 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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" G2 |0 _% i; GTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# S8 s; T/ {$ \$ n+ U w
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! f$ u% J6 q- i& x5 F, v) }
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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+ q" w0 p8 J$ y9 DLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . N- V$ v, y" z3 u( z% F/ I
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.* k( T+ o! k" b( z7 h; W$ T
( j s( i. s; Y# U W8 RGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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+ k; V# |! l8 j3 o# v/ hWash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ ~1 u/ z5 t! e1 J" |5 h
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..' i1 l8 D2 Q2 E
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 v. q: w" a2 u0 P; {
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : ^) x3 i/ _+ M# ~) g
' S: b# z h& E# J7 d" ~! C iRinse conditioner off hair.
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7 \. }: q& f' o; s( v; h2 o+ `, ^Shave armpits and legs.
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' ?0 v3 g* x) l0 P7 ~Turn off shower.; {6 k. r9 s' B
2 [; a" N2 I3 Z, q2 _/ i; F" R( oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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n) a! d2 l: H) @+ J' E+ _Spray mold spots with Tilex. 6 a; [& h6 V1 |2 o) d7 v% q
p b( w3 H8 S2 r- EGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : @0 M6 F& M% z' c2 L9 k @# a6 _
+ g) ]% v7 U9 y j, vWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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% E- h1 B7 }/ O: T7 q- J" t4 vReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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% ~; l& R" r- i4 z2 jIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. " Z4 c5 m6 _* V3 {4 u$ i
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * a/ L: j) q2 V q+ M
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; Z0 @$ C3 w' a* U
% e3 B3 i- ^2 r% |Walk naked to the bathroom." G7 D# g: @* Z! a: g! c1 A
) s* z2 I7 P' C5 ^. HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 1 k+ h$ m7 j1 S6 V
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & g4 u. n# o, ]& _1 ]( J2 K+ }
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 3 t- w( |' s7 I0 X1 E0 b$ E
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 s: E" v3 _" ]
/ l2 t# p" t# U% ABlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + ?6 m8 `$ I1 N3 O7 v0 ?
2 _" x8 e6 p# x* TFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & b6 ~7 ~/ m, m+ N& q, \
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * J' U7 u5 b* q0 }$ m( _
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. + L+ H) ]& o( m! \6 X
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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) r- I: s3 M4 E' OFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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% X- ]& R9 N0 U& D' FAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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0 r8 d7 G- B2 D3 yLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & x, E X* w; Z8 _3 Y; s
% v/ W8 a- i7 n; h" c; yReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " P( l- e3 G* s, a6 T6 U6 i; J6 Y
, I0 M# ~& I6 P) E% ?Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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