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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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8 U1 P0 P' h1 N4 I; q0 B3 @9 S6 h4 X1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.0 i4 ?. R- J; N: m- }8 }' w
: l7 g+ _, W$ a. k+ ~9 `2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush4 I3 Z/ c3 c+ i6 Y+ n1 G
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday% r: n4 E0 P/ z8 L8 J' j: m' [ b
morning.5 }/ g# s+ D9 A& [% g
3 }- p7 s/ D o" }% C8 s$ X3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
) v, u! d, {. b! ]6 [( M8 ^you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
. l4 o8 ?( }; f- n& blanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# x2 j8 Q S6 l+ y. D
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 H# X4 g. i+ `1 q1 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 z6 V+ Z& t4 X' p$ C
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell; D: S8 b$ i' Z. b& G) T: x" I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* s! z: N; [8 U% i" D
" l/ @) _9 k* v* `5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% ]* W i0 C2 Z1 w$ c* X- lcussed out, and possibly shot./ y- d& ?+ x6 d) {6 J6 g% Q
7 d( _- n0 c* @ {. z `6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
+ D) W: O6 P2 P- T( I$ Vget you shot.% T% h. G: I6 e3 I4 b
" k7 C( j, j- D4 v6 ?$ z7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that1 l+ Q1 }- ~0 L1 V! g
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
. T& F+ I1 g4 K% a; j( i- ^( Sthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot; ^% A* A- p9 |5 k2 b& r
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first f4 o D S- U( D
vehicle through the intersection.
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" H4 o3 ]8 ?' {8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 Q% T3 `6 Z9 t6 q* vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 S, S- f8 d( ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* M! C. t8 L. \' R- z p
more construction starts everyday.
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, y& P+ c; o& a/ [9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
- W5 M, {/ q. X+ Wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 R/ l% Q9 W) e Z) qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same- d+ P# {7 o C, W9 _. A- v& o
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye) X4 m0 v; L$ |4 Z4 R
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
0 A2 H- \9 T+ k' r3 H4 I66 Street are also the same road; got it?! u t* y9 ~5 k6 }$ |4 z+ ], ^
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ U5 W0 _ l# F; w( m+ L' Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally5 D3 S6 L7 A0 P: ]1 j5 D) \
Activated.'
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7 V6 \6 P$ ^2 Y$ E* C ?12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
4 w% \3 [* {& H: V- `$ u m6 Xyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
5 D* Y' u4 y+ n' _& Q4 Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( |* ?0 x) d) a: o. f) Z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 y* l w3 j* \2 h* |6 Lblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
