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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON: M% h: ~7 W" k5 y/ r& K, m( i J
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
5 L; Y9 ~/ x) A$ ]2 v1 f) ehour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday% v( |+ W# u- o4 h' S4 t; u8 s
morning.( I+ Q$ ^0 `) D
6 A3 d0 V: i9 D7 U; {( A0 U! U; K3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
& K0 W! z4 j% U8 _( }+ ^( H5 a0 `you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a) w9 r- E& R W
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.$ | p& v8 l! k2 G2 L: ]8 Q
1 c: s1 E! ?) T5 _) y8 M% W4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. L2 e7 W k! F) o8 F
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- z! N$ o( x$ G" jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) c/ c$ [0 u- T, n3 Fgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell5 g# s* B$ B D2 p; g# A5 r
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 O: ^: u. L' r, B) N5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 Q9 l/ p J3 m6 xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can4 w% m2 x) _! \. N, {
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
8 v* ~4 r8 a/ H! P5 {# ]has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at- s0 I0 H* p. Y' X
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
: L/ |- t+ X+ J3 Eyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
9 P \7 c/ `! C S- T5 ]2 lvehicle through the intersection.8 U" j8 R9 u1 o: E
0 f6 w4 G; `* C+ U3 Q8 W5 h8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
2 N% [$ S; z4 @6 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next B: M* F* I* u+ Q/ k( t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; |# u* Z M2 Fmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,, l8 T" i/ `) q& K2 o6 C. V b ?
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: S' \9 C% I; `/ U- F x# U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ p3 X* w( ]) A! ^
; L. ?* u* z* K. S* R0 s3 L6 l7 D+ U10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
0 V! y( B& W$ Jroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
4 v5 a$ r* }+ ?! m# r* g- t' B6 I& y+ SRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: P i7 l: a& g( z+ L9 d66 Street are also the same road; got it?9 }/ q6 D" X& O% _
( ]: c" _" L7 L( {/ T8 m1 R* w11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 g) w! r+ p: J" e" T$ m5 R% Gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally& {7 e7 y! o' t A. [4 g
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,- R, r5 D6 }5 w" g& O
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
- P0 n) [; y# y3 a ^2 b8 X/ Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ @, ]4 ?7 P2 I6 E
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ L; P$ N/ \( Z/ Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 t5 @& E* Y9 I
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
