 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
- v' a1 g9 ]1 F" a
1 C b0 ?, `6 O6 I4 `8 O9 ]3 a5 h) K4 s3 J k2 j
- g' f- _0 Y }. ?+ C6 D1 F. l
1. Bring your own house.8 I# G4 { r) E$ Y( T' b& c; y
9 k! A+ X9 g- A) q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 n# o) `4 e. I0 m* W
hospital.
t H p2 A0 U2 i- R5 L; V. I% `4 |! j4 r4 G8 L4 v3 ]9 ~" ]
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" k% H5 U8 h1 X/ N
capital of Canada .8 ?, s5 ~* H5 l8 ~; v
9 ?7 M0 h3 }/ {2 c1 I/ ~) o' F
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
1 \" B" j( E/ T7 k, X8 L6 U- v: M- K9 m
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
6 J- \1 n a. |0 [. `& Wcapital of Canada .
; A; \& B7 N6 `3 S' {% Q
! L% x- _& N' t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) ~& a4 h& I( I4 ?& ^8 t) m- ^$8.00/hour.
+ h1 c) U9 D0 F! E6 O* q/ @/ U; }6 ?( d5 n1 Z* {
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
+ | z1 l2 P1 B9 D& f1 y- w8 \: ^' ~0 l7 t6 U8 b
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( P" c$ t( N/ q- F }on a 15 year holiday ?" ]4 a2 a5 d( D1 I5 j# e5 T: A* X
9 g; h( @# E3 O7 R' c$ y! ^. S 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! w5 b1 Y* @% h' A _# g! Jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 `9 @ W0 c7 b1 b8 |; S' c- m
( E) m6 w: ? S6 d( j8 L10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 I3 h! l. V8 k' P) `6 o+ S1 I
here sick.
6 y5 A2 a* r7 [& v7 J4 G' J% q' I% o1 r1 I
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 G, S) W* B& D2 C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
9 G* b; ?8 d, X+ F6 E$ U( l
# V% U+ ~: ]0 W4 d2 w" j4 T) }
6 c9 m V0 H0 K% _+ {
' y( l9 g- W5 L, g1 K! g+ N. |9 h% o: N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 i6 O" K9 V3 g3 V' u9 e
+ n8 G6 u5 O& n( ^6 C1 S/ d1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".8 E+ ~7 u/ e" _* t
! }. }1 P0 P% C' v2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: y$ r# c2 l2 B* G2 {# ^# `is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! _0 ^7 [* T' x- J6 G+ [+ L9 x9 M
9 ] F9 Z! {$ I6 f. c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 V/ T' m0 M. ^$ Kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% O4 E8 w0 h+ z) D, t' P, k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 L: H* {7 G; C8 C1 M. {( s! ^
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" r3 k, b& X+ }9 W7 {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., n' |( J" d% e. i+ h
$ N1 F6 h/ L; I2 ~1 j
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ P' @% s! i5 @6 Pcussed out, and possibly shot.2 F8 H# J3 L. i
, b2 M9 ~6 E5 `! {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ B3 M, I& {- `7 Ncan get you shot.( A& y6 _8 N: [- v: d5 S
3 _4 B( M& A- W! R6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& b; [+ \8 x: Abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" z) `% H5 A2 K& B0 B1 I5 |/ K. uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# w% X; o9 s& Z. p, Gmore construction starts everyday.; A# O& I, ?/ Q- r
$ {) b2 b2 w7 ~2 P$ n, l 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( q* M- ]% Y6 Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 h$ S4 x$ e. ^- x9 U8 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
1 S; ~* P, g4 @0 A& X
9 O7 ?1 l% X6 I) l: f8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% l3 d, \( x1 E( `$ W1 }* hthe same road.
& ]9 l1 c3 Z5 H1 C: U( A; n2 K! z3 Z" I) Q U
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) O4 V! G- D! D: H& |$ \
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: e' U( X- F% ~8 n$ V* V
activated."
I8 c5 r1 i% R( h! y. k) v2 ~, Z. n+ u/ b! M
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 K+ x7 `8 }' p6 f& `
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"! M3 K; B. ^6 {2 v) t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
; ~% @1 W7 E2 o# W+ j) C% i8 N/ b& ?/ @6 j! I7 \/ R t
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. n* t( I+ l& K, ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ ~- x( d5 b- t( t. D
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. ]/ V, f. C: k, O9 I6 x5 \5 X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
) l* W8 x) `# B3 W
B& w; P: Z9 q* G) C
