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Tiger s Holiday Poem5 R+ ?( x: p# Q. F2 G+ Y0 w$ L
! D% ^/ e7 A# D$ [Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
2 W; h4 L, I1 N' r. o* |8 UTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.% s8 P$ E! ^2 c1 D
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
" A6 O- X, e+ K+ A0 BCause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.5 C$ A+ j' E, l* V4 l
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
- y" }: I W2 o8 jWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.
$ f: z: W- U; J' r& fHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,, d5 i# c( P6 p7 X$ p
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.0 B; J1 l- c( I% H! G/ h$ m
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
8 Y8 _7 E9 y; a9 w, U7 VTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.9 W2 W7 @( L+ D3 K- M
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,0 A$ }* O2 r5 i5 f
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
- ]0 ]+ L% P& V% |6 |# k, DDespite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',$ j& O- ?& e) }, f
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .5 I0 l5 u& ]- {; j$ V
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
, b3 A1 B4 U' \* V9 d"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid.") H) A2 O; x1 Q3 S, t, ~& V
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
" U0 \6 u! M9 `3 {4 MHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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