 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you., x$ o7 E- O: E& [
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.) f2 s( e7 F9 U- h* Q
0 t: F# K" V6 s' M9 |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 @: w- j x/ m4 Z% F
4 v3 m. H+ q$ [' _, a/ i"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 F0 Y9 H8 X" U, n. A" b7 s6 w
% h: ]! s c, H0 R4 yAnd the second one was:
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' l; b( b: P e9 [( R ^"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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0 ?& O/ [' g2 F5 e4 ^" e- HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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6 n7 c7 f$ c; c- G, n0 b"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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& P6 f* U9 ]; l4 tI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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) b) g$ e `. `. d: A% t0 N" ~2 |I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! C/ ?4 E( t1 @7 \
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 T5 o: ^/ }* E+ y* \. @2 ~
7 w9 ^+ O6 X! `! J3 K5 ]5 ^So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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0 u" G) i6 [/ BNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& [7 M. H# w# M& i+ L
% l7 `: Y0 |0 ]% S/ h b! X/ RThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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/ N5 x1 e, c: ` h# xThank you very much!
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5 W: T" [' K/ K F" o1 j6 a==========================
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6 w3 Z- H. e3 @. v* {0 ?8 C5 \Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:$ B- ^# c, ~9 W8 G% E/ Z: |
7 @7 v0 H% ?3 r( \1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' r* K2 x# G$ @$ r
- U: ?0 s% w& j1 W- }% ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 x$ [- j/ f* {! }" T
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., \- \# z0 X; u$ b- t+ D" t9 C) K
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
