Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! K/ f, `' C( `7 Y# X& pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. h7 c8 g" ?# g' [3 t$ a+ KJOB DESCRIPTION:
- \! K* j. f2 k" x9 ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ f) s! [- z' s- Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ `, j' a8 \- D/ T4 n7 pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ }/ j! U  |- g! R7 {( `2 `! QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& d! t6 U/ t7 {% a8 y! E3 u4 MExtensive courier duties also required.

& U$ Z6 n$ P5 ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. z/ I* l/ }6 S/ r7 }0 E. d  ^5 }Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 v% U. y! j7 ~until someone needs $5.
# J4 v: _6 Z+ N4 jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" i$ }) c( V/ iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, v5 M( x6 O9 z) ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ P+ }, R8 \5 B6 A5 v) B, w( tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 b0 b7 V) W% Q6 S# w4 VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 N- E$ H9 r/ f& Jan embarrassment the next.
/ d/ y- U6 e% _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 c, o! W% l7 t7 q0 ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' {  P, A5 x3 B1 k9 VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: ]5 {; J! Q$ a# d: n4 sthe quality of the end product.
' y' h$ \' |: e2 [# u! HResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
! `/ k% H; Q( m- {: j
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! H: v( M9 V1 N2 S, wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ }: _% n4 m. i. n6 Z! |can ultimately surpass you.
9 u+ Y! r0 h9 Y" R" D

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 c7 n' S/ A" P0 yNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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# U5 B/ c/ d' s( jWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# ~  X; a) |5 SGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 c6 Y$ W9 g# }6 ^3 g& Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 N6 k+ M/ y! y& Q7 E2 B9 s7 FWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
* x. a2 C' o& n! w7 ZThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( R' V' Y5 V2 @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 M( H; y9 H) Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# p8 Z! V; j5 k8 q. Y+ e3 [no stock options are offered,
& }: J* i  W) p4 ^0 @/ ?' Bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

4 b3 O% [8 \9 Y! _7 Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
; \0 [8 J. {% X) q( ~
: Z- Y0 S3 T1 j: g0 r( v" R


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 ^2 ]0 I' K% P
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' ~9 G7 n, ^3 `5 I2 m3 JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 U# j9 Q; e8 S- {1 _letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 J& d1 s, ]2 F; \, E  \" bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
+ z* G9 _$ ?7 b" q

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.