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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) h! m, _7 t4 U) f! c* [
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( b6 @2 h* X# \+ t3 k& f% u
the other possibility.
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' h* E; M6 G' RAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ f1 p3 d" r# R* t) q2 A
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in( d0 q- e( l- R9 W2 P
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' f% Z7 m0 {( r5 D+ x3 M% ?
' ^% L/ H, f$ ~+ C8 ^9 J+ d YIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 d) r/ P% N! C# M1 a
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ c9 a% E* i8 C# b2 PThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ M* j" R' k- v$ ^
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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5 j* c" P Z2 mThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- d9 q- U, U- |
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 m3 y c" c" [fotograf 20% shorter." ~8 x9 m: c* u2 W$ k$ t9 n
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; f _7 {0 I+ L$ Y, [# Sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 z1 M$ D* R( x+ `& N. J) K
2 V# b. U7 O4 G7 j( d- F$ g6 UGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 M" Z( c' V# U: H5 _- W! p+ x! z8 nben a deterent to akurate speling.+ v8 r! L* \) \7 Q1 h
3 Z9 z8 }) a/ z( c9 {) ZAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 i4 s2 D9 H' F# k) ~1 r8 ydisgrasful and it should go away.& [4 v# W9 L4 G9 |- ]
. {1 d/ M9 B+ LBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 R; F6 }3 L6 t6 E/ ^
"z" and "w" with "v".+ z8 O K( N/ O- W/ v
8 B1 H, _& W& ]) U! JDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* P: @7 A' d- z( T0 H1 Aafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 s. F/ ?+ M' u$ J
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 H, O- m u/ Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* S, P: V# C) g3 M7 P4 l4 V; ?# U
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( y2 ^- Y/ O. ~0 Q8 ]" D2 u8 @8 i; Xforst plas.
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3 z# O1 Y9 w6 G# Z J$ i% Y p+ AIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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