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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
' a9 ?8 T8 ]% E/ }: F1 w' j8 e" | V8 m2. Mostly to clean the house. : G$ T! B/ J6 M$ r
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. % O; ]4 I( Q9 o; ?9 ?, g2 ^* |
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How did God make mothers?
" j5 D3 q& [$ \/ }- \1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.7 V4 }; l% d2 M' b* `4 g
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
: t& t* _( \6 H( r3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 4 n) r0 h7 @! w3 ?4 s1 z y3 s
6 @3 D6 X6 {% J* ]What ingredients are mothers made of ?
- t+ w" }) Q0 g8 f) U$ C; ?1 z5 d1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
% P/ ?+ Q2 i& R, H/ {: c2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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: ^1 L2 r! f/ x% jWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? & r# v. c# S# F2 i
1. We're related.4 T/ A: G! X7 Q$ F: z6 c& d1 ?
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. ) t% x! l$ Y5 Q! {
, [7 S8 U: ~" ?1 r5 @/ C8 LWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 5 t# Q7 N& q Q( C4 ]/ k4 w
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
" I3 f! V, P3 X, _, H) b( S, f/ @2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
; b& m3 E+ T, j6 e, n; `+ C3. They say she used to be nice. % o6 u7 L4 A- i4 j- w
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? + J7 K% D. Q7 R/ q2 u5 v
1. His last name.5 d9 g4 Z/ c2 \4 m2 ]8 Z
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?: O2 K- Q" r0 w" x6 `+ D
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? ( l( N+ I* U$ l; D8 T
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Why did your mom marry your dad? 0 i7 C) K: B- Y( f& ]" z
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. , I9 G- Z& V0 k0 i, L! f$ S
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 5 d9 A8 W4 [& W
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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( u% \ |5 U A; x6 g; h0 vWho's the boss at your house? 8 i$ o# |, Q, N0 [/ u' n
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
9 c) X- O t! \ h2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. v+ Q& Q6 Z- d7 G8 V
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. $ K! i. v6 _5 l4 \1 x
/ j5 U6 q- _8 ?' y0 aWhat's the difference between moms & dads? 2 E. `6 [2 m% h0 P3 F; }
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. : _1 f4 B* l; ~5 `) W$ Z8 t
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.- i6 h# C2 w9 ?
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. $ t4 D. v( V7 C) w( E. D; w9 `
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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What does your mom do in her spare time? 1 \6 j1 [+ S+ @: k9 m! `. Q
1. Mothers don't do spare time., }+ h' y, c. P( F! ]6 W- N
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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$ r0 H% T/ l0 O4 ]8 A u* A) uWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
- _: b. i! Q+ N3 A3 l1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
% ]7 x( r! |2 h" z5 n2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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0 D( }; h9 B% t& @: I, q/ W+ F& iIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? * R. p9 z" D! B2 ]3 ^
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. ! k `' Z; k- H+ ]; _2 C% T& V9 b
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
) d. F2 \' r7 A1 ^" ^0 T% x3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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