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Why did God make mothers?
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. D- g* o1 N+ k& {7 P% \1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
( `& r# O7 @4 U0 p4 U2. Mostly to clean the house. " D; a, Z$ c/ g$ J
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. # o l, U5 n8 @
/ ?$ \7 {/ b$ P# Z' J3 }How did God make mothers? ; r: H E5 ]3 y* _9 X
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us./ v2 |* E8 d% h( O2 m
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
r& f7 J- v) p: }; K3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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" y z) ]/ j/ b! p3 XWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? E Z! S( v- U, S& w3 ^7 o" W8 u
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
. e/ x/ B; H& l2 S" G2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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9 o- X: _& p2 q* M% D/ E% \& K) ^, JWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? " D8 I/ @2 P) G% r/ [! W _
1. We're related.
8 d4 g% J; R# T7 c2 _2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. % N3 t) k( t& n' T$ a) @* T5 s+ ]" I
4 P* E3 Q6 Q4 \What kind of little girl was your mom? ' s$ E/ ?+ S; i* I" [& }5 }* ?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 7 n0 ?; v# Z, W) D% C
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. # H7 M4 Z7 o4 w9 h5 o
3. They say she used to be nice. " C; G3 P: O( J3 S' Z
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? ! O% V5 U" i, p5 f
1. His last name.
# P9 I6 E G/ f+ L# h+ m2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
8 ~2 Q6 @/ T0 j1 A' {' i2 A3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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+ P8 f5 g' O" a, P7 {& \Why did your mom marry your dad?
% T, |. ^ u% v$ k% C1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. ( V: u- c/ {1 h' Z+ p' i$ N9 ]
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
6 n4 b3 x; S6 n$ z2 g/ k% M' |3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. % `2 K3 n; C8 s; X9 E: h
# `4 C% I1 A4 i4 JWho's the boss at your house? 8 q) f& ^5 A" }2 e
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
$ E: Y) N$ y, j2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
" a7 K* t& E! a/ X4 o# p4 E! ?! ]3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. / }5 o: ?8 s% _0 a+ S
8 P7 ~, ^! f; d. K7 I8 CWhat's the difference between moms & dads? ; e8 H7 p& X2 z% @6 f- e
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
! T) p6 C' Q' ?8 I+ S, ]2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
/ f: W8 K2 p; p0 b3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. % s/ s! ]' x- ?/ n, A
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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3 M% m( b M) ?8 s; _What does your mom do in her spare time? # l1 F6 a- m) {$ x n% o* V
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
% S8 ]5 q+ A! F. ^# m" [9 ~! K5 V2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
* g0 M4 w. O R3 h: O1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.* [' T5 j' b1 Z
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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# l3 ]4 \* ~% {: S6 {If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
5 G' t2 r/ P* A0 ]" Y0 x1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. & n+ ]6 ]0 P4 {3 ~1 e; ]
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.% A' s, u6 I" U
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. . @2 \+ v- \6 L1 L$ o1 R
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