Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* B+ D7 `* M2 u' W; _  F' Q" T7 d1 \Candidates must possess excellent communication
% M0 ^1 O9 y# p/ X$ V1 Q: [& gand organizational skills and be willing to work
) b9 _5 p7 t' Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 [: v5 Q+ U  T4 U' o+ {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# j" J' C+ s* \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* J' A: m1 F0 h3 [9 P, X# \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 K! ?6 k/ b! t3 E( ]& E" yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. f9 t* ^- Q1 A3 Z) NExtensive courier duties also required.
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) n9 l2 o7 F  Z+ w) w7 h. q. H/ QRESPONSIBILITIES:
1 N9 P" i/ L$ w: l. BThe rest of your life.
/ O3 s9 D7 l8 O3 p8 P0 YMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& y2 P0 o: b: M. A# |  zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. ^5 n: o, L9 J& Y6 K" Q7 Jin case, this time, the screams from
$ a# f6 O3 ?/ s2 u; D" ~. Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 S! @& f" \" s" E* |8 rMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) ~& k3 y. ^  Ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# l3 G! k' p1 R9 \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  H. p3 ^! ~; C/ `- Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 [. n% g. q, ?4 o* j1 b2 Y& YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 T4 A- Q6 @- x. C2 QMust assume final, complete accountability for
- K3 E7 o$ Z% q0 n6 c; B! Tthe quality of the end product.
' S8 Q2 N, \. {0 w, l! I% U2 @' iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; t# {$ I1 n9 zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- o9 L5 ]' t( A5 w( _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# `/ y' }: S1 ?, E& ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 A- J- g1 q  b( @None required, unfortunately.
! d/ W; i$ x1 ~$ X6 N) s& LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ U- D  `5 T1 O8 BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 _1 l+ U8 ?: S- J' k$ T  mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# l! R3 Q% ~9 P6 t. A, F) Tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 I& _3 q4 T* l# s; S7 ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  U% z% M, o3 w1 V+ ?; qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
  Y. l6 h# ~4 w* s1 Z9 a7 PWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 S- n( R2 ^0 e: Bno stock options are offered,
1 R3 s+ e& M5 L' x& N. y3 D) R: @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 N- X* ~/ [+ y* U1 s3 Ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

$ X; E0 \( X" yfor life if you play your cards right.

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) |2 B7 }; c: l8 V& g% E8 q7 O5 @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 ], H# C" _3 V) V) \/ Jletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ T% y) _  _" I& v" Zor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.