 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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+ l* u* A' m. u$ z. ?I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. }7 R' D8 t) S/ [$ B$ t1 Z( d0 ?
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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' v1 r# ~5 w9 E" B; @. lI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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* t0 O. q4 G2 b2 {3 ?6 v+ m"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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8 x$ a5 C/ N$ T* LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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# @1 i/ A t' g& g"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I& [* E, J6 o2 hI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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0 F4 |: A; h$ C" @- a. Z. FI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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6 w: L+ Z" ]& zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 t: X& D# m) L! E
/ E; o+ f" Z$ _: a! W* }& w- yThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# P8 A* H" R# o& }2 x3 M
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Thank you very much!, U" L! H$ }- H5 A+ _: W. c# I: g
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. `- L* k+ G6 S8 L& M1 J# G+ Q+ kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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; \ N' n' H1 T1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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( W X4 ]* i* [7 M, `8 ?- \2 P4 ?2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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( A5 @9 N% F" O6 f, v1 m% t' y0 v1 \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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0 m9 v! ~, @0 q2 W4 Z# XJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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/ ^, ]! I+ Q, uRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ U4 z* t: ^, T8 e% t n! G
: _* T9 Z8 H) y* h+ m. o+ Q' vThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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