Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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% c' J- y+ a/ v6 r5 w- N' NOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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/ @1 K/ P+ S( c* @4 f  |& jIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

7 ]1 q, s8 g0 ~Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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$ t1 i2 g; z$ `7 lThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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+ S0 \7 J' j/ R- o, T* lLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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+ x. m! L" k; S4 L; J6 ~+ iThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

/ \8 G: O; e- a! [: R" H3 VDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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& I$ K  K: a4 B$ p* l2 a6 a# a4 uIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

( s1 W7 h% L! R* u- ~* O" qIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

9 d" ]8 H3 b. X% GShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

) ]+ I' G  ~) d  i& O- V" ?How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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+ K3 ^% E+ Y6 S& y2 z& pYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane