Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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$ g3 {6 X: u" X: s: R. B: v. q6 U> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
$ h* X! ^4 V, L0 U) h> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
) }9 ]% S  `, q> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
* y1 V) S2 x3 n2 D) e( \" H> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
# {0 R+ ^8 ~9 H* |& N> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
4 Y5 B5 p2 r/ ]' b% U> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
& d) r! [; n1 Y, b1 O5 `>cream.
* A! Z4 I8 y9 [+ N. x! r3 j> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
+ E5 c4 T: d4 d1 v! a6 @8 T> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
5 V( Q$ v9 F; s% R> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
1 ]$ p) \. R2 E7 f> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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7 w; N6 n& h, h  f> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
. w  [( Q; |" K3 M% y> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
4 M: a* k& G) n9 [1 O> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
$ C; x1 \5 I7 |> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
8 h3 [) z! ]- |; I> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
6 T6 }2 @( @0 i* F& F5 }6 e. p> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
) M+ A: P) Y* _/ i3 C> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
! w: p: I4 Z2 }7 g: e, L1 z  b> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >
+ P; x) y" n* [. B" s5 ^5 O> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
" t! o1 O5 E8 U: ^- h> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
3 j3 [' a6 u' q> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
3 r1 n2 G( W. P2 j2 N* v- e4 \> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
% P# @5 |" R& [/ q# d' S! G$ i> > > >called on little TONY.
7 h9 E6 L6 W6 D8 M9 S. W> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
0 i$ O: ?  S' I$ p> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
$ g% C- g& q8 q4 p> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
  E1 X1 x, U1 ~7 [  T> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business