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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 _: Y+ q+ ^# R6 E! RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 S/ d5 ~& F! k7 O( m

" Q5 ?) A) U* n3 W* |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 g3 f4 G  _' J7 j
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 o, @  b9 S1 a8 a/ {6 BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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5 a; b" r0 j/ G4 d  bI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, l' ]. p, s1 R. W+ N) X* d1 ?1 w"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 |; V: k0 W+ Y# \; q8 H

( H: D# s- y% `8 q) d$ _I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ G6 U) y! Q. o$ J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 P& |. b7 F% J  E6 D+ O0 K
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ N* J& p5 P3 S( r+ W! G0 RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”: ]- f$ M) O; y  j- {
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' P/ Q) v0 p; B- q" L; \# f0 k

: m: b6 h8 h; WThank you very much!
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==========================
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, g% |, ?: P! T
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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! ~" t# x+ D( MJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ ]: n. E9 f5 _

) N0 e2 C! K7 TRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' r/ k% }* t6 H& Z0 \% z

8 H" K; O$ X8 ?$ q9 o/ tThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: / `( W9 |4 O/ m9 V8 s% x
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
( n: W; q$ m, g) d' T5 x怎么理解?
/ G: X2 f) |- s! g1 }+ P6 w50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。2 V5 r7 l$ C& K2 f* @1 w+ {
怎么理解?
* J  A8 n6 s5 z" x8 u50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?0 p0 j& ^. q% M2 W' `& E
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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  s6 y% A! Q" w' l& S我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
大型搬家
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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