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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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+ l* u* A' m. u$ z. ?I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. }7 R' D8 t) S/ [$ B$ t1 Z( d0 ?
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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' v1 r# ~5 w9 E" B; @. lI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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* t0 O. q4 G2 b2 {3 ?6 v+ m"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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8 x$ a5 C/ N$ T* LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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# @1 i/ A  t' g& g"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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  I& [* E, J6 o2 hI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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0 F4 |: A; h$ C" @- a. Z. FI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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6 w: L+ Z" ]& zSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”1 t: X& D# m) L! E

/ E; o+ f" Z$ _: a! W* }& w- yThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# P8 A* H" R# o& }2 x3 M
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Thank you very much!, U" L! H$ }- H5 A+ _: W. c# I: g

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. `- L* k+ G6 S8 L& M1 J# G+ Q+ kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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; \  N' n' H1 T1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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( W  X4 ]* i* [7 M, `8 ?- \2 P4 ?2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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( A5 @9 N% F" O6 f, v1 m% t' y0 v1 \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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0 m9 v! ~, @0 q2 W4 Z# XJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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/ ^, ]! I+ Q, uRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ U4 z* t: ^, T8 e% t  n! G

: _* T9 Z8 H) y* h+ m. o+ Q' vThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
& u3 A5 s  E. J; c: C' Ya young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
2 `) Q. z* A0 M$ H2 ^( j怎么理解?: s" a6 E' ^- }! G7 [
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 2 @: R& _9 X% I3 Y! l
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7 Y+ T5 ^, @* r& D不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
- F! K% U  r  _; U8 a4 @  c怎么理解?: W) ~0 f1 N+ |- r0 W
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?" D1 ^3 C6 |$ k2 ?$ z
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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5 l3 n  t( g% i9 `7 \我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳 ( \. a1 k* p& O6 t+ I. v7 O
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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