 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Originally posted by shuishijie at 2005-6-24 12:15 PM:
& R. I7 E/ A) Z% c# P7 Y5 bi sense a little tension here ; I/ {8 d9 @2 M4 j( f
sorry, i didn't mean you by 'you' which is a general reference.' F9 b3 `3 j' p, w q7 L
back to our discussion, you are absolutely right.
! _- W0 Q) O0 V- t. pif she/he 有那金刚钻, ie. intelligence and self-control, then she/he 就能揽这瓷器活儿.
* r+ }: N- T5 {# s0 c8 d T5 K( d6 m1 HFurthermore, if she/he cheated and is able to hide it for the rest of her/his life, then she/he has to bear with the guilty for the rest of her/his life.
9 H% D' A! L; s9 e# B* {If both cheated and can face it very well, then both of them will be worried if the other will cheat again.
; R3 D0 k& [) l0 O) _" dIf both are not worried about the other cheating, then is this a marriage you want?
/ d" k8 S* l* d5 O5 ?& Y C9 X% yNot mean you here 0 `9 h& l$ {" L, ?" I+ J
, x1 d8 o" a+ ^ } s% l+ o没有没有,没有任何敌意, 随便聊天。
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其实我只是说一种可能性,并没有道德评价,或者人身安插。% R! P6 E+ X# }; V* Y B8 ?7 U
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你后面的三种情形,不同的人,不同的情商,不同的原则,处理情况也不同,有的一样可以花好月圆,有的则是一团乱麻。所以我说的“金刚钻“的比喻,是说没有大家都搞定的本事(搞定情人老婆劳工和自己),就别冒险。
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比如前几天看到杂志里谈到“处理婚外恋“说得好,向你的伴侣坦白之前,先想一想,如果你只是想摆脱guilty感觉,那么向伴侣坦白,等于把自己的负担转移给你的伴侣而已,对你的婚姻毫无好处,那么不如跟心理医生讲述。除非这次婚外行为有性疾病的可能,你需要带你的伴侣去就医。所以还是说呢, if you can not take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
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我本人对夫妻远距离生存,各找临时情人,是持理解通融的态度的。我并不羡慕那些多年分离还守身如玉的夫妻。当然我也崇尚夫妻的忠诚,所以我更希望的是常相厮守。 |
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