 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.! E# n9 j! Q" j( [9 B
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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5 v( v/ l6 G4 Y' e# bI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* b* V% L, H( w7 b$ N; L
: N. g0 B- @8 x4 }"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" F# W7 c& `) z- o
7 X! F' }8 U kI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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' r( K) w$ E6 ?, qI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ s; u; }/ R- Q7 w4 Z* K
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"* @% l9 u' m/ _- m
% b* w1 y1 |4 j" C( Q) X& b3 [2 tI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!9 o/ [- p* j" D
) d6 V& G2 L+ M, }I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" C4 Q) F z& {0 k- t+ M
, Q# K& R5 R; i+ w5 H- BSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: Z) m( W, q1 H; A5 p0 i; FNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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8 S" J a5 x4 f& ]' Y2 q1 ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% D/ ~- F( h+ m( j- S
* Z0 s3 l1 J3 d7 gThank you very much!# o2 H; v" p, _6 [0 @% V
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) o3 j( N( A m, y' N& gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 h2 ~6 V4 t+ t6 N
# ]6 R `; j' C% u7 a9 C6 f! O/ }1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.2 @+ p! S: w, l4 b5 T* ^) H
# T, x: j: G7 |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.& V3 o' y1 |, E7 q4 ~3 q3 p9 u
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# N: }5 h$ p6 x3 l* Z6 W/ I4 s
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- Z3 c1 U8 k7 U. `" t) v% @' S
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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3 {8 y& {- {1 r, c; C7 S+ RThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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