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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.7 R/ O) E! Z. _$ Y% y

6 H* Y3 K: T9 k7 ~5 C- K* s, E 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 Z+ X  `" Q7 k* y, z* ^: {" N8 l
hospital.% D# \% |4 T6 T4 A! Q8 i. w
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ n' {1 {- o! `
capital of Canada .+ p& j" \+ d! S9 g4 w: N# ]* |, P! M
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. W1 g! i! G& q3 ~
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ K: L0 v# n, G  L1 T& j# E- J# R7 Pcapital of Canada .4 K0 ]  y2 x1 V7 f" F9 X

4 ^0 \; g6 x& F( P1 T, w& Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 [: e* |  G, B& x$8.00/hour.1 g# D" T$ }7 q7 Z9 R  B" I
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 N+ K# u! c# k9 t! y8 O3 Y# l 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: R8 W, P& W* ^- h
on a 15 year holiday ?9 _: Q9 f# d8 M0 f3 x4 i0 f! B
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 Q/ k/ a( t$ _2 o( d: Z$ bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& N. E4 `4 E7 t3 F7 c4 a
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- w5 N( b- ^4 zhere sick.$ r* H0 D' ^6 P( B: [7 y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 l& r% _* I- N" t# ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( W5 v2 x, j: n

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9 Q9 E- B6 i9 v' S7 j' s! v THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- E+ B1 {1 i0 D! g+ a0 [' Q
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- K6 H* @6 q1 T, n* d. U- f# vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 r- f/ n- _) k$ s  G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 }" O# M* ^  u0 H' o: o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% b+ G- T& C2 K. v( L0 b
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' g! `3 I, i+ k3 ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* ~- I/ Y$ y1 [) f. R6 V8 j6 kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) B) {' U5 w. Q2 g; K6 |9 l4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. N( C" V2 B7 B+ g( x7 Gcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 X2 f' d% N" K) J* Z
can get you shot.8 `2 o3 f5 h. ]  X( Y: y

, O3 R$ r* R8 ?0 l" F8 L2 s% v. z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' \3 B% G- k5 P4 V, i7 H" Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 [$ g4 j3 }; rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" \$ ?5 _/ l" s( H
more construction starts everyday.$ R5 [8 w4 H! v

% P2 y1 y5 _9 |; B$ a. `  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 C4 ]. u6 p4 q) n3 f5 l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 v1 A3 U( [' T- A5 {squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 \9 d+ T6 U5 z& E0 H$ Xthe same road.
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. I1 {3 b. H7 |" G0 L9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ F$ N! `. g% I$ w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 Z5 t6 A; o2 }zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") J7 [5 k9 b7 o* j4 q+ L( e
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 H9 \- W* J! j: c3 _# C$ b8 w) vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* K& m9 x1 x* W) y  A* i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
7 {9 U- E6 s  Qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% f& p5 G; _+ Z1 q1 W: g满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。# A! L% |; G& n4 m
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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/ M  d# ^' B4 I7 g. H: F: D  Q[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 4 M! b0 T4 H+ A9 `: A; S2 y+ `
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 c2 c  u8 W, P! G6 g( @满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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8 r% p! J3 t3 B3 e3 n2 [/ L 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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' [/ L& x$ o% l5 v# C+ A这么刺痛你了吗?7 R: F! E& ?  g* i& b; a

5 E. R3 x, P0 u# r' j3 k我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ; w0 T# P" R) ~  g$ n
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. w% i% G2 Q  C+ T, z, q! ]3 n& f4 ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。2 B4 z' G8 J- X! \, |9 _3 \6 t: @3 d

& ~* ~9 o& V1 f* b$ |& t* A再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.$ H) N% x1 l( N* m% j

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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