 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!% D- ?& Q0 \! {
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
8 z$ H& ] O0 W1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫& s6 ?& {1 M) _: x+ S1 L
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
: l) T" B. I v6 D4 vdown.0 ?& x: y$ @3 ~- _. c3 E
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
$ v( R9 ?9 n! z5 Fyou- L; I; }% i: Z* t, x
leaving it down.2 K) Y; w. r2 X$ i. ^
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？5 Y% h# b' @6 ]: r- ^
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
9 f4 C9 x8 B6 b7 G. }Let it be.4 \3 M4 p# f) d; u9 `0 \/ c5 P+ }
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去% R8 M: e6 p; J, D" X/ W( B
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it. D' W# _+ ?) f; v9 [7 o! E9 H
that way.
! W+ [& n+ k( p! \$ v- ?1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！" J6 V# J, l# ]7 Q
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1. Crying is blackmail.0 I3 {5 _, J: i$ B% F
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
$ c9 k Q R, |' R9 P: M. A0 ^Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!) I6 d+ T1 R7 D; P: v
Strong hints do not work!
* k- H7 H$ [+ ?0 U! w5 {Obvious hints do not work!
/ I8 ~8 e& G1 y+ D) MJust say it!
9 Q' N( d5 @0 y/ S0 m2 S1，你想要什么就说
- j( H5 x2 b- I8 }7 a# o我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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6 m5 g _9 b9 E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 9 Y* V/ T- E* u; t; S% v+ U, {- @5 j. w
question.( g3 ^( c. ~% R2 t& C% g. u3 O
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）* f) h* L, x: ]# p7 \: h# z5 e
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's# A7 _- j) T0 d# s. I5 C
what we do.
7 o6 v) b* {' ySympathy is what your girlfriends are for.2 O" h/ {* ~7 s+ |
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。( J3 b2 ]# [% l$ ?% X5 M
' Y J+ C4 R8 @( u- `. {1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
+ w3 X2 _: P% m/ _# b1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去; z' p% P: K; D: {5 v
' H& B: H2 p1 g" g; d! g1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ S/ s+ N$ d! g$ g9 D- L" N& G1 XIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.4 R# z. {( p1 |0 w: m% R
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
$ q% f( \4 w% Z/ d3 O# V% ?to act like soap opera guys.
6 ]7 [8 N; S3 s, q; ~5 w3 v" ^+ r1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们& c* K1 O* i) P$ x/ E
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.+ U8 d/ U! M6 n9 ^& u7 Y5 F
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们2 d& y$ Y1 ?. v& X
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways# Y+ G8 u- m4 b, T
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
8 n3 b8 u8 Y2 O" c1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。( W6 b5 r$ y. x7 |1 S2 ?
! f" e9 y3 b6 V x（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
6 c- U4 i' v; V- {- Y! R$ ~1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
9 p3 ^* x. {" gdone. Not both.
5 t! [. ~3 B" O" q' OIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself./ s y5 b5 u o5 l
" y; P1 c- x: i: W1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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0 f0 w9 |5 `- s6 b9 \5 ?1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we., h3 \: _9 T* B4 x
1 w* L1 n. I& ]. w: _1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
9 C1 T1 K, z9 t1 _ o; L; S0 xPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.6 L# ^* B6 j4 L H: K
We have no idea what mauve is.. h' M' ]" v7 w; W$ g
- N% e" L0 c. a/ b9 a2 Z. m$ \, _1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.7 p. v4 L$ l8 X$ O8 f3 \
" ?0 V6 F* q- X7 }% x% v; q. A1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like# p; M* z% i* U! k. W
nothing's wrong.& K& O0 v1 k: ~4 {% I- t
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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' T7 F# m+ I/ h7 a1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer0 @: W1 z2 {; c
you don't want to hear.2 s3 g2 }1 |9 n! p j
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
6 @4 @* t# E/ h( t% ^fine...Really.
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0 I0 H: m" Z2 {+ U/ j& t5 f1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to3 x# C9 R9 p5 O* y1 R
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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9 g7 B* ~6 N; A; G( l1. You have enough clothes.
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! s, m/ g* L% }3 ] V' ]7 c! q& {1. You have too many shoes.7 }7 F& H" p, x" V
0 M6 c9 M2 z! Y$ ^& j( G1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!( {3 D! y2 P, \, a1 W: m
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1. Thank you for reading this. |# I6 Q+ s0 h# L1 K- D
, y% a. W6 Z. s; i9 e# }6 l( QYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;( W8 m- m7 k) g) U- p, G4 K
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
2 |1 |8 p. X- A% Q1 v( PPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
