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Tiger s Holiday Poem# ?7 T) m/ \) O4 f: q- }
" {) Q# h4 R& n; k) c+ lTwas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house9 s+ ]8 F, t+ t2 s8 R
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
# v, Y4 V, |5 V: V/ C( A2 H! O& kShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,) x" i! S0 Z: r
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.! E; [1 {& o% Y# k' |; W* X
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
) ?; {) B5 r' I/ D: IWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.
! U9 B* g7 `. t% o tHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,2 Q4 Q2 u! M2 Z/ s
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.8 J; i$ V# X- G
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,& v$ h- U v2 i3 ]0 @( i1 H
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.8 n0 _/ L: A3 v7 D: Q
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,- h5 t# j- k# F$ E$ T7 d' z, {0 U& G
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
d! c2 q# J) `/ u+ S; P" A, H5 n( |Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',: A# c# M( E; t5 l$ M0 B& N
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden ./ U, w7 r. C0 d0 \( p( v% i
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
1 t5 U1 n0 {4 p7 b2 U1 i"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
. B7 {0 l8 P8 J) K, B; f5 OShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
" Z4 _; i& e* s3 @/ jHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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