Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 H9 m$ g% Y6 N; A9 P( W; o/ [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' [! c2 q6 K$ t" x3 B& H0 M9 T+ @( NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! K1 A4 Q( q4 H# C3 O: n9 S, yJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

( n, T3 u9 `4 Z9 S7 ^5 n0 Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* e% ]4 |6 K7 n0 x4 \Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 F) k: a: y4 S$ L4 Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 E) {# U3 Q5 O; Y! x, H5 I$ dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ Y7 A  T' M( R% p4 @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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, h% ?1 \' x& JRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 O$ T! j  |; \0 h- x- A( yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 l7 k8 v# Q9 puntil someone needs $5.
: J" U4 @; H% A  N0 K4 pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ C9 D- F+ \; N1 }% o6 SAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 N8 R- ?8 {5 L' Q5 A% e$ `: vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
$ [/ a5 X) @7 hMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 ]& s% u6 U7 f, \# V# bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
9 x: L5 N3 |% B/ z* `1 GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; P8 S  Q  }! ]# j! F% Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* V% [; b0 i' Q& _1 d9 lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& t$ C6 d1 D" x0 f% yMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 B. E# a  C. e0 u; S, bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

* f7 }9 }4 w& E$ w" TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 o% B+ U6 n6 H8 F% G; \9 sNone.
1 Q( g8 q2 k8 z* `2 g$ t) l5 mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 h& E8 \: C) ~. a9 w" uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ o7 P- Z$ Y! W2 eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

: O& w8 x/ R8 E6 m$ Y8 H# FWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 G* j3 p) t1 R$ a) c# oGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 l) s! a9 ^. V. ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 E8 _6 x1 j9 [) M+ ^of the assumption that college will help them
! q" V2 F  B' lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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5 v+ L1 u* c9 L& OBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" @; ~0 s; v0 Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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% l$ ^1 T9 b/ D; O2 Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ ?- Z& ]+ }/ J  j; a6 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# n7 {+ P; Q: D! y+ B% ^. Tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.