 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!6 p' j) O) p0 d) L2 C/ p
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.' }9 D# v4 W' T" U: f* X( ]4 P
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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/ B/ g, E; @3 U% D. Y+ X: ~1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it% L2 ?1 g9 d0 _
down.7 B1 c- A5 O& K' I& e% a
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down." N( _$ U1 ~* K) B, M) m- c
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？6 A4 o9 O) \, @
( U E' E* I' y9 S& c% {# y1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 e' o- ^4 Q4 C: k# uLet it be.
) L2 F9 K5 s* D9 x6 [ a$ i+ `) X+ t1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it+ t# J; L7 c* I. ~- `: a9 g
that way." ~9 V1 B+ Z! Z, y0 |! m- ]
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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# v# L& `" G- [* l e1. Crying is blackmail.
p7 P5 M( A: M8 V& n7 k1，哭泣是敲诈3 b4 \" h6 X' f$ e( F" A( g
! P- @, k7 k! K; I/ e1. Ask for what you want.9 C& T7 k2 c0 k3 @0 H x, E
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
* z5 w. t' t2 X- @$ K \Strong hints do not work!
% ~* l. v1 C( v* z4 bObvious hints do not work!
: _3 C/ Y; ?' l& XJust say it!0 P% O$ e4 j, @) N6 K5 b1 h( C
1，你想要什么就说
1 u! q" U, C7 X5 {; } x% {2 J我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！$ z4 {- [, U, U- |9 A( N! t0 N
% t$ Z2 w8 r* _1 h6 x n1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every # l9 h Q) W7 q+ y
question.
1 }8 |# I* r& t0 c) K1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's! r5 D+ P, k/ w; P$ `2 {7 i% Y
what we do.
; I/ L: }' ?& s$ _2 \Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.3 G0 s9 i% u" l1 O! d
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。3 l1 ]4 y% g) ?* h# N
* j$ E6 N6 I* L+ Y6 a$ X. h1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
/ {6 h8 L! k) R5 Y/ C6 U) U5 a* U1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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- {7 j, f+ R7 e% f6 l* M& V1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
$ ^% N- O+ O7 qIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
+ _: P2 j7 }3 B( l, [# o! u我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了" Y7 ?( C$ `% E3 `' W
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 Q) E. f1 d' n4 Z, uto act like soap opera guys.+ X! u5 ]/ f1 V+ V* A
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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% R) E9 q# g, f4 P, w4 T1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
' X8 I. S1 F2 p4 {. d6 A7 `" L1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们+ ?; V, s# k; p$ D, }2 V
2 C0 ]# h$ q& R' m1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 a, }* ^' V- p+ \ t
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6 C8 `3 W6 E& d" U2 C1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。: f( B ^1 Z6 J* d
' p2 D& C: u, V0 }（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
1 d# P# f2 [4 _& f; ]1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it9 \/ `/ h( V) p% O8 \$ j
done. Not both. `$ l0 c) V5 q2 k' f4 i
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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; n+ Z* R4 K; a# @6 D6 v0 p& N/ s7 r" i1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during; _. Q) H1 ]2 Q2 y' B
commercials.
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% M6 M2 H2 Y0 j m1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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( h- O4 x" r6 ^" [' n4 }1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Z6 {4 A3 U7 B% I' T+ mPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 u- `9 ]" Y6 lWe have no idea what mauve is.( U5 ]. U" m3 d6 K4 @! m' f
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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$ C9 |+ o$ |& v% O* _4 K1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like J( @$ Z( N! M
nothing's wrong.
6 x4 n) _$ j) s2 m" Y' fWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.$ {4 ~$ p7 \" @$ x. }8 J2 A$ ?, a a
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
- T9 ^) s+ {5 ~* }2 d _! r6 uyou don't want to hear.) a$ h1 i( e, M
2 J, T! t! n! B, k& Y- E0 x1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is% a3 Y8 `7 \: F( S( V# x/ f) k
fine...Really.1 x, {/ Z" X3 ]7 S2 L, ?& [
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to, J3 x8 J3 W f
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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2 ? y8 t" N$ X4 x5 s" b, k( t1. You have too many shoes.4 d( w5 B( s( V8 ^$ E$ Z
9 Y1 c; d& @ o% v+ o7 c' l; g) D1 j1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!' c. y5 y; Q, j7 t
- Q* ]( T$ i) R7 l9 `) B+ F( w0 _1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 Y i& ?5 I, i2 GBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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3 o5 D0 W, W R" G+ I3 k! [* Z" w! {6 jPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.% V7 ^+ f9 B8 S' f1 B
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
