 鲜花( 47)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Dress Code: ) m, R. y, G D, |4 q, g
1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. - m+ U7 k& s& k5 |! d9 C w
2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
1 a; B; g+ _# Q3 T2 E, m3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. & G0 ?2 H. W. b0 F
4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. + ]) e5 ^0 m' _; M
" `9 e6 _/ p# c8 @9 `+ _0 KSick Days: 3 a2 N# b( \) b. V4 U& s
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
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4 \5 A4 t% s gPersonal Days:
, l* x9 {1 {9 Y5 ]Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays. $ `3 W2 _* v7 b1 @2 h- X
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Bereavement Leave: / w# q$ @8 a- c$ E
1. This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.
+ {4 I6 R i; g1 S! \ Q6 _$ s2. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements.
" J: i [7 l! [- b0 v! U3. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late af ternoon. / `. R5 B" x+ B7 i3 T& a
4. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. , X" L2 t1 f- O/ u/ O! R# H
' R+ h9 f* A, q! q% W4 aBathroom Breaks: 1 u9 ]* L! E+ d6 h& `& V( H
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. ( O5 A; {" a$ G- k$ t
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. % g; a+ l r" W
3. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
5 u6 q0 o0 o6 p. F: V, V4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
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Lunch Break:
5 `3 W7 _" `: }5 i1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
3 W( P" p8 W2 S% s6 Y, S$ Q5 m2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. 1 d8 x3 R5 Q& C
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
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Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation s, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
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The Management
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Pass this on to all who are employed. |
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