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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.& {: h- ^' T0 c: E$ s6 `
+ s" k0 X# Q) r$ w2 [# d+ R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
: \$ ]& @" @ W, S' i" mhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday6 ]3 v, d2 S' W* V
morning./ S7 k& ^3 ?0 y% U' }/ z
0 i8 f5 d2 z8 t/ r2 Z# K; _; ^3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2," P& X& e) S' S+ R1 P% N: M
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, @0 w x \' w+ r: K5 x5 alanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% z8 X- \: P; k/ s7 @
* l. X4 S' i5 P( ~9 F( S4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 w# j- C- `0 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 i5 j* [0 X0 [
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 M* n( @8 b$ x$ ^/ rgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
( C/ V: w3 a( M+ J. l- yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 i+ U( D e2 H* I$ e% \1 i4 @; R
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,- c" U8 S: \. f' x& z6 X/ `
cussed out, and possibly shot.+ c, V) p0 p8 h" x
( O1 u0 [ S0 N$ l! q6 O6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
* j4 E# O/ U" ]get you shot.
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5 V% `' Z v- r2 j2 l# b7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that4 ]- \% J3 h' c: J9 \7 Q
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at3 k9 A9 p0 a1 i$ B
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
1 a5 B! Y9 s. J6 C. Y, Zyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
q E' H7 B3 X4 Z" C8 uvehicle through the intersection.% R* d% t( _0 f4 y6 p8 x
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
% ~( a# Z6 C2 ^' K' F g3 M1 fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 I4 A x' } [0 M) S& [day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: X# y1 W/ F2 v7 W$ l2 N$ ]* u, `
more construction starts everyday.5 S# {4 _5 R7 H- |: u7 }* x8 a6 c$ M
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 M3 @% l F) f5 f/ Ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! s7 m& F( ]3 L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- M/ z8 s& {; z
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 j7 d/ \; W! ?. O( _$ S" G0 j
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye4 v6 w: a/ _- o5 }: q+ G7 S4 L0 j
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and, q; q6 H0 Z+ `1 T
66 Street are also the same road; got it?" L0 j( A# S! Y0 j" V
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 C7 L2 u1 q1 \/ `shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
) E; i) m1 @& e2 J2 ?$ p* k' k' Cyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
: Z8 Z6 K) \% u) @0 A! B( Yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ u9 X; V' U- q! Z, V: F2 L$ i# w# Zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 d* k: R& G/ Tblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
