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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( v! s! n9 ^* Y y& \3 `, I2 P/ {
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$ L4 J( Y: a0 v" j1 k$ m 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% s/ m9 H& ~ \& A9 Ycapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
% n2 Y9 V" i f3 D4 u( Q9 K! Wcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- u8 z d9 _* d/ i0 E$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.: j* s8 v& F3 ?; M! D$ I8 y
6 L5 T- H9 M4 T. ~/ M* P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) C5 R9 b9 N$ L; w0 u |( m/ Don a 15 year holiday ?# L$ Z! e' b5 k3 L
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- a; x3 \" x1 C
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ J! G' `3 W i r1 ?1 x
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
G+ c5 T/ A/ c6 H- dhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' c, q# J" @1 [ d4 x% @) Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 a% V4 S* N3 S4 s1 w8 Y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :2 |7 [- D* z5 n# i2 {4 K) C+ T
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., c/ T9 W, }8 n2 Z3 Y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! C" j. S0 i: `$ ]/ |) zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 ?8 m9 @% C; t, K4 L) @9 f/ A% @3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 C3 p' y& |$ F( z1 sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 M2 T$ j* v% l; |: X- I# Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 M8 X- i' Y6 x
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 Y, w% ~3 N4 {, t$ g& v- P# u
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% E8 Y, x0 e" r7 l
8 G6 h# Y7 ]/ i5 x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) J: \. ~4 B/ I* F
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 ^$ j, q# a+ _- g5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 u3 T9 S }4 v4 @1 ucan get you shot.% \! I4 `+ n- ]3 V2 J6 i( ]) P
4 p( i; G. t, i' M4 h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
3 |2 L% Y7 r2 p* ~: k6 k2 jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' z; ~: O5 r$ j& h6 J% O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 d# X- K; J+ S3 R: O! P
more construction starts everyday.2 @: k9 h$ h% Q
; _+ @( `8 {2 Y4 n5 \, b& _# N 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 J3 A, a' V& J: A1 Y9 ~) | o, gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; `& F( [ z1 C9 g0 Y
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" P% [. R/ V- c/ l: s) ?& E$ ?1 s0 ~; F+ i8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: U I6 l) |7 `( Y$ H, D) ^5 m, L% Y
the same road.( h% b: g6 Q. p6 J& T6 y/ W
2 X8 _: m" }1 \5 E9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, t: k. C) x j' `, w- J# W' d- d$ f
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 W/ m; z9 `* {# V: q$ @
activated."
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1 }* Z. e* r7 A8 C10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, y* C1 J, a7 J% t( g( Xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 u9 M6 J; l) a H% O( u0 Y' u uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 `$ U& Q& d+ v5 Q; U7 Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 K9 @/ K- R; `; U: N) V0 Q2 cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' J- Q0 V6 z+ e; A0 ], O, x, vvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
