三思等高人啊，请求急帮忙。。谢谢。

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 12:46

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 13:53 编辑

呼喊三思等高手，谁能帮着改一下。。谢谢。。。送花一百朵。。。
In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea of the impact of Aids on Thailand that provides a causal connection to poverty. To engage the reader, Rhodes presents a very detailed description of sex workers’ lives at Thailand. The stories are organized in different backgrounds that feels like a journey of spiritual and physical. According to Rhodes, sex workers are mostly from the destitute family in rural areas of Thailand; they sell their sex for supporting their families to have a better life in the future. Rhodes portrays vividly concrete pictures of sex workers that ignorance of HIV brands into readers’ consciousnesses. As well ,he points out that sex workers are the highest risk of HIV; on the other hand , poverty is the primary cause of Aids widespread in Thailand. He brings to a close by the conflicts between Thailand’s economic going down and the death rate of HIV increasing. The underlying theme of his stories is to give us readers an objective reason to demonstrate his argument that poverty effects HIV prevention in the development Thailand that sums up why I intend to use this source to support my argument: poverty is the major obstacle to prevention of Aids.

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 13:01

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 14:02 编辑

后面还有。。。。磕头了。。。。是不是很驴唇不对马嘴啊。。。。一个晚上憋出来的。。。一晚没睡。看了长达十几页的报告，写出个这么个鸟玩意。。。和他面相了很久，找不出什么错误，因为本身就是错误。希望大家能够看到我的不足，帮我改正。谢谢。。。。吉普车，，，你给我出来纠错。。。。。。纠者远有花啊。。我欠纠正啊。。。。。

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 13:17

个性小西红柿 · 发表于 2011-11-1 19:34

In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea that the impact of AIDS in Thailand provides a causal connection (really? If you are poor you will get AIDS? Is not it more likely that is lack of education about the cause of AIDS that causes the spread?) to poverty. To engage the reader, Rhodes presents a very detailed description of sex trade workers’ lives in Thailand. The stories are organized in different backgrounds that feels like a journey of spiritual and physical (does not make sense. “feels like” is not very formal English in writing. Suggestion: the stories are organized in such a fasion that the reader feels like he or she is being led through a journey that encompasses both the spiritual and physical realm). According to Rhodes, sex trade workers are mostly from the destitute families in rural areas of Thailand, selling their sexuality in order to support their families and to have a better life in the future. Rhodes portrays vividly concrete pictures of sex workers that ignorance of HIV brands into readers’ consciousnesses (no idea what you are talking about).

你能把你想说的中文意思说一下吧,我能明白大部分你想表达的意思``````

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 20:20

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 21:25 编辑

In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea that the impact of AIDS in Thailand provides a causal connection (really? If you are poor you will get AIDS? Is not it more likely that is lack of e ...' J9 H. e3 P- e" \$ M1 u
个性小西红柿发表于 2011-11-1 20:34

这是一篇长达二十篇的文章的总结。大概意思是贫穷阻碍了爱滋病的防御。不能抄。所以我自己编了。打了你的电话，你老公让我等，结果等了几天没见你打回来。气死我了。哈哈。

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 20:25

In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea that the impact of AIDS in Thailand provides a causal connection (really? If you are poor you will get AIDS? Is not it more likely that is lack of e ... l3 \- a3 F8 O# {
个性小西红柿发表于 2011-11-1 20:34

我不知道怎么翻译。。。哈哈。

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 20:36

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 21:44 编辑

大概是

作者揭示了一个深远的观念在泰国的爱滋病冲击下提供了一个贫穷导致爱滋病的因果关系。
我写的主题就是贫穷和爱滋病。 The stories are organized in different backgrounds that feels like a journey of spiritual and physical (does not make sense. “feels like” is not very formal English in writing. Suggestion: the stories are organized in such a fasion that the reader feels like he or she is being led through a journey that encompasses both the spiritual and physical realm
这里是一些泰国的色情场所的归纳。作者写的很真实但让人痛苦。做为一个观看色情的人的就象经历了一场肉体和精神的旅途。因为泰国是色情旅游。i like your ideas ..very good...thanks a lot.....

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 20:54

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 21:55 编辑

Rhodes portrays vividly concrete pictures of sex workers that ignorance of HIV brands into readers’ consciousnesses 我想说----他对色情工作人员对爱滋病的愚昧无知的栩栩如生描绘画面深深的印在读者的意识中。

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 21:41

本帖最后由珠圆玉润于 2011-11-1 22:58 编辑

重新改了一下。。。In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea about the impact of Aids on Thailand, which provides a causal connection to poverty. To engage the readers, Rhodes presents a very detailed description of sex workers’ lives at Thailand. The stories are organized in the different backgrounds. According to Rhodes, sex workers are mostly from the destitute family in rural areas of Thailand; they sell their sex for supporting their families to have a better life in the future. Rhodes portrays vividly pictures of sex workers who ignore HIV brands into the readers’ consciousnesses. Moreover, he points out that sex workers are the highest risk of HIV; on the other hand , poverty is the primary cause of Aids being widespread in Thailand. He brings up a conclusion by the conflicts between Thailand’s economic going down and the death rate of HIV increasing. The underlying theme of his stories is to give readers an objective reason to demonstrate his argument that poverty effects HIV prevention in the development of Thailand, which sums up why I intend to use this source to support my argument: poverty is the major obstacle to prevention of Aids.
看了一次觉的很多没分开的句子粘在一起。改了一下。。。大家在帮助看看。还有缺点不。。。谢谢。需要帮助的时候，人都凉快了不是。。哈哈。。真让我难受。还是我们小西红柿热乎。只是她不明白我写的什么乱七八糟的东西。哈哈。。。还帮着我锦上添花。可是我说的不是那种美好感觉。。我也不知道怎么翻译。。。就是瞎写。。。真让人等的头痛。在也不问了。

一剑倚天寒 · 发表于 2011-11-1 22:17

我一直不明白的是珠圆玉润是指你的外貌呢还是指性格呢

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 22:23

我一直不明白的是珠圆玉润是指你的外貌呢还是指性格呢
) W3 C. n$ b' d$ m一剑倚天寒发表于 2011-11-1 23:17

是指我肥。这还不明白。

一剑倚天寒 · 发表于 2011-11-1 22:25

是指我肥。这还不明白。
8 h, z: N+ U, O3 z2 G珠圆玉润发表于 2011-11-1 23:23

你也太坦白了吧

珠圆玉润 · 发表于 2011-11-1 22:37

你也太坦白了吧
. h6 c) d6 j: H一剑倚天寒发表于 2011-11-1 23:25

我四十多了，还有啥可装的。

flyingpig · 发表于 2011-11-4 09:54

本帖最后由 flyingpig 于 2011-11-4 10:57 编辑

In this article, Rhodes states the impact of HIV/AIDS in Thailand, and the relationship between AIDS and poverty. Rhodes presents a very detailed description of sex workers’ lives in Thailand. The stories are organized in the different threads.

flyingpig · 发表于 2011-11-4 09:57

本帖最后由 flyingpig 于 2011-11-4 11:13 编辑

Moreover, he points out that sex workers are of the high risk of HIV; on the other hand, poverty may be one of the factors which contribute to HIV/AIDS prevailing in Thailand. He found the poor economy underwent has impact on HIV/AIDS morality. The implication of this article is to demonstrate poverty affects HIV/AIDS prevention in Thailand.

flyingpig · 发表于 2011-11-4 10:24

我不是高人，在此献丑。

健康营养站 · 发表于 2011-11-5 08:38

我四十多了，还有啥可装的。% o6 u8 X! V) v% F. ]: [. M5 l4 i0 M
珠圆玉润发表于 2011-11-1 23:37

爽快人

keke · 发表于 2011-11-5 19:03

我四十多了，还有啥可装的。 g6 m! C( k8 E. t) A9 v2 D+ u ~5 g
珠圆玉润发表于 2011-11-1 23:37

Crisis · 发表于 2011-11-7 21:41

本帖最后由 Crisis 于 2011-11-7 21:44 编辑

(for your reference)

In this article, Rhodes revealed a connection of the poverty to the Aids through a series of stories about sex workers in Thailand, which were happening in different situations. According to Rhodes, sex workers mostly came from destitute families in rural Thailand. They traded their sex in order for their families to live better lives in future. Rhodes vividly portrayed their life pictures in the book. These sex workers had highest risks on HIV but ignored this deadly disease. On the other hand, Rhodes pointed out that poverty was a root cause of Aids being widely spread in Thailand. He brought up this conclusion by correlating the down-turn economy to the up-growing death rate suffering from HIV in Thailand. All of the stories in his book led readers to think deeply on whether there was a coherent connection between the poverty and the widespread HIV in Thailand and to make the same conclusion as him. After reading this book, I strongly believe that poverty is obviously a major obstacle to the Aids prevention, which turned out why I tended to use this article to support my idea.

Crisis · 发表于 2011-11-7 21:48

By the way, it is better to use past tense to describe something unless there are special reasons for you to use present tense.

I've helped you change it.

However, I am a kind of tight in time. Please try to modify it and make more decorations. :lol:

niceboat · 发表于 2012-7-12 21:09

In this article, Rhodes reveals a far reaching idea on the connection between poverty and the impact of Aids in Thailand. Rhodes presents a very detailed description of sex workers’ lives in Thailand. According to Rhodes, sex workers are mostly from the destitute family in rural areas of Thailand; they engage in prostitution in order to support their families, to provide a better life for the future generation(这一行业要进去就出不来，TA们不可能有better live，后代有可能）. Rhodes vividly portrays a concrete picture of sex workers' life. These sex workers have the highest risk of being infected by HIV. Poverty is the root cause of widespread Aids in Thailand. This conclusion is based on Rhodes' analysis on the relationship between death rate of HIV and Thailand economic downturn. The underlying theme of his stories allows readers to think deeply on the effects of poverty and HIV prevention in Thailand. I strongly believe that poverty is the major obstacle to prevention of Aids; therefore, I choose this article to be one of my arguements.

楼上说的好像不对。如果单指书本中的东西，那么就用现在时，因为任何时候翻开书那东西都是那样，而不是昨天看的，今天再翻开就变样了。很多老师都是这样说，当然用过去式也可以，但是不要混了时态。

DELTA · 发表于 2012-7-13 08:22

本帖最后由 DELTA 于 2012-7-13 09:25 编辑

LZ很有个性的女人。
喜欢热情的珠圆玉润
希望看到你的新作（中文).
向你学习，提高英语。

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三思等高人啊，请求急帮忙。。谢谢。

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