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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.7 A# G) E# E4 o6 C D" b3 p
& J7 ]0 S' {) Y: {5 e4 v 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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, N4 u9 D+ r$ X1 Y9 n 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( L. \0 c5 s$ ]' m. v0 u2 O% `
capital of Canada .
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! [ W4 B; i/ d, v2 [8 }" I& ~" w 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 O9 B/ e( g: W3 Z0 V
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 r' L3 `* k" i% d( I2 w
capital of Canada .# F$ f. R3 a V/ a) s
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ h' ~2 D' n; s/ H! C
$8.00/hour.& a; |' V: d: |
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) C4 W5 Z8 ~9 A" A {) g
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 W4 c$ e% X& l/ ~$ \. {on a 15 year holiday ?
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: }! |0 ^, q7 ?. i 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 U/ G* K7 C- A7 H4 d6 p6 q
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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6 ~3 y1 r, V( ]5 W10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 ^/ s" M; @) c; E0 t& xhere sick.2 m% f& m7 i. F, U$ L8 Y; `
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 x0 S' R; {6 syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! ? b3 g# M2 M% N: e
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5 T, A. u) z# ?8 z" A: X THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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" C. b4 @6 g3 N' o$ Z% t+ l1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".5 L- J/ e8 z4 f! {2 ]
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 y8 B7 v, e/ X! Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 z4 I2 }2 \/ }6 {+ f A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: I4 ~/ a* L6 [9 ~
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, Y e: ~0 |2 y# C% H2 dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* n0 Q& C1 _0 _8 h4 g
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 R, v+ _: H" M' G& J% b" [) _
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 q% {8 g0 y4 f
$ {4 F3 Z$ E3 q; H) s& ?0 T& z+ o5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 f7 h* A/ w7 A6 G
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 E2 V! [: n4 \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next o; [5 c% Y" o- n, |
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 K2 ~- P4 N. T; o& ~. m* gmore construction starts everyday.' C; M% Z- f+ q; a
, p2 P, z6 _& N 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& R7 U0 f c1 C2 [) ]9 z8 Q, P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 m% s0 e6 M4 b `! R6 r6 M
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 t9 ~ i) i5 j+ J3 A& V; s( @* @8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) D2 j! p1 _1 i/ w) a- r+ U7 Z; f9 }the same road.
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& N) [" H7 ]1 h% S: l+ F9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 m0 y. Y( M. a' E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 L/ n- b3 R5 D( d- U: B
activated."
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O2 m* `- P- `5 V2 F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" z7 w. [3 d5 W$ O) v' ~ b" |zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 g+ `5 ~6 Q# V( P/ J$ Y* W7 `accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 g' |. D9 y, H* `3 I; Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, L3 B6 l3 E* ^" X6 o/ Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ U* d B& T$ j( w$ P$ c: f
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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