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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. , W2 u" N* v) u) @# o
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. $ i& t% k3 H0 w2 S
( T& z( h* ]: O/ z5 q% Y2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . # `% ^0 e- n2 _% [2 N% c# h5 A
- |7 S5 l/ w$ {/ o0 f2 _9 r3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent 3 j! i1 u- r/ u
+ c! W2 A$ \+ P( m7 D' l6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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. I8 e/ r8 H# Y2 R" B7 Y) u9 D7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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4 {) Y" `2 q2 j/ m! T2 W. q8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
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5 p% @2 ]6 y& P {0 S) L2 Z9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. ( T) ?2 R" m! L. Z6 a
: J! _9 @" T4 M6 E# E8 ~10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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& p5 N/ f; T/ k4 P11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 9 K" P8 I) T! a' P( h# E, k
2 x. {) x+ c4 X12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. ) @2 [: Y6 e7 i, D6 ]! T6 R# i/ ^$ ~ F
# ^2 m# K; g7 P6 F9 L1 Z13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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( A8 E9 z* g8 z4 j14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 0 j/ n1 m5 R1 V4 c0 r$ f$ C
2 A1 p* w7 l1 Y+ Q& p$ i15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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