Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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! {. {+ l2 I( K. e> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
; Q7 R4 t$ [# ~9 v% \) c# `> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
1 J8 p* d- j( e8 f) @+ `3 j6 B# M( P> > > >little TONY.
) p+ g3 L- V" z! M5 p7 a: E' a- f- x> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
( U$ g/ r8 ~) @1 m$ F# ]$ k> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
' l$ A! ~: Y4 E) I( h3 U% m> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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2 X/ {1 p2 `0 r( ?> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
, |$ H8 f' Q; c5 c6 o. R2 g>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
6 \7 r% d3 C+ ^$ I/ @> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
0 ^6 T7 r* i+ h3 @& x3 w  C: c> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
& [0 M2 F" k2 i+ Q> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
5 Q  y# R) W8 Y0 z, A& w8 z> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
: Q; Z/ C+ D" s& N5 Y: y1 O! G) l> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
/ G" M/ ]- O' d# t- `9 V0 Z> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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5 y, \, Q- F7 i> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
' X% ]4 y5 t) I5 w# `0 {> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
7 N- c3 h6 t9 \+ H/ d> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
; b. C# w) f' d0 h2 s$ W6 \+ v- r> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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  n1 p* s. a& B' o1 x! w, t: M> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
2 E6 R" r/ o: i' Y. D> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
  t- R4 J/ E" F- o4 s& U7 b1 Z7 {> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
. Q- `  s' A; Q2 |> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
) q7 W( y1 E! l6 Y7 b4 O3 E9 |> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
) i7 \) M* Z8 c7 |3 o! @/ Y+ t> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
( z2 d$ l/ n& t- K> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
. K$ A' p5 Y; T, }) |' |: h> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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& v; j) m4 C( s2 c# O  D3 a> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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, h) \9 U- R8 a, \# M> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
$ j. B2 j9 O: ~0 d> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business