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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:" j! H+ w! Y, t6 h
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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$ f4 @" _' o- P5 S4 [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush1 U& A1 m4 q8 E( X
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday- s' {: E C% q. J
morning.
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) _% W7 o* }- c* y. O) u$ m7 k3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
& w5 f+ e. p1 g# tyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
. e, `, V& R' a" f" |+ Blanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.3 p* f+ L7 X; u2 i! V, P7 ]) k
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- A/ k7 C) k7 z/ v6 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' g8 K k3 E2 `0 x4 j- a6 m$ U) @
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- l6 o( A- P8 H d0 B. dgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell$ }; @# g B' r
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: b6 w! @3 y6 w. F
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( r7 ~6 V, m6 J) C5 T; {
cussed out, and possibly shot.: D9 Q7 L. w8 w; T# g* O
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
4 C/ \. {8 |- O, c% ?" Bget you shot.: U. [1 Z4 V' h% a# m
5 K- p: B, w6 o! K/ g7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that8 q6 u1 m+ |2 E& ?0 l5 o3 w( A( E( Y
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at( D8 Y0 B' a- P/ q
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot# K9 A+ w1 G; p6 i. I. L
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
( t2 ^% f# k3 _% m6 F$ @3 ivehicle through the intersection.
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# B: J/ H. k8 ]; W8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
" t9 Y# o3 _9 s7 u3 lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 J7 g* s. T$ c; y: e+ a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 w7 z( S* I; \7 r- i7 ^2 ]more construction starts everyday.
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) G3 B7 X& Y( m+ a2 y+ |1 y9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
' L; W: i) s9 r! qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ D, s* R: O" W0 `: t0 e/ vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) g: ]- P7 Q$ s' _0 Q
9 e% J# h) U8 k0 t" ?3 u10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
6 R" f/ \, z1 M! W3 O/ a9 R+ r3 vroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye" J/ }0 ]( X& r% g" w
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and$ S: q: C3 g. I" |. ~2 G- d
66 Street are also the same road; got it?9 s( R$ E5 i7 W, o! ~) U' ?
- N8 L! a6 B- G( ~& g2 f7 Q11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 |- G# q' k. _: {shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,, b6 ]9 B2 V: i8 \4 u/ J2 u
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
9 F' T. t2 n0 o3 l: m& a/ h' _1 Iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. z1 D6 p# x5 E0 C) O
8 u# Y: P* \2 ?7 w# R7 z13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! C1 e$ ^5 y9 R# glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 I0 u5 Y4 I6 G! \2 Q8 I
blankets in the vehicle. |
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