 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?# [0 _: S4 V/ ^" t" w
m3 e/ ~% E7 K9 V7 YLet's face it
& h; H. e# e* O+ hEnglish is a stupid language.
% n7 c! x2 d) OThere is no egg in the eggplant8 a# b; z7 ]- E+ L2 |( G
No ham in the hamburger: Y* u! r1 m! _7 @+ i, q/ v
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.+ M% ]8 B9 T# @, I; S k9 Y' D
English muffins were not invented in England
) ] A" p% ]3 O3 YFrench fries were not invented in France.
7 m6 C: A4 A5 x* m$ B' Z n, Q/ b, J! S8 ]0 k4 {* H
We sometimes take English for granted
3 ?) D* F6 i TBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that& r. ?5 Y+ J) l+ }- D7 d
Quicksand takes you down slowly2 L1 ~# H7 l7 e4 \1 ~7 n/ q4 C) e
Boxing rings are square
( g+ k& b: [" dAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
8 j1 S1 Z" Q! J5 [
: l+ l: m( g+ t1 l( k8 O, J$ j+ }If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
4 M( g" G/ m9 N* k! TIf the plural of tooth is teeth
# g* ]3 \# h% G/ xShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth1 l2 o5 F, f, E& ?7 B7 x- E1 } C% w' o9 e
If the teacher taught,5 h7 _, e9 C8 E6 d: d
Why didn't the preacher praught.1 k9 ?; T% }3 d. j2 C
+ u9 M! H% r5 @! K# WIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 k0 ]. r" Q7 ^: v( dWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?! d8 ]) d R; Y0 v
Why do people recite at a play2 T5 f8 \' G( d3 y2 i/ n, @
Yet play at a recital?
& Y0 i* X4 C( y; j T+ P6 n( mPark on driveways and
$ u4 }5 i2 o0 {( D: b& K' vDrive on parkways# q; |- w+ O6 j& a
% v: _9 k8 Y, ?( J( [You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
7 A7 m9 s+ q1 Z m- UOf a language where a house can burn up as' b) z- q/ \9 E9 K- I
It burns down
1 m9 _4 V9 j+ s0 E: }9 ZAnd in which you fill in a form
) k) C1 B$ M/ P; }1 BBy filling it out$ ~" {3 V( v/ f5 R
And a bell is only heard once it goes!8 `0 K, B% `* h/ c
4 a! u( f- j8 T0 e$ DEnglish was invented by people, not computers
7 _& x, Q% v1 x9 sAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race: L' e% u) P# \0 @4 e3 U
(Which of course isn't a race at all)2 z% {( |7 ^# X- p' \" {
2 e4 I) U: u* hThat is why
6 w1 W- ?5 Z' `" }When the stars are out they are visible
' Q$ S$ I) q0 i. Y$ a; w: Z. T( kBut when the lights are out they are invisible
8 q1 ]# A3 R# D/ b; vAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch; P. k0 l' L+ v7 c8 |
It starts
( U3 a6 Z% x# ~8 ^0 Y* _1 M3 F6 ABut when I wind up this observation,
# o5 X8 W! y" a g! ~! bIt ends. |
|