 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 \! n7 ~) I1 e' Z q
$ e2 z; E0 ]% I& ]$ z3 p6 ~8 }% s( M& [3 F: J5 J& @ t
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- q0 G9 v1 @5 v7 c9 e( W( W& \; t4 k4 ^4 N4 Y F& F! h
) r) X0 |( {/ u! r8 m/ B' e" A; l) w 2 s9 R7 O# ~9 O2 p* }
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 x+ }( t1 Z( G; W# Q" F
0 w6 {/ i6 I- y) V$ q0 t& N7 e7 U( u5 DWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + j4 o7 p4 {5 P: z+ a! `8 W! N
) G% W5 }# ^( _8 F
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
, }5 V- s# R3 U3 B: n
) y2 }1 @2 W- h- o# ]Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # n& ?/ d9 W# _
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( Q# j5 {/ B" O6 _! U. S. q- e0 x
) i' ^+ \+ _9 S4 u$ `9 EGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 ], w# w+ U# U# G* |; \
' m% \5 z+ s. T* F# b; x3 d2 {9 E
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
# e! L- D5 Y9 c' @5 x0 Z! Q( N A# L" M: J. @ C
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
) b9 e) T9 b8 r/ ]8 w- S
% M5 _7 W; q$ I' Y% WCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 e' U8 J$ y n$ f( @
3 e! N9 n8 R( K' W
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
8 w% ]" B9 q6 F5 R# |: F7 l5 \* D* A: D( Y3 n5 N* u7 L3 D
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. # j7 C4 }# A' T9 G8 k
0 S5 @/ Q3 M2 B v$ {/ hRinse conditioner off hair.
& y# ?1 M. s# \" _/ m9 c9 v
* N6 h+ Y: K& `7 G# R/ s9 bShave armpits and legs.+ L" d7 ?4 j4 P. s
1 T- H% ^& J2 F
Turn off shower.: F, r! q6 j) l+ Z Y- X9 r/ }
' {7 o4 y" f7 s' P8 K+ d) pSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
& b9 g) w( k6 x1 q; I4 b
. d# p, ^3 U+ f% y2 B. w5 Z ~Spray mold spots with Tilex. ) a8 @) _# z& i; [ s
9 n1 K) M% U9 C/ l" e, uGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. - m" I* g( z* E% [" [/ t
" D5 |. @$ m+ `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
( N8 f; E; h+ R( j& \9 E
J- n: S# V, zReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) G0 L4 z' j8 }6 n! A9 C. G* q
3 l# ]* G" G% {( b$ I1 N; pIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
$ y) }4 l3 i4 v9 r. Z6 A) U8 R* d& {* U9 p
0 e6 o9 v4 r$ _! Y/ b9 ^* h& q
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
j- f, O. I# n6 v$ B3 Q' v. G! D, i4 ~1 A5 x
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , S& M1 Q1 v) n
. P$ F+ O$ B4 ^- D
Walk naked to the bathroom.6 o- k' p* `& g5 d- Y
/ B2 g2 n1 {( C( \) L6 P8 X( z
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
% K8 W" Y$ i2 |/ \: d! Z
) F8 P- R& i+ d# { G5 n# Q TLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
2 z8 R3 ^8 A3 ?4 ] T& s& ?0 {1 O$ f3 E) Y; _. e5 @. n
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
; [) D' m( S! Y2 T9 E& Q& G9 R: q" \) G2 ~4 W
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. & [# K. M9 _; O+ U
/ Z+ ?( U P O- x& F; P$ uBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # h% x. \% j/ A; [9 O
0 i& I! @: h4 W3 P1 T5 o/ E
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
! Y* F9 @3 I& B3 O+ |4 a8 X
5 r/ L6 i$ N( @7 \* \) \/ BSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * `; y7 X3 K5 L( S3 w
; r0 g, Z9 f2 W
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
0 e2 j9 T1 @* j8 l2 v H) F
! [4 {( _ G2 F! HWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
- i6 N2 ?# [+ ?" a" ?& x, F
$ u6 J# g9 n+ o' T6 r$ bPee.
1 T; J2 o( Y H! w" R( [
: {/ p5 _8 J9 E2 ?; MRinse off and get out of shower.
2 s, @) B, D5 H9 O; i( ? h! T# n6 ]( f: m' P; {
Partially dry off.
8 x, U4 @9 X; @
! K" V3 a* y8 O; p3 CFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
( H. N3 ^" B+ a5 q( }! w
8 }% w% P, w3 B% ]Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; e( M N5 H3 v7 D6 W" K, ]
/ u( r) y8 E% B4 B- k O
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
1 [3 `- g F: @! |6 H
5 K( T: b c, ^. r' S7 u- i" xReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. N1 G- p% T; X% g" y
7 d5 O( n/ X2 c4 I+ k
Throw wet towel on bed.
! C) r0 t% B: e5 T9 ]4 v+ V9 _& ?; N9 h
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|