Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% b$ }- }. N' e% u5 jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! _5 T4 `) ?9 [8 `8 U+ qLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 f( P1 E% U+ w0 ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) _9 a$ z+ d$ @( F  l4 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; b7 C+ I( e  G7 H3 ^8 i0 z3 J( aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% L2 ^* ~/ j! xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% P3 ~6 u7 o( w) gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: C; S, s6 X! c; z  auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 I* w( ~7 x& cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# p3 q" h, G( O* {& pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, Z' I2 [" U) i6 b) p9 qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 U% W) V( `2 }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 o% L6 }, ~' N0 y$ }/ cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 _) D/ T! d- L' J# [! B4 _: Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  v( |2 R* c8 S9 n5 M3 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, m  w# v# H7 Z9 `. h4 Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' s/ g$ D% r. b' C7 yYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 E6 J5 h/ {0 u& Iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 R1 D, U$ k3 P- Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


! l" D5 c- ^" v$ y0 S* M) E9 LPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 H* [' y% K0 t, t* R/ m5 H) ~None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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. J* C0 z" U0 M7 O' B$ h" pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  `+ v' O* ^( V. J. r0 i2 `& e, iGet this! You pay them!
( }" g. q  Z( R. T2 E" y. T. B- j% dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ g1 c' o5 }" L3 p$ n) r: q+ n& Ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# ^0 u( {, \5 ]5 r3 q% [0 Q$ C) a, fbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" A1 l& G1 X, b5 f7 aThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 c- R8 |1 Q' B) k+ `8 W5 @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! Z$ U' P% g+ p' y  [! fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( k! ~: Y5 k: X* R/ Eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.