Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:

  s( }1 Z5 X- u0 N1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

: l0 {8 x& r, L; {5 s( `4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

: E' z) [% N; e1 m0 p* U# H0 |8. I pay your salary!
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9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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0 R! `# J- v0 W, [, Z4 \10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

+ U7 y( {+ W6 b4 d! l; s9 [5 \8 N: Z11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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* z' c2 k9 Y5 _7 p+ W" N% h( B1 Q+ x12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"