 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 9 d1 [% R, x- P, f4 u
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( [# |+ Y3 a s3 ]
) @& ]$ X/ b4 R' W6 o; lIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.; O7 V3 c. g- Q' H" f; G# X; G" h
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' d& G+ i) ~# W0 [( c. i3 D! {make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + u8 O+ T. w" m. h% W
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # [0 R$ N. E7 t. O* K: {. F
" i( w ]8 y! V* d8 m! |Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 p) ]( ^. u, M
7 ?8 h1 h0 T0 e, G3 @# nWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ! T) x4 y% N/ S0 }
3 O3 p* _5 e0 T, fWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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4 G' A" V4 ?3 \Rinse conditioner off hair.
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, {! V* Y5 P& k, I5 a( K9 v gShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.! \# E) m V s |. l, I9 d
6 h. g$ [: M1 {) vSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* G) e2 F% B: ~
9 f) N2 E. W5 l; f4 QSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , C2 a+ ]2 f* `3 ?
, x7 B( B% s0 _Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. * F# z+ b# m# p6 _ s" Z5 x' |" W
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * R* v! l7 |' {4 ~9 A h5 E
& k0 Y w' E; U, j U8 AIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , K" [, I [1 G9 y! K' [8 v
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' j( W& X+ a( w- O. r2 ?. w& n
- T) |" H, o6 ~* i9 ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * \+ |* `3 C, p0 D& v9 A+ @
% Q* i/ \5 x* S( j* K2 \Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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0 k! x2 N+ h( I$ BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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1 C6 o6 v; v- RGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' D9 c( c" R) G+ O8 M
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 V! [1 H% o, ^% }9 R
6 [7 f8 p% t: E/ OWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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3 S& b3 D' W$ p- U) J3 w0 e$ }Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 J: O+ y5 t+ ]* G' A5 h. i
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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0 v$ b/ n8 m* E( Y, W4 JPartially dry off.6 B _3 j$ M5 B: p
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. + N# C9 ]% s6 O# _
$ N% v5 i6 e' \7 b% WAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ! s4 y8 c! Y( T, v* j8 ^! ^) X/ x
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Throw wet towel on bed. 2 n. c7 s `. `5 t. H6 p2 [* F! h$ l
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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