UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

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Dear IT Support / Software Developer,
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  U! T$ X. x. VLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
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In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

+ w, l; p; E. yAnd now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
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What can I do?
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0 O& D0 \5 \: ~4 d  ~0 a1 W+ JSigned,
  H6 _1 j4 t4 r% dDesperate Housewife

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Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

+ D( J- S6 u# P4 QFirst keep in mind:
& R  c* C  X2 \0 A8 }3 iBoyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 .
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If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
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But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.
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7 X, C1 u$ @; B: F5 K, MLate Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
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3 i' N, f7 P5 H$ ]0 T0 j" ]In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

) O; v5 o( n- a9 T8 B5 LYou might consider additional software to improve memory and
( p0 Q; ^+ s" @! g  Z; xperformance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

7 P; O5 k9 O+ z5 N  L0 BGood Luck,
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