ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

6 d2 e+ p* L) U$ q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
, {& K  V: n& X. v6 c& t/ T) Lyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
9 ^/ u+ k1 m+ r, [# dlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) P, i# o7 A  ]5 [own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
1 o" t% e2 J, k5 Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
: b. i% s* K8 p. ~
1 F, W# w$ k2 `5 B5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ p) s7 h8 g4 c3 h& w: l2 Vcussed out, and possibly shot.
% w4 [# V% K6 ]
+ v, \4 `& d  ?2 T6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
5 q& r& a. |* }) W2 L) qget you shot.
) d+ L  r1 V; n* R7 h$ P3 n, c
7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
1 l3 a, K1 O+ i0 F3 Gthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
0 W$ y7 M3 f& U7 {you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
: }3 i7 _# f3 _: Zvehicle through the intersection.
  L( P3 U& h2 `" B! P' y
8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
- U8 j6 n3 B1 S! y' |, Abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- Q" \* B' ^0 n# ]9 vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) }4 W( L% J5 e* [, C4 `more construction starts everyday.
. Y! n& S% z0 M- ~6 q" Y
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
: Q  b" a! r/ z8 G3 b7 z+ Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 ~+ x; `! S+ N) Q0 ^squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

' Z7 N$ F% M* f0 p7 M' r/ ~10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
6 C: K, _4 u" D. |! M, \" Q. TRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
: l) T  J& [6 b3 X7 g& @7 bActivated.'
4 i( p- J3 a7 Q: q4 H# P) Q
" H& N  Y) g1 N$ R; o0 Q12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
. x3 d3 k  e- }; P9 x7 V3 m' xyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
9 I; x5 @$ H7 e) i; R8 I* N
13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& x) U, z$ y8 P, }0 k6 lblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

6 I- L7 D$ m( C' p* s4 E后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

8 V. ?$ j6 g! o4 K4 S3 Jit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。