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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, c( e& e e6 T# n0 A
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
) j2 T' g9 e. rthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* e5 B" G k+ ?4 W1 _
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% y; K+ f$ f$ ^8 `- i4 a& Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".8 h7 `2 H5 S/ ]+ Z2 q
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; e5 t0 z7 s3 gthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up5 D: k; }& s( Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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, ~1 { ~0 U/ S6 g! X' e- S7 rThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. C# A, Q5 F4 x- Z
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ y" O. I! o4 X" i+ ufotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 ?2 C1 Z- o% v4 B, a
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: z7 l$ H- [( z3 Xben a deterent to akurate speling.
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8 A: k* k5 o3 p' o* @1 I5 c& }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
i3 K! ?; G& @( a e# Wdisgrasful and it should go away.' B3 N: L( H( N$ M$ m' f7 b
+ N) D% r% J) H' xBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' e' ], H) \8 J4 ?0 S! u
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 G3 w% C( I, W6 r: {' b' I+ i3 H& O
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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3 w2 P A) Z- ]( B) @" F1 |* N6 \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" U4 |) Q$ H, M( k* M" G; B; y% G
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* E1 H4 [1 C1 CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- \0 ~ p* G% h3 R. n3 x6 m
forst plas.; h* `" L- e+ }8 K7 t/ m3 s q; t
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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