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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . 5 |2 j0 }+ ]6 J
+ m! K1 I+ K8 @# u3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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; ~" a$ W# v% Y9 l# }( y. _: P4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. a5 y# Q/ Z- T. b
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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: R1 C1 Y' L; d7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. * L% A- Q: H X9 }: s1 W) ~7 R
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. $ y& a; b! }$ `+ j( U8 }
& R; U1 p( ~( J9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. # Q, Z! N" d: Y1 J
, n$ \1 o4 \0 t* d10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 5 j5 I# F, z+ c: l$ i! e
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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/ M0 @0 f* ?: L2 i: _( Y12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 0 y' P: |- S# K5 C( B8 G& v. m
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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) F1 p2 D) S4 d) P14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. " w3 i# `4 ]- Q
4 [' Q# ] R+ |; y% J16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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