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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 Z2 e; y% d! P% n% |; \+ K
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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! H3 G6 O* U+ h5 i: z- @0 Z7 q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! v- Y, ]: M, r7 }" A
capital of Canada .
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) Q; m& j# D+ d9 I8 [. P" z: k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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" S7 C2 G! z4 N3 d 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, U" w" _. G% x1 A( a
capital of Canada .2 ^1 V( t. u) b u4 A r# ~2 ]
, s5 Q1 ~( p' \/ _) \0 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is' O( u3 e- r1 n r2 e
$8.00/hour.7 W# L4 G5 B, v, [+ |7 p
/ n8 }# S8 k6 Z4 I! v5 r9 r5 F/ f, x7 Q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 t, \8 `# R$ s( J; O; a9 w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! o8 U: ~" u" k& }" U M( |
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# B7 V4 |3 j8 j& f6 x: G9 t; @# Qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% u% S2 a" @$ n0 N0 U0 V' O
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ }+ m, ^. q5 ]years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.' T+ g6 _9 @/ A. ]3 r9 c. h' p. b- Q
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) m/ B; _$ u7 L* J/ M; E& | THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :2 ~1 m5 u; V* v" W( O
2 ~9 j; Y: ?0 v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) A8 }( B5 C n1 c$ L) ~. Q0 T8 \
8 |, ~2 @# N! P) X% _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- W( K- o3 D, ?3 \$ h& z2 l: Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: M" k" G8 F) ~& Z% ^
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 Y& c( q6 D' K) e* S1 Z Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ Z. }/ f7 Q: e) a0 I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) o5 L, o" k. v) ?phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 a* M4 S- E7 U! b3 @, s n
: j" o% V- p2 M, }! R4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 x, X) a$ [; T8 ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 n3 B5 T: P0 ncan get you shot.7 Z9 r8 @1 ?9 ~ r E$ l
3 \1 ]$ |& x; i0 f' _* P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 v }& o" v; w- {
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ H! Q( O6 d& e: b- ~. Vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; S4 E& M! g4 e: Vmore construction starts everyday.
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' ^( w1 H2 m- ? 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! ?" X' H( p3 vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% a6 {/ G* _( r: u9 V) G7 B$ osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 ~$ ~" D2 V z, N. }8 g5 [2 f
the same road.& ?) W3 e# g0 o( I) J* x2 h* y
! F8 q5 L9 J* y& e, |1 I9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& R" q3 J" d+ j# l& X% h" J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 M' }/ M$ r% O) A, j: x: m
activated."
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5 T2 l" P( F ]10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: G7 Q' L$ T, z9 Y' X3 l6 o
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") i B6 o4 J6 s( v2 F& ]1 o; Q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ N N% O2 d* ]( {
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 l% f0 Z% A5 D! k0 ?
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* V% f% n; M6 r* [/ i& pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" i+ s _5 c' w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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