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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' p" _( u; b/ C) \: ~
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+ m$ R; ~) R! _9 b b 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% {* ]$ [. {3 X
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& F( D5 ?+ s5 G% g) H1 W$ vcapital of Canada .; e8 t6 o/ j! A# W: j
3 Y7 _* B/ q- R" t5 N m k& ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) Z2 Y% a0 ]# @* C8 h- \capital of Canada .7 G* ~8 _% M( }" @4 c$ k
2 G7 K1 P9 h1 G: X4 T S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is3 Q; b: u; U: }* J7 ~/ e; O/ s
$8.00/hour. I4 S3 a/ @: D
4 N* Y" ~3 A0 \3 `) j, E" c9 Q! v 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 V! x: y6 K. P3 r' B$ g% B
) y `1 o8 }! \3 q. V' B 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; q/ _) d# z8 o; Y2 Q( p, v
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas$ f4 T* e. K/ j1 G# q
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); E# \, u9 W9 K6 j. Q: ^" u
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 E! V6 P# ]- W, ~& Q/ X) `here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" s+ V: A2 M4 ]$ Q" hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; `5 J3 D B( |. ~" D: k
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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; f" H; U6 h! _& G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: Z( B: {, Y- g4 e7 k. R' n. f/ mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% w( v% z7 M, a" u, C* a% s. C
3 |+ S3 Q+ l0 M5 K) O7 Q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: Y1 d& {( S S# b" m I9 R5 }* O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( A9 n) u, e) o' W: f" M* j4 f/ u) p
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 R9 [, @, {# q% [! d7 ?9 ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
6 w4 p/ X1 V b" s5 u- nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( f0 d" f* F# z# S) {
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. L, P9 V! Y' U% ]7 Q- h1 K; q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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, h9 R& D8 o8 ]5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that c0 m$ k1 K7 T) l! s* i- J0 R! Q% r: \
can get you shot.% p6 W* T7 s6 B
) J6 B5 L/ y1 t8 s5 k6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 e4 `8 R0 `& ]' S0 wbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 H3 l+ l/ U8 S
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 H- A7 \2 z) v1 g
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; `% i( P* Z- h2 `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 \4 } l) }8 N! {squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 s' B/ y6 W1 b$ Z/ k, {( M
+ K: W {- {, o7 k8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& b- }2 l* |. H4 \/ b5 K# w* B
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ \" b6 Y# h. Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" W% `3 w. S9 Xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 i) |; V) x8 M6 a1 s: F5 Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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; q9 c! a$ k4 E: g3 |: {+ e* m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 u5 [, l( r6 W' N! h- alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% [, X. ^4 V o6 Ublankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 c4 j* y: D8 N9 Z. B7 yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
