 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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3 _* }. f: q x1 D' BI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.% K+ h. P; v v4 H f
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.* I" y8 m+ a1 P, Y
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 C5 s. t7 ?* M) X$ z
. A) U) P% n$ c" JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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, [+ S: s0 O# ^( b M7 |, z# {And the second one was:
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9 U$ Z# s( X* ~- C( i* t( I/ L6 O"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# L$ V5 F( L6 {) U3 |
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 ?$ y( s1 @, n
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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2 }3 T$ l7 {. h* S# {8 m: X2 gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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6 O* _( ?" }; U' z- F8 I0 w; b$ i+ XI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!5 U) M8 w2 g+ Z. v2 O
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ z) h! m' |+ R) A. U
2 U# t+ Z0 [) O- T( O9 vNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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& b& y* v9 t3 eThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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, D& n/ A1 m2 i: dThank you very much!. N% ~! B6 Z, @6 F) M# u
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& Q! `5 E: H7 ?- J7 N, I& K VImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 w, h- \" G1 }+ x ^
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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4 S1 K' R! _5 Y {"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion. P" i+ a3 E+ b% u/ K% o, \( R
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- Q1 x! T% j# e- e" S1 Y; D6 W" H
. C( Y; J: h" {" G: oRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.$ v5 A* x. Q& m, r2 z8 q
+ g: ^; A6 l& w# J ]) VThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
