 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.; ]; L% ~/ m* h3 _ U
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 {9 r* R0 {) P- x% v$ |" {
" n& P2 N$ M2 |. OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* }0 @7 t% r( S+ i. |' H* w: I
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! Y, Q) ]1 d3 i8 r3 u# I
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: [9 Q4 \" b( `; H! t' c/ n"What is Roe vs. Wade?"7 x, ]9 E# p; x/ J; L, b' b; Y
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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' F/ C& N; i3 L. QI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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$ D3 R6 x( m: ?* D! |8 ?Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”; U$ Z) @, u; M3 l; d# q6 o
5 w+ x* z8 ]* V; AThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 M0 c6 v! x' a. _, z; }
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.! ~; K8 ]. O! L$ W: y2 G) x
- ?$ K6 L+ N: D* n/ E" j2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.1 C3 ]7 Y9 J1 V+ ^
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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( `0 m: p5 q' T. iRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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7 I# c. h! \9 \The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
