Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% s; j2 d0 @* H; Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
/ D* R  J. Z* f( c7 l  h6 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ y- y+ O3 \: w5 g- k8 dSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; F2 y- b6 o( U5 EExtensive courier duties also required.
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# I' [, z# \1 N3 xRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ e( I, V- {/ @The rest of your life.
% a, \/ V; ^0 a5 j) l$ bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 p7 T& w( s" Uuntil someone needs $5.
% v/ c: F* L/ q: P2 bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# \5 D# U5 z# D1 Y: Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 N/ o+ t8 P  p7 e/ j3 tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" @) N3 Y; E- m* Y4 }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- w( m9 P# k! N' r7 wand stuck zippers.
+ o$ M! v' ?6 X1 kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' o$ T5 o4 T7 T& S9 v% nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 O5 j* r* I* Q  \( _: b1 aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  h. }' @% o9 FMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 L" [/ }# F3 I2 D# YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  i% o$ K4 Z: n  X# }0 `None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 u; ~$ @- X  F: q% e9 Z2 ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


, u* Q) V2 k: |5 B2 u0 m# G3 [8 fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. ?( K5 C& E, ^# H. v3 sNone required, unfortunately.
+ ^5 L: M# }% M8 i6 E: r8 Y0 rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ E, d; R% J  m1 JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 p: m1 D8 [% t, P# ~9 A  D# pGet this! You pay them!
/ M$ x) U* {- m: c1 F8 l$ z2 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# }- q3 C" d0 r  {) Y' ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 s1 g- H& w1 m0 K2 ~$ w) TBENEFITS:
; j0 Z# K' J6 {( ]3 hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 j: ~5 \+ Z# L4 V" g" Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- m' h, k7 M3 M* h/ Sno stock options are offered,
8 e% }: m5 p6 X( Q: [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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1 T7 D. I3 l6 x1 E& Y" @/ K
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 E$ @. W# f1 U- Yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  Y# @% ~  `" B4 j+ j9 S; U* i& kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.