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Why did God make mothers?' S+ l+ j5 l; Q
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
+ L; B+ f' ?( [( R9 [6 w2. Mostly to clean the house. 7 A; m7 C9 o. @$ ?7 l" v% q5 u
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
. \% |) r6 @9 C/ `# z1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
, `8 T u, W* ^9 Z2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. * A: g. P; A" g$ U( H/ \
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
6 S- y/ y$ ]9 @; m) G1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. " s( ~2 `! W+ X% Q* M% K3 u
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
% ]7 Z; A; I9 y" c, P# y1. We're related.# D, k0 `) H+ ?) |7 O
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. - L9 ~8 ]+ j( z
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What kind of little girl was your mom? ! a: B! u0 C- M0 G; u* Y1 W
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. - [- b) G! H* e
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
0 j# I ~! w$ ~) k3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? ! p; ^% }: e4 o0 O$ V2 n+ f. i8 h
1. His last name./ v7 j& K% z1 |) f
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?: J7 R# C; J" X5 n% E. m4 ^
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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4 f/ R+ b7 U' z% k' g* l" nWhy did your mom marry your dad? * j- ?7 d- ^: o5 p& Y# d( ~
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
" i* E2 L5 [: K! Y8 q5 j/ g2 r2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 0 y) Q/ _& s1 t% [
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. " k- Q: J: C; t
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Who's the boss at your house?
' K( v3 \/ ~% V% x0 U% B. x5 ^ C1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. : _: V) B8 y: e5 ~" z
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
+ W: f! M9 S6 P: \3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads? + K. T. H% [7 N; c G
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
# N v/ ]3 \$ h: L9 u2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.$ _; y( a0 r) Z/ b; c2 ^$ p( O- e. A
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. ( q9 x# \2 }$ a6 o7 I& T3 o5 X
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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What does your mom do in her spare time? 7 J2 r/ L" e$ N
1. Mothers don't do spare time.! x8 t0 w [+ q% f/ K0 q
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ; y7 ^& m5 u" J# y, R
. E3 T# I Q4 q5 W- p7 r" HWhat would it take to make your mom perfect? ! v7 u* N$ b3 P$ [; g
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
/ i+ d6 o B: {- S2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 9 _) ]6 W1 n1 y) r% E" y
7 G6 `( x/ W' @1 @4 OIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? - W( c% P Z: J8 r
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
# a: W1 o( F) k. g$ |7 z2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
, C/ p# z) i4 n# ?9 Z' U% [3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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