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Tiger s Holiday Poem+ b7 r' Z. G7 x7 f0 k
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house% @* X6 k- k9 v, b4 v. x# ?
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.; t/ o% g$ `: a/ r. @; m6 `
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
# E1 _( b4 y8 m& X% ^Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry./ B6 N' O$ Q& r
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.5 F( A5 D3 V0 A [. N
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
) s: d; J; K. h* J W6 [- QHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori," H1 g! ]4 Y5 U7 l5 p0 f8 U5 G
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.$ v9 a1 X) q" t2 i( L
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
: z* M4 H- E$ b1 D5 d+ ^Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.9 x M+ U1 N4 M% q' x% l
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
' S) @2 d5 k, i" a' v/ [( e5 d+ wWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.4 B# M9 x2 ^5 w$ x
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',1 n" k) h# z) x0 W0 x' I0 J/ T
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
! ]" [4 b4 a0 L9 r( xAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,, H9 l# y) I: T4 _& D# q$ m
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."" H% L2 h# p7 r+ p. P
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,9 m5 p3 E: d2 ]
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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