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) T$ P; V1 O6 v9 \. q) L6 @" s! A1 e, SCrazy English!+ @( d" k9 n: k# g
3 ~4 w3 Z' |3 W0 H1 C7 pWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.3 [# c' \3 n! S; r: k
7 l P( x4 l: ~0 V9 K2 ^One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.7 J: ~, [& G# p
8 [0 o/ y: @, Z% fIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?0 c7 d, M* e( G6 m8 H
* @4 s! ^: j1 ~) lThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.3 c# f( Z( Y J0 O1 Z
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.6 \9 x2 q7 s* Y9 [. d0 r. Q. l2 @
6 s. i! s _: l( `6 T. ~1 TThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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6 @! _2 y/ ~& u s2 rLet's face it, English is a crazy language!3 w; |) f$ R% L/ \$ \
( q! B' }: G: f @1 wThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?) Y* D/ h- }0 q
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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0 B0 ^: H1 v1 f4 S7 I- ZIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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' Y7 B% a T8 ?. `If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?: k' Q5 D3 W( b
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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! m0 |: h; F; {2 C# wShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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W$ `+ e# J# V: ZHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?2 y1 j( G: o4 r9 M; p2 ^& K# _1 L
+ P. _! \1 E, J; I; q9 I9 K( gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your1 ]6 {' c/ t( }3 a. [2 Y( n9 @2 I5 \
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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6 T; c( C: A3 g: t4 o: G6 _Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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