Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# v9 a, I* R/ B$ o3 _& w; s4 J$ XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' c  F0 E8 k- O. [! nDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ y% @9 j, `9 z/ X1 A+ zJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 E* o# X8 @8 dand organizational skills and be willing to work
# c+ R* i5 G% jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ F$ C! h" Y; pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 |  g* j8 F/ a. B& cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; a6 z  ?" z8 R9 A) TTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& j. e5 \, |0 F, jExtensive courier duties also required.

. t; {4 w9 f2 ~4 s$ y  }RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" B* Q& V5 f3 w# _* I& cuntil someone needs $5.
& o: @, z# ^) p1 \* K, n+ B# EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* ~0 l. [/ ^% y8 E0 d" J& K5 W$ Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, Z+ x' r0 p, D8 ]/ {in case, this time, the screams from
% U/ E* C( _3 U( u. Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( a( ^1 Q, w- a, Y- [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 G6 k" r# ~1 Q* @% o. i$ u7 ~/ zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* @+ A3 M& ?% `8 S! n$ xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! ^4 K+ o6 O2 E: k  dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 Q3 u: j% ]" ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
( b) @" c, A' b* C, @' Y$ ^4 i+ wthe quality of the end product.
( h$ Y5 p( t; aResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' W6 Q) i' r) W! A: x  Cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( B9 l, x( z& ^3 _) z. |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! k4 ]$ C7 ^8 n- b3 u+ Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ H! U) n5 j( q1 [: {; f. mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' g. U& n$ |$ g: \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* d7 ^% u' J: }! v* `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 l2 v' T, R3 {+ K& sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. j& }& c! r& A1 Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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# D6 w( Z( J( MBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
  v1 l& k$ d- a3 Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

- v- C9 L5 Z" ^$ g* D& j2 N# tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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/ R7 ?$ X. d7 ~8 Q8 H# |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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0 m6 g! x) ?( ?& z. m9 O5 ]% EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* g1 @/ ^6 n+ }4 T1 A3 tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* A( l. z# T# ?" E. Lor forward with love
9 z* ^+ a4 Z+ ~# t4 x. ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.