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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.7 R/ O) E! Z. _$ Y% y
6 H* Y3 K: T9 k7 ~5 C- K* s, E 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 Z+ X `" Q7 k* y, z* ^: {" N8 l
hospital.% D# \% |4 T6 T4 A! Q8 i. w
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ n' {1 {- o! `
capital of Canada .+ p& j" \+ d! S9 g4 w: N# ]* |, P! M
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. W1 g! i! G& q3 ~
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ K: L0 v# n, G L1 T& j# E- J# R7 Pcapital of Canada .4 K0 ] y2 x1 V7 f" F9 X
4 ^0 \; g6 x& F( P1 T, w& Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 [: e* | G, B& x$8.00/hour.1 g# D" T$ }7 q7 Z9 R B" I
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 N+ K# u! c# k9 t! y8 O3 Y# l 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: R8 W, P& W* ^- h
on a 15 year holiday ?9 _: Q9 f# d8 M0 f3 x4 i0 f! B
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 Q/ k/ a( t$ _2 o( d: Z$ bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& N. E4 `4 E7 t3 F7 c4 a
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- w5 N( b- ^4 zhere sick.$ r* H0 D' ^6 P( B: [7 y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 l& r% _* I- N" t# ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( W5 v2 x, j: n
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9 Q9 E- B6 i9 v' S7 j' s! v THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- E+ B1 {1 i0 D! g+ a0 [' Q
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- K6 H* @6 q1 T, n* d. U- f# vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 r- f/ n- _) k$ s G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 }" O# M* ^ u0 H' o: o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% b+ G- T& C2 K. v( L0 b
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' g! `3 I, i+ k3 ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* ~- I/ Y$ y1 [) f. R6 V8 j6 kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) B) {' U5 w. Q2 g; K6 |9 l4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. N( C" V2 B7 B+ g( x7 Gcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 X2 f' d% N" K) J* Z
can get you shot.8 `2 o3 f5 h. ] X( Y: y
, O3 R$ r* R8 ?0 l" F8 L2 s% v. z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' \3 B% G- k5 P4 V, i7 H" Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 [$ g4 j3 }; rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" \$ ?5 _/ l" s( H
more construction starts everyday.$ R5 [8 w4 H! v
% P2 y1 y5 _9 |; B$ a. ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 C4 ]. u6 p4 q) n3 f5 l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 v1 A3 U( [' T- A5 {squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 \9 d+ T6 U5 z& E0 H$ Xthe same road.
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. I1 {3 b. H7 |" G0 L9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ F$ N! `. g% I$ w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 Z5 t6 A; o2 }zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") J7 [5 k9 b7 o* j4 q+ L( e
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 H9 \- W* J! j: c3 _# C$ b8 w) vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* K& m9 x1 x* W) y A* i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
7 {9 U- E6 s Qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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