 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 v5 `7 |# D/ b/ ], \% S: d/ L0 I
; d, z. O, L4 o, m, w6 A; {6 RI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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& t8 u$ M% @5 x) S5 F"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"; P0 b& S/ T, M; m5 L. a& F
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: v. m6 A) s, U
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And the second one was:7 b6 i2 d$ i4 v+ J
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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& r" y5 f5 S; w# aI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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2 p$ R- q+ u' {) D# f' h: w3 ~, z- Z8 }* bI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?, ]* n4 H1 m& m7 T3 u4 C
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!4 y- A! I! x) ?; a2 j
; G0 w& R& ^* q* NI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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2 M1 t( A# k! q/ C8 ]- X+ V$ G, a' ^So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" }( Y4 Q5 t9 e( o% C/ r
3 E' v' A/ d1 rNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) D( n2 X) F, L3 f2 @' c, R& y
/ m! L" k8 `. E, ?5 a) s! OThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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' p! z+ Q+ O* u Y1 gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:3 l7 U2 M2 U- ?7 I! L# X
; S( C. I/ ` x& I6 p9 ], k1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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7 Z. d6 n) r* j1 `2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.* \8 J8 \8 L5 e% x0 M
, y7 `" H- C- k3 N& I# k4 _7 M"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 U# Y ?0 g) h4 N7 o, w
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ m4 V( a: v6 o0 Z/ F
& s* ]* h% S2 Y! ]: F G; ~: |+ gRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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9 B6 }# V, y0 }: ?4 B" gThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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