 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
" M1 D; B; e: `2 k, F4 V" E请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
8 r/ p6 Q- c9 A
) d8 ?. C% Y$ U) p1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
7 G, g/ B R- ~1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
4 L- p" F D% f2 [# y; A% L" `/ c4 A5 H7 w" ^5 r8 L* _# V/ m
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
* m" z% @+ Z6 f% K- R* y' k& [down.
1 W/ K8 u- M2 HWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
- T; E' k' r/ {3 lyou* X% c$ v' l' g7 l' k9 J8 \
leaving it down.: C* \' X$ ?7 o8 p! b2 z
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
! k9 E5 b7 e6 a+ k3 A( @3 L+ J1 q1 L3 D1 M% w* e# h1 s0 y
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.0 [- x2 [+ z' B$ r& F9 Y
Let it be.
! d) y6 f/ O0 g) p& E- k1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
# H2 a2 q) Q4 A, c, d" b# u1 \* N1 p* {, Q( S# |' X& d6 ~
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
' U, Z+ [' E/ }8 X$ p+ `3 G; [+ bthat way.1 L4 g/ j2 u; S+ Q1 v! i0 J
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!" C# S% q) p5 ?- ]
$ F& }" |' `6 S# o% i7 Q3 b) h1. Crying is blackmail.) a( o: n6 T' u J- R( B$ Y3 y
1,哭泣是敲诈
( S( k' ?. _& y' ^9 p' V: Y4 h: a0 X" ?. c0 q+ v% ~
1. Ask for what you want.
d3 B G0 O6 h4 e3 e2 F/ i+ ELet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
: @4 X$ x& p: F! k/ _- SStrong hints do not work!
; H& S0 G# ?6 A6 B" H5 d9 ?Obvious hints do not work!
; b4 H9 _: o& {" r) m: y* qJust say it!5 y3 }/ h% o% n
1,你想要什么就说
" _+ Z" h6 J0 m1 Y" q& x- |我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
I$ A, M9 |- {5 q, `* B, Y6 [' w6 m- S% ?2 ^; L
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every " v C( B! X* U7 A
question.
- \" A1 `. a! d" Q4 I5 P0 F* R4 P1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)6 N% ]- l" x% p
5 _( T+ X9 g8 t0 ^" A- e1 I
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's6 X! H f9 i7 r& B5 [
what we do.
9 R: J% ^0 F& s: _- ~. XSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) @3 `# [) t" p' C
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。" P% K. }8 `9 |
3 v# l- X7 r$ h/ L' Z
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
' R9 U% L {+ O1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
) Y8 a0 g# h% A9 ?6 g+ u& P
( Q, {4 b2 O" r( _! m# r" e1 l; `1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
0 m7 }: U1 M; ]* X+ u, ?" yIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
, D, P) l: j( Q6 G3 q# x" h我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
5 Y( F$ r" D! D+ J1 ~- I7 _8 }1 k# ~( o! o3 i5 f) {' ]
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us: ]" z0 o' S7 R3 u' X' `. t; v8 [
to act like soap opera guys.
* ~( {' W0 M2 N1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们7 z b. E" S" w# q) M F8 B3 T+ f. \
; ^- }$ t8 F6 t3 f5 b( n
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.& b7 N4 C2 I2 b5 F; H: _
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们' X8 R0 |) k# J/ R
2 ~1 {" p+ g; a* \6 G1 C
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
0 K8 X) n5 X/ D3 j& ^0 Kmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.7 l8 | Y9 y, U/ _3 {; X! @
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
, ?: `7 x8 H1 a9 _: a" B x6 p, P. V( q: w
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)+ p8 {& `* P+ J3 s3 s/ G
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
2 j" m& W3 x: y! C6 gdone. Not both.
9 L7 L& g8 X6 A+ `0 DIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
# y6 i/ y& `5 {& Y! \1 h
+ Y' s E8 g* Y1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
, _ W% q! J9 Icommercials. e0 O4 `( |( h8 q
0 G% z3 i7 V. ?% b" _5 a
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.* o0 }7 T/ g, \% e6 K* q
% |- f, ]5 D) d$ Q# _5 A& q8 s# _3 A+ z1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.2 q( l) R; f3 P9 Y9 r' ?
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
- W3 F% }9 |, r+ ]: bWe have no idea what mauve is.5 D% `1 \) ?( t5 ?0 x- `
" n! [! U$ A) j7 Z+ ^! I1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.+ N" V7 O* b5 V) V
) b( T3 F& r9 o1 S1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
8 n7 U, ^5 m# p$ j3 ~1 Mnothing's wrong.
- e# r6 E# \3 qWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1 Q: [' ` p0 s, Y; j9 W" O
: J8 w, A* Y8 q: O& L. k9 X0 F# P
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
9 k R3 Y4 x" Q6 gyou don't want to hear.
8 t$ S8 I; o3 E) O
3 h. a0 e4 v1 g6 N7 f% y9 M1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
' v4 v* p9 B5 R) o( d( wfine...Really. w$ y! f) t0 l: s0 R. `4 u6 C
}; L2 k5 u; o7 f
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
: B1 y6 ?& y$ @; bdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
2 C4 @4 ^# a- a2 b5 Q5 M4 @8 J* t4 {* e; K; f! J8 |
1. You have enough clothes.
, r% V: s) w, |: F3 L4 B% v
4 t$ j0 f7 r' M7 D0 C, O$ l9 j- E1. You have too many shoes.* g, Q7 x8 F( P# S" a
) w8 i+ f* q( z1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!2 o" C5 |5 g3 z9 u3 Q4 t
Z3 B# _. G# K5 m2 v' u$ S
1. Thank you for reading this.# D. x: o N( l* p
' ?$ d/ M, S8 q3 t' g. OYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
) v6 b! l9 Z" D1 g' n( v+ LBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.. `) H( B8 _, P* P0 o
1 e+ ?& p& e/ N+ C) M4 w& J5 D
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
1 K1 ^! q9 _- [) LPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|