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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!% D- ?& Q0 \! {
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
8 z$ H& ]  O0 W1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫& s6 ?& {1 M) _: x+ S1 L
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
: l) T" B. I  v6 D4 vdown.0 ?& x: y$ @3 ~- _. c3 E
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
$ v( R9 ?9 n! z5 Fyou- L; I; }% i: Z* t, x
leaving it down.2 K) Y; w. r2 X$ i. ^
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?5 Y% h# b' @6 ]: r- ^
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
9 f4 C9 x8 B6 b7 G. }Let it be.4 \3 M4 p# f) d; u9 `0 \/ c5 P+ }
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去% R8 M: e6 p; J, D" X/ W( B
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it. D' W# _+ ?) f; v9 [7 o! E9 H
that way.
! W+ [& n+ k( p! \$ v- ?1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!" J6 V# J, l# ]7 Q
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1. Crying is blackmail.0 I3 {5 _, J: i$ B% F
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
$ c9 k  Q  R, |' R9 P: M. A0 ^Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!) I6 d+ T1 R7 D; P: v
Strong hints do not work!
* k- H7 H$ [+ ?0 U! w5 {Obvious hints do not work!
/ I8 ~8 e& G1 y+ D) MJust say it!
9 Q' N( d5 @0 y/ S0 m2 S1,你想要什么就说
- j( H5 x2 b- I8 }7 a# o我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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6 m5 g  _9 b9 E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 9 Y* V/ T- E* u; t; S% v+ U, {- @5 j. w
question.( g3 ^( c. ~% R2 t& C% g. u3 O
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)* f) h* L, x: ]# p7 \: h# z5 e
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's# A7 _- j) T0 d# s. I5 C
what we do.
7 o6 v) b* {' ySympathy is what your girlfriends are for.2 O" h/ {* ~7 s+ |
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。( J3 b2 ]# [% l$ ?% X5 M

' Y  J+ C4 R8 @( u- `. {1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
+ w3 X2 _: P% m/ _# b1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去; z' p% P: K; D: {5 v

' H& B: H2 p1 g" g; d! g1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ S/ s+ N$ d! g$ g9 D- L" N& G1 XIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.4 R# z. {( p1 |0 w: m% R
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
$ q% f( \4 w% Z/ d3 O# V% ?to act like soap opera guys.
6 ]7 [8 N; S3 s, q; ~5 w3 v" ^+ r1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们& c* K1 O* i) P$ x/ E
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.+ U8 d/ U! M6 n9 ^& u7 Y5 F
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们2 d& y$ Y1 ?. v& X
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways# Y+ G8 u- m4 b, T
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
8 n3 b8 u8 Y2 O" c1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。( W6 b5 r$ y. x7 |1 S2 ?

! f" e9 y3 b6 V  x(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
6 c- U4 i' v; V- {- Y! R$ ~1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
9 p3 ^* x. {" gdone. Not both.
5 t! [. ~3 B" O" q' OIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself./ s  y5 b5 u  o5 l

" y; P1 c- x: i: W1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
2 p1 n# _: [' p; p1 z1 B. Ocommercials.
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0 f0 w9 |5 `- s6 b9 \5 ?1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we., h3 \: _9 T* B4 x

1 w* L1 n. I& ]. w: _1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
9 C1 T1 K, z9 t1 _  o; L; S0 xPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.6 L# ^* B6 j4 L  H: K
We have no idea what mauve is.. h' M' ]" v7 w; W$ g

- N% e" L0 c. a/ b9 a2 Z. m$ \, _1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.7 p. v4 L$ l8 X$ O8 f3 \

" ?0 V6 F* q- X7 }% x% v; q. A1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like# p; M* z% i* U! k. W
nothing's wrong.& K& O0 v1 k: ~4 {% I- t
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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' T7 F# m+ I/ h7 a1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer0 @: W1 z2 {; c
you don't want to hear.2 s3 g2 }1 |9 n! p  j
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
6 @4 @* t# E/ h( t% ^fine...Really.
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0 I0 H: m" Z2 {+ U/ j& t5 f1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to3 x# C9 R9 p5 O* y1 R
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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9 g7 B* ~6 N; A; G( l1. You have enough clothes.
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! s, m/ g* L% }3 ]  V' ]7 c! q& {1. You have too many shoes.7 }7 F& H" p, x" V

0 M6 c9 M2 z! Y$ ^& j( G1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!( {3 D! y2 P, \, a1 W: m
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1. Thank you for reading this.  |# I6 Q+ s0 h# L1 K- D

, y% a. W6 Z. s; i9 e# }6 l( QYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;( W8 m- m7 k) g) U- p, G4 K
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
2 |1 |8 p. X- A% Q1 v( PPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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6 W3 a; L& k2 R1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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/ m3 q6 t5 S% y9 Z3 G2 _4 J' I1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?& U  ?1 Y+ ~" }: b1 w

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
  d, H6 b9 i# U6 \3 Q9 ]) }我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
) g6 H7 K) B2 Q/ x9 ]所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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4 u; j' z- k5 _( u: F" I1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.  X$ s& i4 x0 Z- t# x/ g
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.3 B; V- v+ a6 w* w3 e
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。! J; q+ ?9 I8 A- N. S. R: U- Z( t# ?

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.% j5 T3 N; ?& V6 H5 Q) U
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
; p) h) h) w0 Q3 S' |* }ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
0 _0 H+ M; n5 v' ?  m所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。& x& c# i, l: a. ^
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置: o4 [. [3 f' {( m4 S' H" J

) I% [- `; c8 x, `还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
! J+ _: V( D+ w) [, _% S如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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7 Y$ o& {" |1 O1 H/ S+ e) U1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1 L% Y8 Y) C; w+ {. m4 p不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。: l  Y: I) p3 v8 {7 x- x3 ?; ~: J( V- q
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1. You have enough clothes.
. a1 v, b! P% A你的衣服足够多了
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' d; K) u  l( h, R1. You have too many shoes.4 o4 r* C+ K! f
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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- e% D; U: t6 n: J0 W3 n& `1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!# N  t3 r6 B0 ^
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?* s! T& j8 d) q+ e* Z$ r- f! p; \: o

! l" ~$ {0 I" X% q1. Thank you for reading this.
7 l' Z8 \/ E+ e6 Q多谢你能看完这个
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) [# M* O: B; J2 `9 SYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; L, ^% M: }8 g$ y3 D' r2 ]) k/ W
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:, f+ i' o) v" U
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置' ~6 b  ]/ M/ N0 h% c

1 l% X, a; {& K& |还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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+ W% g9 n6 G8 H& S3 O( X( p应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿; E' `; H# u; Y- L- u% }
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
* v! r2 F. z; q8 M* q1. You have enough clothes.$ o; n% y; w( K' h! n$ @
你的衣服足够多了/ @8 t9 X. r8 l$ S) v4 I

9 G9 w! f, A1 Z( ~& j1. You have too many shoes.+ x) O2 z0 ~: u: d, i& O, U
你的鞋子也太多了吧

2 }7 w# `5 q+ n这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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* y: c- G( Y: [* X, Q0 N( q! `----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
( a1 l: b3 w. OLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
, y$ A; p5 b8 C# yStrong hints do not work!
4 p6 _- M) G" ~& }Obvious hints do not work!
7 A. F$ f- C. NJust say it!8 H2 \2 N9 F4 a) S
1,你想要什么就说
( M! ]# W0 A9 u0 `我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:- I8 C: U: s/ R9 C9 p% D
1. Ask for what you want.) J: A; s6 K% Z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
0 z0 g8 ]: V! L* M; V: E& TStrong hints do not work!
6 Z2 w# h& N+ J3 ~7 dObvious hints do not work!( I" t" q" T+ [: s) P8 J
Just say it!
3 `+ N) `1 f" S1,你想要什么就说
' x% A* |* ?$ M( A) S0 w* K我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
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$ N. s* ?* H$ e. |! h瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
/ V7 l5 {" y( h1 i6 ~' @! }被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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; t. }6 @4 x7 h- w咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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8 r/ W  V  W; o咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿, E6 t. d' w% K% l6 r% }) N
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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) w" y, F. P( `9 H' b7 T& [9 a& s还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:1 ^# @8 k; Y0 K" _9 c

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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( o- t8 |2 U" R1 u7 p
体会?
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