 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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0 y8 L$ v* N$ F N' e( T% e! o3 P7 dTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ Y, q7 O! V4 q O
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" p) b8 y$ E$ q5 ^make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 B% C0 W* e3 u" x; K& D
) T5 M1 ^8 `( d- n% J5 `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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! L. r. `2 y3 b$ ^4 B9 [4 GWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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2 B! h" q2 O. r- r6 A. tWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + F! t, r: H8 i! C, b
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. . N$ P' {; q$ k1 B/ U% ?3 Z
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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3 A9 y. g/ W, jShave armpits and legs.
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" Q3 d: t+ d+ i+ DTurn off shower.# a, s: @1 w* X
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.; \3 l7 {) ^7 Q0 S1 o( ]. u
. G+ q8 a0 L+ S& g' @Spray mold spots with Tilex. - |" H; ^! c# J
5 q% E+ U$ y3 `) S% mGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * t; X S: a; E, M
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! U5 j( p) s" c/ t8 b
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. % [- z, C" z8 _
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i! D* @- r- D- S; ^HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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* G9 |* Q( C. A0 E2 c; F4 HTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 R+ C' k7 C+ d3 |. a* jWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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' a6 q8 a" ]# a& LLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ' j; r( Y8 \+ b
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 [0 K8 G: R$ B
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * m3 q" }4 L$ W; T* J! P) o. z
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & _/ ^8 v- L. r% _$ y' i1 \
, U; e3 j+ X! \( p. oWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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% f7 F! p+ Y9 LWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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" H1 o, n4 U; _! y* A. W7 YPee.
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- a( }; [9 s- h$ bRinse off and get out of shower. " U4 U0 |& Z9 ?# B: J7 ?
- d" X6 p7 O" H6 m7 G$ k4 `Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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K7 |2 u% ~# G2 rAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ) p7 x4 c$ s Z) ^# i
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % Q2 I3 w0 y5 f* Z- V: o
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Throw wet towel on bed. 3 ^9 J U' t9 T8 l) [6 P4 ^0 E7 G
8 Z/ w4 \) ~- W, r1 `If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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