 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma % N% F+ X8 j, h! t
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa3 L/ R. e! H* d. I
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 u! b w5 ?9 RLong term, team players needed for challenging,5 k6 ]7 l7 Q# Y+ C
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' E! \' n& r; E1 KCandidates must possess excellent communication A) c( |$ U" t& i) T: H
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% h' E- x- w$ w! s e. qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends W, w8 u% w& o- [( i+ S6 w
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. + T x& F( r, @: l1 W
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 1 d. ]1 u, j5 C# w4 `) o
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) R$ A% y6 \& J8 H3 F% b' B
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* e/ ]. |6 I7 [Travel expenses not reimbursed. 4 v, k4 b( r% O9 }/ R
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:* z/ r) }- U4 A& K+ r+ ?0 L% X
The rest of your life. 8 q" U3 k; p3 D1 X& F1 }4 m
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 ?4 ^% G+ _' k7 _, {until someone needs $5. & j, \% F2 c5 E9 u% X4 ~/ W( d
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" W; V6 n" R8 A+ U, b- a$ g$ aAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 c7 l; X& C# Q" b. L$ T2 [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : a! M& Y1 U/ o) D' ~* j
in case, this time, the screams from
X1 ^# R) j( ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 3 s5 D' N: h; l$ L" q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 P% [: M# {: o* ]2 ~2 I+ ^- Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! ]% I8 d9 ~+ o8 r. k; f$ h5 W3 Kand stuck zippers. 7 ~% D6 ^; C4 a2 C1 D+ q
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ [6 |1 T& ^: O9 U5 ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 |: j& ]! L4 P0 q9 ?6 ?2 TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ; z6 t" Z4 G& P* e6 h- F
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, - Y8 V) v( v# o( Y
an embarrassment the next. 9 Q, C, t# ^! G: S* K/ Z
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& I F% b( L% K1 P; Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ X' k& _2 W; B& G% k, oMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. ^0 a8 u: @( q) _Must assume final, complete accountability for ) Q" T5 L( \: H% ^3 |0 F
the quality of the end product. r' a% m, w: I# O$ b& P) g
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and % l: L) P* E& [# `
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:# s4 J9 L4 I0 ~" c
None. 3 J& z) e. j* d
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, / R$ D* Y+ {" X4 m: Q0 f
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% B2 {/ x! Y: _2 f6 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 w7 u, B) ~/ ?3 rcan ultimately surpass you.1 C! G6 U+ B; ~& m7 ]# j% y+ F
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6 ~/ c, d" a1 U7 A- s$ PPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: o$ n+ O% B) n( {% \! _* N
None required, unfortunately. 7 r7 M0 \* m5 M _5 K
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 ?# y3 F' l8 u, P! oWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 7 l- }3 k* h; [. w W: E2 X
Get this! You pay them!
8 L0 ~( u6 K: O3 }Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " S9 {+ i" e+ [2 k+ I
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 8 B' m' X+ }: ~- h8 J& \4 c
of the assumption that college will help them 1 P/ k/ H0 s$ {* l
become financially independent.
: N( L+ s, C* q2 Z: EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 K7 d' f! _4 a- y, x8 F3 GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; l6 e8 E2 J$ U( O2 Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; d+ a1 ?0 V$ l. ]0 i3 p! cBENEFITS: 3 o, H8 q' }( ~9 e: K& p" r; }
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( p7 y2 c: N) R, n% b& P( Y& Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 P K# N7 c- o# s. C* x2 Zno stock options are offered,
6 W- H3 S- _2 W" g; Hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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! n/ R6 @7 l' i7 a2 t& d% j" _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses " G. r0 p7 L& x# N
; o! A& O( r# k( Q( o! cfor life if you play your cards right.
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Y& i+ q! X, \7 \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **8 n$ X! H0 |1 C& j1 s; M3 h
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! d% c) c7 ?- f, J0 G" N, Oletting them know they are appreciated
# V3 [; t. O& i, h! o9 B2 F7 Kfor the fabulous job they do...
4 f/ F( L* P: {or forward with love
# @! Z& `4 z7 O" z( X" j1 Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.1 n1 J- x! \! W
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
