 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!$ W! N, K/ v1 y( a/ r( s
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写; L6 p$ `: O5 l
6 d3 u/ d# T. g0 Y9 s6 n( b2 w1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.. l2 `" u" [2 e0 m: y1 x7 J
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
% B/ B+ x8 [8 A7 U( `down.+ s! k$ z0 _3 n% L- ~. h
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
1 M y: M3 l }5 m1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？# Z0 O/ e4 s1 b
1 q/ K/ N8 K- r1 R) F1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.% Y9 U- q! R ?$ g g! R
Let it be.: l% s: x: D* e- ~
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
* g% z. }/ c5 C! E: ?. H6 pthat way.& W% S) U0 l$ ^% c9 t
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！! p* O' _5 n' Y9 [& v' f& m6 S0 p- _+ A
, S* \; [ b* F6 I2 C$ J1. Crying is blackmail.3 ^* q8 ?6 c. B5 f4 c7 x
1，哭泣是敲诈2 f! L6 g k2 i$ }( ^) K P! N
, \/ C7 _, O0 T5 q$ o T1. Ask for what you want.
; P& x/ V9 H+ K4 A3 Z2 S2 pLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( _& o; {- Z5 K& M( W2 K" |; e
Strong hints do not work!
- Q6 h; s( y- v( d0 F/ P4 lObvious hints do not work!* s' ]7 d1 A6 \& g+ `* B
Just say it!
1 \! i, g1 z; @1，你想要什么就说
; t3 M# O( ~1 U- |; }8 z" R5 H+ h% C我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！; [7 d/ ?) i6 W: T
7 b, z/ t6 ]/ O" d5 |1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 4 H6 m, k1 D+ [- K' ?
question.! H* l. J2 g5 m( ^ l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）( _: }' X! F. j4 a- N" O; ^
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
# W6 }6 E2 f9 e$ H8 P4 Wwhat we do.
/ W- a p' d, L6 w& J: zSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.% h! i) i r+ n4 B, _
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。; A; P9 v; m& _! K( U
" p, v% G' O9 P/ T2 n, R1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.% {) A @3 t$ J1 ]( x: c; p9 x
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去: K5 U7 E; u9 V( `6 c
4 ~: R/ X/ U! h5 x& s; \1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.1 H) @9 p5 Z c8 d* [! N# j
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 p. ]+ D! C7 p# {. k+ ~$ |我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了, q) v2 }0 y7 |
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
T- J) o0 L# M; A" Wto act like soap opera guys.
% E9 m5 N: N% ^: K$ A5 y1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们8 X' ~# M, ~2 X& G! F8 a
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.( v, o* \( S* o# k" C
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们) ~1 P. B% r/ @
2 e- Z5 h i. _( Q' \1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways9 v7 j' \+ Q' L I5 {. J
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.3 O6 Z- X$ Z3 F* E
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）0 Y& s O6 S2 y( J0 x0 X) s
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
' ~/ s/ [# c& ]) v& m! [5 N! mdone. Not both." G3 i" ?# J8 k& p8 D
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during, A5 n- Q3 H1 v+ N7 V4 g* q
commercials.7 n) \4 K, l1 \ r: n* O
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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+ Q7 F0 {& H5 ~' M4 m/ X F6 d1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
) G: i& Q! o/ LPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
2 P* q: H# P# N) ?: ^We have no idea what mauve is.
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" b {3 {1 r( q5 m: L! C1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
% w- g, M% p6 b5 jnothing's wrong.# e2 ]: Z+ ~) @ M$ I
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1 A. V" [5 g ?2 I1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer4 Y' Y7 J9 S" H2 m
you don't want to hear.
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/ c( \) i% ]" m9 _' ?2 o$ V1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is# X( G; H; O e) i( n5 B
fine...Really.$ z7 y" n7 t! }
' E) B( L1 x0 L& t1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
& [" a# K+ K% \$ q! Ediscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.2 B( G$ i2 Z K* i) f
3 A6 H, y# \4 r. M) R1. You have enough clothes.5 {2 l! H. u& H/ e
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1. You have too many shoes.
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) u' Z3 E' b. {/ B6 J8 Z7 l+ a' ]5 V1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!, C$ }2 T% U4 s! J6 b' t
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1. Thank you for reading this.5 Y5 e* j6 |% j/ E) f- N
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 [9 e3 _) V% iBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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: \, T! o& z: ^* V6 f3 R5 dPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
; P7 _1 b1 t |' O ` _) RPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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