 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
3 Q' ]" c) M- n: B5 Z0 C) _( ? J4 M' L& Y
% B# ^2 w1 z6 K' U--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
% i" `# s0 R4 T" l3 E: r f/ e1 C. A' g. [+ E. A6 Q
; Q6 c& Z/ h# z
0 p% ^2 Y. n) [Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 s& F$ u9 [7 T! \/ W7 n3 s6 n
4 M) e$ r6 i; i" R2 t
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 ?8 k$ @5 n6 N4 o. E2 q
) ]8 w$ r; P2 u/ }' z; \
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' t2 V( I6 l7 }3 w4 f, \8 K4 _9 m" R z0 r! |
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
3 H7 g; N* O9 H8 k# b, v8 amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
7 d9 N$ }- A9 V6 m, t0 E) M% D9 ^3 q- C8 N3 z
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + E6 k& [$ c. P
+ e' H+ O# M0 sWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6 Z! Q F& G9 C& x/ I: |
5 p" x& v: ~% }6 J8 @' l) wWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 h) n Y f0 D0 }/ @
, X9 E; {" V. v. X* p9 ~+ }1 m
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ F. H" s( q1 l- b
/ b& f1 v- r2 M
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 x7 M+ p/ s) E
s: n& i2 ]; `' w7 @( i, S8 ~# q
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
( @2 b) k% X5 B7 E9 s* H$ F5 I: e
Rinse conditioner off hair.
$ a. `$ V% c0 t8 f
; z, o% C% {% R0 G lShave armpits and legs.
0 R, f+ _$ l/ x. [9 r5 R- g5 e# R( n# _5 a! v: o8 q7 O: c" h
Turn off shower.* Y$ a3 h; U3 a1 w8 B: W
+ p2 _! J7 w& P. T6 lSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
6 }6 r; d4 N* q6 J' [- `5 Z
4 w$ h! [. Q6 K- g+ pSpray mold spots with Tilex.
& ]1 q: A2 o3 S4 ?! [/ F
0 X, i; k; d* Z2 o" b- r: d lGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 b( W. g4 S5 \& D, u
8 ~0 u. r$ J6 s% d" ~
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. # \5 M6 o8 _2 o ^! l
: S) s; C1 P2 F+ w& e- oReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) r) P. o. I4 ]) ~( ~8 v$ R2 A
) A! [/ c6 O. q# S3 `3 xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2 j l3 q9 A2 Z1 X- r9 O. v9 g1 P* _/ n- d7 {
, v8 E' D0 v6 ?+ W$ J8 uHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
- F/ F3 I9 {, p4 s" r, P. ?8 k. x! I) x3 H
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % C8 E+ w: N* x; L; O+ R' [
# u, r' _, ~: I' hWalk naked to the bathroom.
4 l: ?/ b8 M* Y6 B* v9 M$ a* O
' z J4 Q( i5 E$ a( g+ xIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' \5 A0 Z# o% C
6 Z" z# `2 ^1 ^4 @" g, u+ hLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
/ W7 G0 D2 {5 K2 ^% ^' g$ h; f1 r5 [2 ^5 {2 m' `/ h# q1 B
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
' j" H, d" N6 w3 f$ W6 h
' Z+ [; m( W1 R- h/ D7 ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
, t/ M/ \9 u6 C$ C# y |* g& e0 L/ J8 S7 g
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ) O+ r, W' U# H% Z
$ \8 o( g" n% f4 GFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - g8 B6 Z! m! ~# [ L g* Y
. ]. t0 a0 ?# n1 X
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
) x( Q" R3 m* V: p* j+ D/ [5 g% Y: J- H- m+ J8 T
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ x$ A& ? j4 _, S, s
! S8 h1 ]- K. P
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 X' ?$ l% L8 ]8 S v: b: Q( K* M8 I
2 w' ^/ s/ T; D, yPee. + l+ e! |- T5 S3 F W# k9 D' d9 [
' s: V/ U% L9 \2 b2 l+ o; JRinse off and get out of shower. * M( L, ^& o+ ~# V
% `) I% Y$ f9 l$ N, G$ d
Partially dry off.6 s, y% Y+ S/ N T( }
8 E! b' d- u4 RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ' Q. x% t P1 x+ ~* L
& W; K# @+ e; i2 N' S
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 3 q( K; R0 a% e% [9 Z5 W4 w
: G, N( U) q. ]" x5 _- h
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 m+ e# L" _" _
. {+ [3 ]! y2 K; D( g/ {Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) }0 u n. s* n
* `1 P, X3 A" q; W
Throw wet towel on bed.
0 U/ A* u4 ^5 V, g( X
% [1 E! L; C3 }2 \# VIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|