 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
/ k, B r2 g6 Z) @9 l% E7 c/ O8 H4 |' V$ h
7 T6 Y) v& ] ^3 g+ A
/ `& X6 B8 c" o- u: Z( _ 1. Bring your own house. ]0 o: h# @" |$ A4 s
) |# o! z5 r# R 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! K! A- C8 Y/ f! E0 F% q
hospital.
c, Q/ G5 y1 n, W2 \
+ h2 b, l; a1 o, c2 [! A 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! s' v' \* c) h: |$ w1 B3 u4 g, l
capital of Canada .
5 P8 \% e; G4 I0 o& ~ E( b
! E9 E2 R5 F% T) I& h" W+ {6 X 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
/ f- L n5 P2 e: k4 p1 f1 w6 W: a( a! [
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: f' I2 L* T% l- B( p& b- l
capital of Canada .
; d% b. M1 e1 h. o4 _0 U# m1 ]& [9 k# O* M4 p& W" j1 G( q
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# N6 z0 W+ b- G( F. |1 b
$8.00/hour.7 z ]$ Y% V% k$ ]6 }
6 q; R/ o Q. H+ g) `7 P 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; ^1 r( N7 ]# T, ?9 m! ]
" s3 P. J2 i: M# f+ J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 M; r) G5 Z8 m( h) won a 15 year holiday ?
5 o, F/ u# F1 G6 S6 L2 \( ]8 X ^5 Z* d
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ b! R1 O- k5 A9 ?2 o8 `* K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& p- [4 ~4 b% P5 c2 z
2 m# ~/ E& `, T G2 b1 A
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" D2 y l4 \- `) C7 R) ^
here sick.- A) Y6 l7 W. U: L' @ D
4 E4 ^/ U& B2 i! o* B11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: t0 j" ~* K1 D9 T: v1 Q. z0 {
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
3 l7 o/ _1 ?' j3 \9 f
, [0 Q; z1 F8 W0 E7 U/ Y& o1 J6 r
! u _! w2 Q0 @* K1 \4 L
5 m4 c& h; r3 m, y2 H. B8 k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
6 P6 O2 r# e( l! }, ~
6 E4 o& K* ^5 @( f1 j( H( o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
* D9 X: N1 t$ D7 d% A; k* G$ H; F, q4 Z% K
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour v' s* {* [. p6 @; r% q M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
. Y# I3 A$ m8 `$ Q! @% i. g, {* Y( `# S+ W
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! |5 Y- s d! R1 m k2 I4 O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: [8 X0 E! H+ a( x0 ?
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% c! D! t* `/ ~, D9 l& H& [
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 a9 F1 V$ a* y% H- c3 y; ^, C/ |phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
' Q' I# c9 @ T1 R
; w0 }! ^! p. R4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, L5 b* _8 o( X j) z# n' G4 h3 wcussed out, and possibly shot.
q2 j1 S2 d# k( _1 H$ A6 @' U* A
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that. B5 F! T9 u) u0 T+ t0 W, r$ R' M
can get you shot.
, t {+ X. ?1 h* d8 Q$ ]& A0 h% L4 E
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, i. u4 U E2 l: _1 N! O5 a" C
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next v3 r4 b) i9 w" t8 x. z* H
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' y# k& D% d. {+ j/ d3 {, xmore construction starts everyday.
" J) ~ }# S$ {# T
% g" L& e& H0 L7 z3 W- u y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# z( Q0 n: y: ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% [) h. C3 Y( c8 U" Vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 }& k0 U8 X/ m8 A- N
2 o; s5 R" J: h- ?4 C
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! E& g8 J b0 \& {0 w" @# s( e' C
the same road.4 `% C' q6 t6 d5 v9 w
. a T! ]9 ^3 n4 h2 {* ]9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# j0 ]% c! `, w, Y7 e: {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
6 D$ G/ |3 B9 w3 b4 o2 Sactivated."
8 E! u8 w7 x5 u; L) s5 {1 B& B& m
$ I* i. E8 j6 x2 F7 P10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# \2 z" r( [+ F6 [; |* P! \ ]8 R( V2 ~( Z
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 W8 {; C# G4 |8 K+ b
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
: v' v& u. o6 i+ {
' _* s5 e; ]- m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, b R) c7 Y. \2 w$ g% ?4 u/ I& ~5 q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 k% j5 s+ a/ {( H& L0 Mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is4 H( q2 W5 `4 C
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
, D0 R* b2 d2 d* h0 D
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
* |3 f, m' T1 {+ g0 Z1 P
