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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.- t, V, a) V2 ], z
7 w8 y- [$ [& f0 y- z$ R 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 s4 Z6 N4 i) P& `, I& ?0 d- khospital.) C& p* C0 e' }
6 z, Y# i3 E8 G5 i% Z1 I5 X1 x 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 x% R p5 b- Q* l) ?% c1 K
capital of Canada .
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) T8 T D4 F- [: G7 I7 [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& p$ ^* I3 v7 X0 p- K
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, ^/ F# |7 t' X) s" O; hcapital of Canada .0 K* P9 |$ v- j9 ~6 y& m5 k
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ j0 c6 B$ e" ~* S
$8.00/hour.% d) ~+ c- x) [' p6 Y6 A% C/ [
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- b' ^# @; |7 `! `4 H; U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 ]! [, z; J" Qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas% b: j% e8 v9 {
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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5 G+ n/ J; P+ Q$ x: B- e0 o' }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ @/ x# x1 q& `. N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! L2 X: W7 r1 x THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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+ z( \+ g0 ]2 o- Z, y( V/ P1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' J' \! O) b1 s" w! i
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 e1 Q# W- O2 _1 r; C8 c# l3 q$ A
; w4 }- y7 z% F" }) f* _3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: h, Y9 l" S" b$ pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ O6 _9 H' J o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ I9 e P) U$ v' r1 tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: u" p6 h: F, r; q/ I* `! I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& q5 Q: Z2 \, d o% g
0 H4 X2 G3 m3 l6 `* {- V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" u0 t' r" A; b: c* Qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" o o( f5 @! {8 [& S
can get you shot.9 W9 L$ f. _" r4 B h: @, H/ u
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 Z) I/ |" l8 h+ N! `, s' _
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& F: f z* h0 g3 `2 Bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. T$ P) K; o9 r7 \/ M9 W- a* x2 u
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' Z, j1 r% `. S, r$ s' x
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ f: ]. u- O( c, s3 ?6 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 q5 O! a) {( A# j _% F
" s! D( P+ P4 K* H3 [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- }1 E, y7 r" T; W2 D/ s& b
the same road.
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) h' R9 {. B7 i% P' [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. r. V& L& J: N- b3 J J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ l1 }9 n) b# E- O w4 O10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km y' c* Q) W, Z8 ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# a8 d1 w h% qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 Z+ ~$ c% X: W, ?
. W- m! u( \. _11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 `% G' @8 `' @# `6 {2 G% y6 A8 _
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' `& g! ]/ L) rblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
v$ x$ w. q# gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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