Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# u: l0 k7 e4 o% I7 D) W5 x& Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
! I! i, v9 s/ ?) oand organizational skills and be willing to work
- _- J& F/ b8 b- J3 a4 pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% }' t  L% T6 U5 R- Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% z5 E8 a# u( K9 fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 U4 M$ f( G* f! O: uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! h( M# r; R6 j* r; B( T9 \6 JTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ r" J8 q" V0 T0 E' k- o& _7 \Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 {& y) U, [  \# kThe rest of your life.
3 i/ A. ^! \$ i2 s0 x% H  v( OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% }* O0 w( ]+ f7 {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( [9 p3 O4 O6 U, hin case, this time, the screams from
- H; V5 b+ S# a: d- D4 ~the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& j- ?; p7 Q0 p3 w1 o: L- y1 `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 z* Q6 E  }& W& y  dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 K9 K7 u( U$ c  NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 }! q! x8 R* ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 p) i* `' r* M  T# O8 @Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' F3 c4 A; |1 E0 @2 J1 M# O+ qMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
1 F* d+ a& u0 O2 W! E' Z+ w" vResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. n  l! J" v! x) L3 i" ~( Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

4 C) N9 x7 [" }: ^5 o' l$ f9 f* X. r4 Y8 GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 }6 N  V! y9 f# B! y( j% o: q' F! b% \None.
+ \3 Q/ H+ d9 w2 {- f* eYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 d8 a! J6 |% X* |without complaining,constantly retraining and
. u8 V9 }% S4 U% B5 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 I9 ]" a( B4 `! E2 r/ BGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" o% t1 p! R! s4 _# m$ V0 Eof the assumption that college will help them
" |( H. _, J7 z# c9 z/ Zbecome financially independent.
0 ~# G7 S  ]: }9 E) k1 mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 Z" b9 `$ _- T# c3 S3 ~The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. p" r1 ?! `) R4 w$ f: m  U" B- U; zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% u. E4 g) z; s% d* ano stock options are offered,
; u0 Z+ K; }9 V4 h. Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ L5 c% I9 l# M) M' m( d2 D  f" zletting them know they are appreciated
5 f8 i! [% w8 z% J- o8 K/ T7 w" Qfor the fabulous job they do...
/ e2 y1 M2 T! J7 U# Lor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.