 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 s# x0 K1 U2 _
8 `5 n* ?5 v! j$ }; nI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
! {8 Y, ], Z" p3 J# h4 m1 p4 H8 u% T% K4 K+ P
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years./ F# r2 _$ H( g! \
$ G7 `* ], z4 B# ~6 Q% Z
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
# ?' {% ^0 A$ E( `! h2 ^+ ^; w9 k
% s- E: o8 o: T* [/ c8 o+ e"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"* ]) x+ h( ^* m0 R
5 M$ g0 ]) Y* Y8 Q6 O8 P
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% s9 I( p* _. y9 ~
0 i. n2 Y0 {4 w% i- G
And the second one was:' x# \" X& J/ c0 r* N0 x$ t$ _( J
, o) C# |4 S7 M$ X2 l9 ^ P( v"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( q( `( J) c) @$ D3 C
) X8 A: q( H6 ~2 M) E- i6 V
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! b3 t' [7 ~% z& _8 @3 M
% X+ H' D6 k; r% T; r* k5 y; q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"$ W. Z9 e8 B; i* B6 w
5 e& }' u5 w3 }: H0 [( n uI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
, q4 w F u4 r9 m. X: @
j; E' s4 f. E/ F/ Z) U* V* pI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!: e! G9 i' B/ q% D' t) a6 U
' d8 ~1 I$ `; S) ~# J( M( i; n' YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."( [9 `& _% e& c# Y% L' m: @
' [# T& m1 o; k* ]2 o% o
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?": i/ R# |% L( |7 s
. [: j; k. I" O* B
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
0 o3 S( E4 D0 Y8 b2 H' s
Q1 r4 b7 x& d7 v8 tThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. O* f0 i5 b: ~1 g
, I" f% Q+ B1 Q0 t9 Z7 u( I0 CThank you very much!: l4 D8 ~1 `- L8 U
1 _; d$ x" f$ J8 O A==========================2 Q. k& e0 t, Z, ?0 b
; B2 p3 P8 _0 d1 W' L" p- P
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
7 o1 n3 o* j0 I8 O' w; k, d: d5 l' I* d# s
* `8 e$ Q; J( ?- v6 X3 w; `1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
: R/ o: K: W! @/ D" c: {. n P& x! `& n
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
* k! V: s8 @& J7 b8 Q H5 J6 J) T8 B: ^' @
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
* @6 ], b. t# ^8 z' o9 }, A9 R' L2 Z) B5 O- h2 ?2 e
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
8 D" m9 n) G8 K, Y* U# \6 F! {% [, ]1 x8 `" b: b1 U p
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& V/ h0 r/ E; H. ~1 p' C2 q; B
2 c8 V3 G3 N/ a+ q! a+ N+ G8 o8 ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
