 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
' S/ g% j& s5 Z# F请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写, U7 e1 {1 r9 W! ? J: ?
8 d2 J. z% U3 S2 k8 w, J9 }1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
0 r5 K2 H( l$ s% m* I" H: p% Q1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫6 W4 z! h& C, x; J6 U5 y
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it2 ^5 J8 M2 N! e% V% e2 a
down.2 ~" k8 B/ L3 U2 K0 x, p
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about # C9 w6 Z# Y4 \( k; R9 G
you
1 V& D" Z' c( @1 G3 e* cleaving it down.7 H: N# s' f9 u( x3 u
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？* f: f7 |/ Z; j( W
0 Z6 `( N: P5 ?2 v' m! G% Y. Y1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.& e: M# b- j7 t. U& a- W
Let it be.7 E# ^! P' A: M% O
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去 W5 z, h) k' }. P
. E; I6 S, f. R J1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
% j3 s1 A6 A& @: `8 j+ O2 Ithat way.9 Y* B) M" }- Z$ p. Y9 W4 g7 i
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！! e/ s% {- g# d# X) }6 x& J9 r8 g9 D
$ C/ z: |) A. ?( ^# \8 H2 y+ W1. Crying is blackmail.
5 u; q1 n# Z* X1，哭泣是敲诈4 L/ R2 e9 W3 P' ^& |8 p
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1. Ask for what you want.
$ `* W: K. ?2 h! W c% ZLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
5 T' z X9 a. O* J4 eStrong hints do not work!
) S8 |" u4 H! RObvious hints do not work!
6 Q! q) A7 v' TJust say it!
0 J. |, x* v+ @" }5 q0 _9 d! d1，你想要什么就说+ a+ ?- Z/ r& M7 x$ H& H ^
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！. C1 f* C3 E) z5 J) }
) c A' \ M( L t$ e8 J* P4 E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
& i5 [9 R( o3 `3 H1 I" Nquestion.
7 j3 y0 d2 P: U5 n& }1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）9 R1 t! c7 C( x
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's7 E1 j& @7 `2 d0 C2 |7 x7 h
what we do.+ G! O7 |( m; g$ P- N
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
# z# E% I, T( t0 X+ w1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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7 Y+ K: }' F& \) h& N1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
2 A# v6 q! \# D8 }) ^. ~) R1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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- M% g9 @# Y) \4 H4 a1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.% i4 r8 M7 H3 V5 V+ V9 i2 z
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.7 h0 {* l! ? n* M4 O
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us: T3 @9 F' P4 K) |) _2 h$ V
to act like soap opera guys.
1 w4 J) ?0 \8 S+ E4 Q1 [1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
& `; m5 H+ z/ e( \# R8 W7 Q1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们9 u4 ` e9 m' K
( h8 a& l+ X! e0 S7 t1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways4 s4 I1 ]# Q# o7 y- b
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1 _+ W( |2 ^( t9 k. M7 ^8 j
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
6 F m8 H) y* w, { ~# F U. o$ J1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
9 b9 E+ V3 a* qdone. Not both.0 M4 D$ b1 J* E* u' q1 \. W1 q" t
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1 L! d3 D- ~1 m- W! R1 T' `1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during8 ?$ t+ H5 n' j& q; d. b" w/ A
commercials.: U7 H. f& n" Y! X$ O" L3 R1 Q( {, ^! @
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.4 K" |+ q" i( ^+ h, d
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.$ @! f# p( \) o# T: X1 y+ j: V* ]6 P
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.& m3 z. i; P9 N8 Y A/ V4 O: N/ U& E
We have no idea what mauve is.: r8 T" { u0 ^" J8 i
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like$ z3 E p. [ R3 z0 b7 u6 ^
nothing's wrong.
$ D7 |" ?' D d* }& H! OWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer8 ~. U4 ^8 G/ p8 y% \5 o5 Z
you don't want to hear.
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: x: v& h$ u! H% ]9 v9 {( l1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is8 C4 M# Y, R: J' h, X# v/ ?
fine...Really.# \: e# X" ]% j' e
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to; E! a7 H. {. U+ x Z, s- w1 b
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.! S! `" L, Z+ p1 _8 X5 p
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1. You have enough clothes.9 y- P) @ ?' \8 O& g! ~
% \1 G- L* j# O" W- d1. You have too many shoes.
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; ]; C# p& V1 H* y& `. g A( U1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!, n K/ ~; E4 j! Z! R
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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. d' q: c/ c1 n: f$ e# |Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;) W3 u) F$ t' E2 a2 f/ P
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.' ?) P3 O, }0 _( y
4 b) {# {2 j" s. l9 fPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.7 i0 x/ x3 J+ H* g- Y
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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