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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush: Q( {6 f/ p9 Y" X
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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. s' d( {% q. v1 Z9 A' L3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,* ~% w) q7 [: m9 x' ]8 A
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a" W9 y/ c2 O1 O- A% _
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% O) F. I8 p- _1 ^9 ~
. t" Q5 m! y/ E6 `6 u0 ^8 Y$ Z4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its9 Y$ @7 o( d: s. `
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 f! Q" K% U, b3 cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, R8 C5 M2 P c2 J! Vgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
9 V v# z0 S8 g- x- iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 e s+ t8 L- M
6 r0 [ a" ~/ H8 r! l5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: K' m( ]$ S# v' G' R
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can* V: A5 j4 B: o$ H+ W) v4 ?* t- ?2 |( B
get you shot.- ~, a$ r/ g$ a2 g: J" Q
& Y# c, I( K& o- ^8 I) @7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
& h# f7 |" q# H2 ~8 \/ vhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at9 k8 D s4 F, T
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot' V' H% {: m Z/ J& v
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
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1 G0 j8 e" \9 ?0 e9 H2 @/ l% G8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
: D! _- I0 _ E5 d2 X3 Q, y& _% tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" u* L" F2 b/ j' L, ]
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 r( b0 ~+ O# I5 ]" Y0 Gmore construction starts everyday.- F$ K: f. @2 F
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
8 c2 \3 C" Q! G. a' N: Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; @+ Y' Z5 { e: n, R, z3 [
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same' N* [4 B% R, @7 ]2 S3 D$ a. O
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
' ?2 W! Y- o W8 @6 r8 X4 O4 t' m' O0 LRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
9 b# i! E& `' Y- c7 ~% s! z66 Street are also the same road; got it?* N( g: a6 A- Y/ J
/ K1 `% R. b0 }: o5 a11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 i6 H' B1 b, p9 O- K' j% o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 c- x/ u- e6 d0 Oyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
, d; t! Z2 O* c2 }, vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 u8 }- z6 }4 [, v2 I* x
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: G" u" J* O. p, d$ L1 C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; W3 G5 s o7 m3 t- M
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
