In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
0 |; A( `2 k5 g
2 ^% W7 S; n6 R$ e3 @9 [, `In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
3 s# h# l4 l8 Y4 R. EFrom sunset til dawn
5 G3 {& l; ^0 K2 Q0 t. sThrough darkness to light
8 I9 @2 p9 F0 d" Q7 ENourished with my soul
  L5 ?( U2 V4 V6 s) o% B4 D, _9 _( aDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
2 [9 N( o8 `3 @You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
0 z8 ~! Q1 X5 `May promises fade in the sea
5 Q1 S" [" l8 p8 S" g5 j  tSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
8 o6 o& L3 H. G$ N8 V
: c; e. ]* S( u5 L# z! o[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
. }9 V3 J( H+ T! A( I! W听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
) |+ o) C  C, S% t
0 R# |% ?- N  M, I/ y$ zIn the garden of my heart
0 e3 {  U# u, D# F0 BYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
7 q( X0 C: U( b; ]8 nNourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

  w  o$ S6 a9 e; }6 z+ _
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。
3 `5 N# n9 c& x) f" s4 `
加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
" p5 v# m, @2 r' n写得真好。
加精加精！

$ v, z. t  x$ f" b, G我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
$ _2 I: {. s; k如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

8 ?9 K7 o9 L+ X9 r7 q$ ~五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
) C- E& I# C0 n) H
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
0 l$ K7 o; t3 N. P. |5 wShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

$ f$ N# q0 q+ j
( E6 D( L! P: q, ], ?" t7 r5 n" iThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

. R$ X$ E+ i. @* [5 u4 }/ S1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
5 e& j. N9 L& U4 X- f. M" r
7 q7 o9 h  p5 v+ Y. Y+ ~& p- P! R2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
# H! i* ~: p: L3 Bthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
: G* p% }; ?+ ~- ^* W. M7 ~2 y/ B
# ]4 J1 O2 G; c( fShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
- V& `& F9 r* s4 h) k6 R. W' G. U" uthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

- O* G( C  [7 v' f; V6 C5 e( eShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

* u7 n6 N$ E8 i- U" i3 _
有啊，有很多经典的例子。

3 X7 b* `9 `0 H- w- ~5 S+ W  h比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

$ J3 e! c3 Y; |Don't weep at my grave
0 k3 x* d4 O* r* b! PFor I am not there,
5 Q3 A8 r1 h" G4 j" R' l4 nI've a date with a butterfly
! q5 v4 Q+ u) n8 f" ITo dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

9 P; p! h' u+ h6 ~- J$ g) `7 P6 LDon't be sad
+ E% u4 B$ U0 w0 C! O* eWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
2 b5 Q3 j" z- d' l( EFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
; w8 e1 Z/ v. H( B+ H5 XTime and again,
4 f' \8 ?. [1 v! T' t6 m& x! kSoaring with the eagle,
' f& c2 _$ P. oSwimming in the sea,
# Z: I# K0 p( D- `) BEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.