 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - l5 Z% r7 w: O3 Q7 T
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6 j: ?! n8 o8 _" ]! j9 W/ qTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks./ S$ `* d2 x: a/ b# I; D) E
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : \' L0 q8 }5 v2 v) K2 V
* z$ m* G% S+ nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- m: V( z+ h# c
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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7 P' _/ t B. p) l3 a+ @' jWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& ?1 z i" T, A; q- W; m0 `# X) E
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..: L6 r" q" w: m- e# O* N
* z8 [; Y8 @% P, |, T" X0 n1 \Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( o1 E! N: U! y( U- w0 p, ]2 q( R9 q3 W$ x
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Rinse conditioner off hair.5 L0 O$ l& c# u
]7 S( ]3 \/ s5 _4 ]! \7 T; ^0 ^Shave armpits and legs.. U# b5 B& b. V4 Y# G
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Turn off shower.% [5 i2 s: Y5 o8 C
, G5 v( f& q* L' r5 ~) R4 f$ G* LSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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4 k f9 h. \1 Z6 mSpray mold spots with Tilex. 4 m" ?- h) Y7 p
5 c+ e. j1 ~( c; B) PGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ; ? g; C: x8 Y) k7 K+ f
9 Y# V$ c6 j W( N0 y- S/ OReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! }4 \5 M# R" T( r, |" H8 ?
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 V! z9 s/ _; {8 N
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+ v/ {& V: ^0 [7 t1 DHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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! G' C O5 i8 D, I+ P6 a1 R4 ~9 zWalk naked to the bathroom.
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* u+ F6 x7 m- T5 O3 HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 N2 H/ P2 R' U9 C: ^8 O0 _. M `5 o, A
. [. o6 h% E0 B) zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " k: x# s% H6 L2 O. o
1 u7 T' l+ m0 @9 `3 e7 bFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 5 j8 T/ U- x5 K# `; \$ I( X g
4 e8 X# t9 P, X" d' Z, ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 p8 c- F( W$ b. D. K) Y w
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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' m. I" W# b yWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : o) `) v' i( ]8 D4 Z
S+ L& p( S6 j" ~) r+ j* j% APee. ) @! W- q: T- k$ R& {( u$ u
/ e3 n- `4 Q& Z5 |/ o( E- N/ jRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.; B4 N4 @, b8 G6 I/ k7 a' U
g5 n' _% h& a+ y% e. TFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ; b# j1 E5 \. C6 n
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 @9 G$ D6 Q- g
! h6 M3 f/ |( B# \+ y6 wReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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6 H$ e- ?3 c+ h! CThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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