 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!/ }- E$ v& C2 Y. M3 Q
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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, _) b- ~5 ~7 D: l1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. Q$ ?3 u u, _9 m0 Z* y
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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- ~5 W" {. e- J4 Q1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it. M1 O" |( w* K5 r$ }5 u
down.
7 n6 Y: H. p( D8 z& }We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
/ t( e1 Z) O* |6 r, Oyou
/ W& ?8 w% x7 rleaving it down., ]9 S- H9 ]4 h: d1 g i) {
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?& G. \1 S. o/ ~* V1 a4 L8 i: m
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
C7 P L( p& p$ YLet it be.
8 b! E/ Z: X! L$ f! e6 o) ?# ^1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it, c6 a2 v) ?$ m- ~
that way., k5 z( p Y# c' n
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!) x# R) t" t/ z& x) Z" _
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1. Crying is blackmail.
+ S4 y' b0 z! [6 ~; {6 r1,哭泣是敲诈
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: G' P. Z1 z6 v) j' o+ @1 J1. Ask for what you want.
3 Q$ c N2 U0 f8 XLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
5 h7 B1 V3 }; j/ @0 q2 _1 fStrong hints do not work!! I0 I; B, h* O- N4 |( H* o
Obvious hints do not work!" G; T" p- b- I) Z3 z" g; l
Just say it!1 o4 i/ U" K3 I7 H1 V8 B8 ~- d7 b
1,你想要什么就说 S- I: D4 p6 f* t2 h
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
, A7 q- F0 W1 Z$ lquestion.
- d0 o' R$ @) C: O* B" ]1 J& t* i1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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9 g9 F" p" J, ]$ d) x6 |1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
. _9 H+ B l( S5 u- _+ r' K& fwhat we do.
2 @) q2 a+ e0 N6 Y8 WSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
! `% x4 b$ V1 N/ V7 i1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.. _% C& l2 ~9 l8 U( O4 b9 O. g! K7 x7 F
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.( P! z. Y+ ^! g
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.- J( I6 ^2 \; g
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了* R) x8 U* T0 w& p" S) j
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us& N# f' e8 i" ]
to act like soap opera guys.
5 w5 N; F; C6 K# o7 c7 Q+ U7 `8 L1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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" l# ?. j' w! f5 ?4 }: w1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
4 W* I8 e% n0 k) Y# E0 k- q; N6 V1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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4 z- }) c2 {. m* A: m5 E# I1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways6 Q1 H. y- l0 t4 `7 k- e& F
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6 s" n: C* `1 j7 V9 D( ]" i1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。) M0 [8 D) o7 L" r5 ^& B
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢), n: @. |3 C( b7 `- @8 c/ b
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
& T9 X( |5 s' O8 l1 ddone. Not both.
7 R; ~8 M8 a, X9 kIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.; d m% S1 A% Z2 h2 b4 ^
* e$ {# F( ]3 A1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during7 e. O- E# R0 d0 \. d8 w
commercials.' j; |4 ]- P+ F5 J8 ~7 V9 ]
+ ^# X6 r0 |: v5 [0 C8 w1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings." O. V! s8 U% b: e* A& I
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
% u4 o2 B& T8 R5 d6 G, PWe have no idea what mauve is.9 C* t6 T+ v4 D+ y0 @
6 L7 A- X" D2 w1 J# g0 p- d1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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! ?8 P4 s4 T6 R, v! q2 L1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
* Y; n0 i, f$ y/ s& fnothing's wrong.3 d! y" C3 P5 e4 I$ |: t
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer0 Z0 ^9 k0 M$ }0 A
you don't want to hear.
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8 F% _ I- n5 Y, X6 ?# { Q1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is! E! Y. B; o* T1 F* R/ \8 _% u
fine...Really.- l! q3 R9 d( Q3 P g) b# o1 \
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to% w8 t' s$ ~7 |" t4 H
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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/ q/ x- D1 G0 N Q+ Y; r+ \1. You have enough clothes.
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8 ]6 M8 \( ]; I) A1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!/ J; W) E$ A5 t2 P8 I }" X# E2 B- z
* k) R1 x$ k1 |5 B; S% A0 [# W1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 g* w! n* G# ~; V5 p8 S: _But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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8 q3 @! W9 \' ^( ~: }Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. d" H$ E; |* ~" S
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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