 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 9 }. c. r, m! J5 e0 k! M
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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, `7 p2 ^1 g- I% ~! @1 u" ~0 D8 KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 _; F! ^7 ^0 t f0 B
( \+ D' ]/ u- y2 t+ d8 f( X7 OIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% H+ I- K% P1 }5 J z( o
9 T- k, q- x6 rLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . u7 K1 \7 ]8 Z8 ]* N
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& ~# _9 l2 s! a( W5 `3 E
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - v2 e# f7 s7 _, e
9 `9 L1 ]: @: E; F- mWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : x6 s$ j* c0 ~" v
' q1 Z, {" @0 ~Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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0 r6 y3 W2 _$ F+ h$ gWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 Y7 C% H( }; q- [3 T% U" A
% X% W) y/ G' b: o1 n# NWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 ^; ]7 C2 G6 E* V
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 S" h3 X8 F, K
, k4 U7 d$ [! {' W6 N/ U* d% H. ESpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 X G( e" e- C. h2 q4 g
1 H: K; p. m- | p# yGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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9 v9 h$ \: M4 d. _, m+ g% t0 iWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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0 t4 t4 k3 n# ?$ `, GReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! ?3 Q t2 m# Z; z9 q) k* @( I
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 s5 s7 U2 B# `7 w V
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( S' Q& M& N& \& K0 T2 c6 S" K4 x8 aHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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2 O, p; ]# L t* c' h9 gTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. $ I3 \5 ^" ~7 D) q
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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4 e- U, e! ]! C% A3 tIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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1 ~5 t6 A ^3 H: @2 L# mAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 Z; D w* ^/ q) @
% J" _+ [% |+ e+ n" ?Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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/ S) E% `4 \$ s4 MFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' k5 d6 N* w3 p/ L
) Z7 ~/ C6 a6 @5 rSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % H4 k8 H8 u# U
3 c: ~2 k; ~8 s2 ]Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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3 g) m& w2 V% v) CWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 s- E2 e% r( E# ~) @, I a
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ! d- ~* _6 J: i& G- z+ U. m! _
1 F2 k" i. b! {, X8 q' n0 M ~$ yPartially dry off. H9 i' v7 C. k& I2 O. _
% L* I8 ^% o# G6 v0 [8 y' zFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 W1 D1 [' V e- L ^( b ?
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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& A4 [, H$ A. @: YLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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; J# v4 h- d UReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % m( x* k$ X, e8 q) k
+ _1 h0 O1 h" H- c |/ ]) [Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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