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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA5 Y1 F' I( o0 g
( u$ |( D" t* J8 W9 v. r. g1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
% h+ @; o# l4 v2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 4 ^. p, V1 h5 L% l1 u4 I
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. ( h2 V6 `1 d- S) b% n! I, v" P
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. & P1 M5 {8 v* D/ D2 {
2. Ottawa who?1 e( U, S, F* o
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 0 I, A( {) t9 ]
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 5 e$ y1 _. M' C
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
) o9 }; Y2 ~- [ @) M9 z6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 6 @+ o5 P v% d+ I/ F8 u
7 O/ n3 H( }) d+ t" s' K1. You never run out of wheat.
" p. V0 ?7 F0 `6 _& g! S2. Your province is really easy to draw.
e6 K; V/ X5 N9 Y; R' y1 \8 r3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
* l! _$ y8 c [7 E4. People will assume you live on a farm. 6 p$ R. }; V1 ]8 b+ c) r( ^% f
& B, [% T( l6 n$ STOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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+ A# o$ h: {7 w( E1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. : A# g4 t) n: T1 g7 M
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3 D9 t2 R* [* G/ l6 |' `. F3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
% |+ E0 `; s" s1 j) D4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. & R# [) b3 J* V9 V
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. - y% k+ W; D6 B2 ]2 I
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
5 V4 K% R! Y- g1 @, |2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
+ S3 c+ s5 |/ K$ }: h% Z3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 3 o% N/ f1 t9 e& Y4 j
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ( v1 k$ w' u2 x w: V
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; ^/ P9 M& a8 \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 5 }( p( r! p' ^7 n
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 3 j5 N, ~& L( {) {9 b- `
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 1 v4 r8 {' w$ t
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *+ T4 W0 h8 Y7 [1 o/ V
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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; e2 d! J8 a1 r j1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 9 u5 N' v+ p* X0 s
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
* f. [ Y/ o o2 Q3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
! y( q" i3 }1 R. B- D4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 5 L' Q7 T1 f- |4 _+ ~3 z1 m' q
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5 l' D0 R) R8 c% i! \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 0 a8 N8 a$ n8 }$ m% u
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
5 Q8 L# z8 { t( e# N9 J. a2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ( G; y j4 O+ e/ E" i
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. * Y$ X: z r9 N, w* ~- w
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& A9 e, [* G! ?' p$ C. o. |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ( F8 d9 b# x; C( l; f
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
& @4 _7 X( b' p" n2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. & h- u2 V. |% R
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
: F4 }, O2 f8 `) D4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
% ~# T, U7 z1 o5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
( ^2 A* C% G0 \( H6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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6 d9 H- _; Q) I4 x6 [( YTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 5 ~+ e2 Y4 }; I
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 4 a& l- r- M! B3 j% Q! L. R; W
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
$ U+ p0 U n' Z: F4 r3. The workday is about two hours long.
8 W8 ^! x4 l- H4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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