Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT

& T* \8 K  k1 }# h+ s' O
( \: t; k3 P- uCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
' b' G( f* G; H. `* g
0 A/ ?  a3 W, n' F+ IOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
. o2 N: c0 r2 k5 Z
8 G- a6 A0 C; K0 YYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

/ U; w2 u1 V6 {- H( D2 eIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

( |0 I9 y0 X$ \/ g5 d! tIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

  l8 L! b. `* C/ J% MThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

; x4 X* z' V  \- lWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
. c7 c+ Q' A* C- Y% j$ A" v/ `
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
$ a* S' g, W& N7 w5 u6 _# |$ u# c
4 o, h1 i0 W" y3 u4 gLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
$ a6 B; a( K+ {6 ~. U& q% n/ y! g( s
0 f: o$ B7 k4 D# d: HThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

# P; S0 F3 \8 Y. o4 jAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
' b2 K- R. M7 C+ p$ i
5 g" |- i! N1 N% P$ A/ d5 SDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
( c" x! V8 q' ]* X2 h% }) f
If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

* e2 a6 O: r) e9 G5 Q  v( A& b" L/ zIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

% J. N- s* {. F5 E( AIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

! W* x  X9 I. ]" U1 ]# lIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

& o+ ^+ P* s* M# T! oShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

7 }7 ]3 E  A; [) I6 }/ q' qHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

" c. m. a, z/ L) mSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane