 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' {3 [7 M+ ?0 r; K. IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 `/ L1 ~( t8 z2 H- s# A( kJOB DESCRIPTION:& ?* p8 M- ]' }% W
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# ]- n6 h+ ]& O! x. _3 d
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. + v& r5 S/ I6 M- R
Candidates must possess excellent communication & h+ ]& K/ I9 M0 s7 M3 J4 E
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 Y8 u: Z8 o4 |7 F! q' g( Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends V1 C& O- O7 b# p9 |8 W8 m9 ~
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. * d3 X* {- ~; }2 U5 f- }
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ) L& @; A [& o/ ]1 p1 G( B
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and , x1 W7 s( G8 r V/ t# @) W, z( U' A6 S
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 j1 w& C5 O0 D% n, J; ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; K5 \/ q' c+ r, [- QExtensive courier duties also required. % J: n* B) {" p3 B" A( a- D
2 r5 ~& u0 \' U7 cRESPONSIBILITIES:
; L7 \4 D( F' f4 u4 W- Z2 l2 CThe rest of your life.
, ?2 a2 H0 u2 A: z3 r) PMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, # s* G+ Q5 N+ b7 }+ K
until someone needs $5.
8 _: q* O" f5 VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- t1 }# a1 y/ O5 g2 _4 l( b( c7 xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule l9 p! F! O. ~* x" N/ m5 x
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# a, Y- I; u6 S* t" r& sin case, this time, the screams from
V. _; I0 r: L r5 r- R( g2 B5 K) {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! R3 W2 y$ X* E! J% _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ Q, e! q: o, H, Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets , [" l: S9 J0 s+ j6 j
and stuck zippers. 7 Y6 j6 b6 K# H f" L, [9 P% p
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ! u( E- G$ {6 E
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 8 f0 y0 R! P7 E$ ?
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % x$ C3 v' L( K$ g1 ?+ q w% A
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & J) z2 T* i5 r: k& r* [
an embarrassment the next. 8 y% V5 }5 j* X$ \" @4 G9 j
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* t, c# ^. r. l# S- \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 M, G* F: V7 x0 A7 {6 FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + |; l, k0 r- I% q6 M! M- Z& `
Must assume final, complete accountability for ) u1 B: m/ y6 \ s/ u( G
the quality of the end product. . X9 w: s4 r) B; \! ^0 l
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 L! Z9 o/ a% U: n5 \% ^& ]. }( yjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:6 J4 {4 i' \# g+ E+ N( ~, t
None. 5 ?( D& \: k4 E+ P
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, K( f2 @. `2 b5 ?" ~ h3 f9 U
without complaining,constantly retraining and : C# u$ x7 A {2 \$ N) K
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ) L1 i1 A8 n- _1 h
can ultimately surpass you.( L4 L4 g ^" s5 Z
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* p* v M1 z2 P2 kPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! T6 I& U$ k* Q, \
None required, unfortunately.
x- e3 i9 [7 w) X8 COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. a9 B8 p! F1 m& b/ }
3 W: g. s$ }' x* W' TWAGES AND COMPENSATION: " @5 q6 v6 K) V+ w( S( r( t: X! _
Get this! You pay them! ! l6 Q5 K0 O4 N+ u9 R
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " F; s) c# f, M+ M9 H* P
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ! p0 o' D+ B$ f" B
of the assumption that college will help them
! p: m$ y' B* x1 m5 p* O$ qbecome financially independent.
0 Z/ L ]3 O* _. s SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. * F+ P! F' n* d; z; q9 V: H
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that + F; {/ k! \' @+ @
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 9 u" U( @' M; ], x2 S* e
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BENEFITS:
7 [% q9 @+ {' M ~+ W# {While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, & N* a! A5 M6 q3 I& }
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 {) f. f- s6 v0 rno stock options are offered,
1 U. M9 l# N( Q+ |* Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 7 m0 f" W; Q# l% r: _8 y" d4 y
, k/ i9 G( s b( l& Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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. K p; R$ }# }; E5 Y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# R! f% o0 W" G7 Kletting them know they are appreciated 6 F; S2 D8 S3 c8 o+ `
for the fabulous job they do...
n& Q5 Z0 `5 o( P8 Yor forward with love 1 ~4 U/ b% Y5 m1 U( q7 \# A* ?
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
