 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 T& l, k2 t+ `% C$ ~6 V3 k
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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3 V H* w% N+ {1 R8 E6 d; ^I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:( ^' Y, d3 \' d; n& E8 l1 u
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 L/ J( G" [9 ?; W% b# D* _8 sAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"* t5 Z0 u# f# h
' P: z3 `# S9 v4 H, U. F* D( NI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?1 B* g) G7 R4 B, @2 ~5 L
2 {9 S3 o' [7 t. EI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!9 @* h( `4 W# t9 Q% R" r
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.") g: H: _& g8 m: i4 L$ b E$ A; z7 k
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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* C1 W& e) A" h! Q" b, q0 s1 uNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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" C: c) |" T* O1 X3 P6 wThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!! S% z" R& `2 p/ |5 s
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! ]& e# W% G; s+ f) }$ _9 h5 v, A
& @0 R7 R/ j! E- |0 _1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- _8 h! w3 z+ R! p; T
! M; D! B! t. I, Z4 K& U2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 k" v7 Y) l/ R$ V D$ t0 q
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US." Q. s) R* `$ H
5 T* u4 ?1 R" V( }/ Y' UThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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