 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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2 ]. N! k0 G$ A0 o" F$ D/ hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 J. J {! x4 Z, W2 {
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 6 |% f l" E1 Y/ r7 U
" n( T0 H4 ?& @5 Q( UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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8 Z3 x* A6 W! c$ e; }Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 p0 w7 O* T( ]* P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc." y+ b/ x' C7 m1 q+ @) f; \. B
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 X- i" j4 b4 E2 @
- A$ u/ F. _* q# P* jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 2 A+ i9 m7 ?' H
' u7 l/ k% y RWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.; ]. E2 l$ X2 b1 i
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 G; o5 i7 c* O
4 b6 Q9 n# C' o4 _6 ^; wWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. + y' D, c# q7 O
1 d, q' s* d/ E; J" URinse conditioner off hair.; D% G N7 Q( v" j9 j$ `+ ~9 l' _
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.2 R+ G) `# g& @& U, Q( q
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* g3 J: E. k$ H; L( T! }
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 8 Z/ U' G5 v6 ^# y
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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, B- |- h6 R$ ^! h9 O; v) L( eReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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& E/ q2 l, p( _7 r1 L' \# DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 0 _# A, |8 q; |+ E
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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9 A7 ~+ k" D1 h, w8 XTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.; u0 W" z3 m- c# w! e
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 u7 B+ x L1 B6 t! K# G
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. " |. m9 A( Q& L- O0 O
. _, X1 J$ o0 ]2 vAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 4 F* ~: d, p- C) \
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ' o1 l+ H, E4 O/ l6 c7 |2 L) j8 |' a
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ s- E* ~( T G5 X& p: y1 A% u
! V. u7 t& {* e' V; C6 B8 J- C: \Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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/ @+ [8 T' F9 U- ESpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ( e; f+ v. q$ L2 T2 z
4 o, D! U7 y6 Y- a$ E8 C; wWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . N7 i' l& o6 I; \
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Pee. 9 g( ^" m) B G0 [+ N# I4 \8 G
/ M4 n' c2 J. J- X0 a% ZRinse off and get out of shower. 1 I* s6 X' ~- ?% u
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Partially dry off.: E) I8 y2 Q, p6 r& C; K, P% |/ Y$ x
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. " e; t" B% ?( B1 ?. t/ x
* W% C9 u% V- z/ R5 H8 v# TAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 ^- b& |; ]9 ` t
& o0 u" y$ F0 E4 v" r) M. ]Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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4 C+ ]# [0 V/ e& D: ]0 `Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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