 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.( w. g# g( \7 R, E7 P4 q
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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* b( j0 ]& _! c4 |1 eI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 `9 Z* } g4 p# s2 q. Q1 \$ N2 ~
) U/ ^/ d3 C- S" P+ ^6 I0 G! uI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 F9 r+ t. I1 H8 i' M) M! @
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And the second one was:' e3 l$ Y: \! y4 {
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?": V) G6 M A8 `) [0 J$ e
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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8 D4 `5 k) O ] zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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2 t* _, v+ Q4 e2 |4 V6 X' XI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! |. Q$ C' I9 V% w6 C/ D* p
5 e& n& p0 a0 |1 F; r/ ^I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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\' v; E2 ~ YNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. K* I2 g: Y: E* j+ Z
# d. ^* O2 W; s e/ [3 HThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!- p, Y$ ^: H" u
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$ U: m: D1 }) G1 x) R- ~ kImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:/ r+ [. Z2 t+ A9 e$ x; ^8 z+ e
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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6 e8 J% `! r* P! ]9 M- O$ b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.: P: |! M$ N6 y
; X( x, b4 Q4 E x8 l# j"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.( |) K' |1 k4 e \8 z- w
0 x! t0 g7 l4 x( A- kJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".; n1 o) w+ @9 @+ ~# I$ L1 f: s
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
