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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# i4 R+ s8 G$ e. q
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1 q$ Q. V& g% f/ g. V 1. Bring your own house.
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" _3 O0 k4 Z7 c 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# x+ f0 h% [5 L7 ~6 V
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder ?; K1 d) ~2 H% ?$ d7 h. k
capital of Canada .' }- T/ y3 f% D$ s) ~; W
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 N% f: ~" ^, }% L; U
* X, c, f, q& G$ f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
& P$ q! c( M0 {/ Y" Z ycapital of Canada .2 @6 t2 P" m; B. l6 A" F
* r; ~8 w. C; L1 U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 C' \9 C3 D, C j% ^9 f
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; y1 M8 p4 w5 M
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# k3 [) r' P2 x2 r. \" k5 Y. a
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come8 @5 t' \5 n2 ]) A
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ W8 _. \) x Z3 `- W! P: ]
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 r) |( Z7 v* O$ z6 P* S8 e9 D
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ {# c( B4 l+ m: U
& m. {# [( W `# q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# A( k6 h4 }0 N3 Q: A$ [6 Y) {
# I$ l* n3 J8 h# Y# b2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 C# v$ O! @: x) h1 I7 P2 x3 dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 D$ I- s, m5 l
6 @ r1 \6 E$ @' Q: d# K3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 a. X" d/ m* p. X x0 l) iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 a+ k4 R/ Z, v! B o- Pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 h J3 A; W8 v
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell$ x; [. {% ~7 Q: u8 V& Z9 H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 J5 O- q& b6 k& ~, i4 X& B
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; j) x$ r. K, k: |" }
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( O# I! T- k1 }7 @, `5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that H% L& }1 K$ v1 i$ O3 q
can get you shot.; @/ d/ q6 o# Y( C" S" E, f Q9 \8 U
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! i2 b( c6 I+ Rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ W N/ Z6 ^- U% N1 U" V: ~% Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' A7 @- g( w, A4 f0 z
more construction starts everyday.
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0 v4 A8 `/ G0 ~7 X h 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," K2 U0 K& z* [
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 y5 I4 q, ]- t; p2 F- O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." z2 y3 g7 f0 ^3 t$ w6 {; y5 o
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 B' p6 ?6 W6 |9 F& p- A* H. d
the same road.% l" t8 R e! X# ]4 F, |6 {
j9 f4 c5 G; t" t( v9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' s0 O8 D) r2 i: e! R: V& a+ zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
- }( Y0 n; h/ A) xactivated."
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' q! R3 S/ \6 _$ B/ w2 i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 x( f. f& a1 k! ^' Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 f$ Z r$ L; D3 `% k# M7 C S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 B3 N6 Y, Q$ l1 p; m
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 F, Z+ K+ C w0 w! N9 p
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is4 z( h( V+ g& B: n% S
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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