^0 b& G! j9 d1 }7 F# [  ~$ B1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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0 F7 J. g- X8 f7 p& w+ w1 P7 w+ t2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
# S! S2 c% k/ f' L* lthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
- B' w! S' @7 u% E/ x" d: m( |+ N  m: T6 d. |4 x4 ~* T
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
, `" A/ ^2 r" l8 n' ^

2 ~7 m8 h% u% w) L" E8 X% _2 f6 i诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
% \5 G3 _  r5 x, @thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。1 f* e& g! q5 p, W) Q, Z8 S1 F1 Y

* x" o+ \" t/ w4 f/ ?2 M; y4 B0 ]Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

" Z' x0 C" v" H4 h2 ]* L* ]7 w/ D7 Q
有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
7 q' y, X/ }4 h, k* f! G' q9 G) r2 z5 X. _0 b1 Q7 e5 ^* e* C/ |8 I
Don't weep at my grave
# l/ z/ K- D4 HFor I am not there,: s5 u$ G4 V( Q0 r, l5 b5 \  ~; p- t
I've a date with a butterfly& E+ U  U* ~! ^& ?/ [
To dance on the air.
; j1 v$ @$ f( D- BIf I'm missed, find a flower,- Z" z) P1 u1 F5 P
I'll be there too,
6 ?: H9 e, Z, x7 Q( ~( y" ySniffing it's fragrance+ k( Y0 P* H2 F4 O& V
Right next to you.( f8 g* ^: h5 E8 r7 Y0 y* f

' v! \) R' D' ]Don't be sad' X. b5 z- s/ O- |' @: o# Y
When you remember me,
+ g  `( y$ @2 MFor I'm singing in the sunshine,6 X- n. B3 f" ?9 h9 @* I" ]
Wild and free,
, c& G% H' Y; ?3 k" Z& m% e8 kFlirting with the lighting,7 L& \1 \, A. q* e  o$ U
Playing tag with the wind,2 G- o/ T" p: x4 i9 ^9 |
Chasing the thunder
* v& \& h0 p+ b7 {3 H- cTime and again,
" I- ~: V  N8 w9 g0 O3 g$ s, eSoaring with the eagle,
& J# G& g6 P4 m* T- jSwimming in the sea,
, i' `: s& ^" ]; D; zEnjoying all of nature6 v9 \4 Q$ f% T7 m! Q! B. b+ C5 x
While I'm waiting for thee.
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