 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 _: Y+ q+ ^# R6 E! RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 S/ d5 ~& F! k7 O( m
" Q5 ?) A) U* n3 W* |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 g3 f4 G _' J7 j
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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3 o, @ b9 S1 a8 a/ {6 BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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5 a; b" r0 j/ G4 d bI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, l' ]. p, s1 R. W+ N) X* d1 ?1 w"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 |; V: k0 W+ Y# \; q8 H
( H: D# s- y% `8 q) d$ _I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ G6 U) y! Q. o$ J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 P& |. b7 F% J E6 D+ O0 K
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ N* J& p5 P3 S( r+ W! G0 RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”: ]- f$ M) O; y j- {
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' P/ Q) v0 p; B- q" L; \# f0 k
: m: b6 h8 h; WThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, g% |, ?: P! T
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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! ~" t# x+ D( MJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ ]: n. E9 f5 _
) N0 e2 C! K7 TRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.' r/ k% }* t6 H& Z0 \% z
8 H" K; O$ X8 ?$ q9 o/ tThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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