 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.( q; K; @( ]: o* v
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 B/ v, d0 y( y3 S& fI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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; \/ M3 m) M( R, T1 |, YI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* [. G* R7 |( e- K7 U
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And the second one was:
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% W: `& I) G* q" o) A1 x"What's the 2nd Amendment?"0 Y v8 _1 `: _8 F. c: \$ s% i r
) G# F* ]7 ^& G' q3 UI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: f/ X) H: G) K! x, ], A6 _0 h"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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8 ~) L* o, J- w, C" L0 rI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' C. U' D, P+ X6 J; f6 T) e3 q
9 p2 ]( h% y) k8 }I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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( O8 _! i' X# u1 c3 pSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"6 y3 V0 x/ O. I1 {& m* O: _
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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4 ]2 U) h9 O0 u. d9 gThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!8 c: L' o4 v% U6 v( ?* D
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: H6 O5 Y" }- y8 o) wImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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+ n: R7 j' `7 w$ ]1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ y. I5 ?+ ?3 v/ t0 C' @
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.3 b! t+ b; q# |6 g
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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/ I3 r$ a, D2 ~8 [: z, P, {Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 i4 K" v3 `4 k* O8 d9 O: U
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ w( _4 J: V' DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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