 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ w. M: r6 P5 d2 G. a
9 p" q0 z" _3 F, ^% j# }Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( D+ Y+ S. k1 Z1 m4 l' F5 L
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! f; I0 R6 |0 X4 b. U8 C+ [. hLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
I2 Z- B8 b* H2 a- y nmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.0 j. Q$ [5 ~+ K+ f5 C) O
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 H4 x! e7 f! R( z& s
: e* L4 ?; D. N4 [" _! qWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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; y2 m/ X/ F z' f% P3 dWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.! e4 S) @% k* Y1 i4 m" V3 D
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.." A2 q3 U: @0 u/ ` w! _
" y! P' `0 d1 ]) H3 E4 nWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * K1 R# @, P) m1 d7 p- O
2 t) q8 d$ k# C( ~5 V' vRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.# b5 x6 b! s8 A' w z5 a& w
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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. c* Z X; n: d0 SSpray mold spots with Tilex. $ O% K" D# S3 B
4 d, j$ e9 @3 W* JGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 S5 Q1 b1 j7 W0 Z: C7 y
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8 I3 Y, t2 ^! q3 q! r6 i' S: nHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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; f$ X: @* k5 F% X7 f4 u+ F3 o6 b2 O' @Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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- ~# `# p/ s! y1 Z! l& eWalk naked to the bathroom.
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5 K Y/ @' m- W* r, A( Q zIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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6 h9 q* y8 A9 `) ?5 ZLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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% S" h! r: p& q9 p# c6 RGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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0 Z& E% @3 {. MBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 9 C6 q+ W# z; q( M3 t0 e
% Q0 I0 j# E6 Y# w5 tFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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0 O Y% j; z# a% S7 o3 E, e7 kWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 X1 \# z2 c9 U/ h. X6 b6 m
: |& ?& n% G) x! wWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 3 n7 T2 y# n6 b6 K9 r4 P
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f- D' @! X$ VRinse off and get out of shower.
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2 Q9 M( S) }- Q; {* X w( APartially dry off.
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2 i+ X7 V c/ e! p- X$ tFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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* Q( _! g8 Q% o- F0 ?. L/ y: AAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 2 X* w h7 p+ J5 v1 v$ L
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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