Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: ^* [6 r9 F$ R' f+ ?' I' \- ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


# V' r, K7 D2 R5 s3 t+ B, yJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 a5 F/ F; \/ |" X! G+ n/ pLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 l6 v# q  Q1 H# y+ z' uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' d, T# @+ j9 m2 k3 A( _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 Q7 {: I/ P; H! r) Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ R/ S: u  ?  H* `1 \# X- L& TExtensive courier duties also required.

8 N$ H. W& ]+ r6 ?4 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 ]+ D( J" `' HThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  ]; P' b% |9 c+ g* OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 x' J/ U+ m& n% A1 Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 G! ~4 {9 o$ V8 ?! F* Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 l4 V$ E5 `3 m6 d, [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' S/ W0 W' B9 n0 O* k& h: psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 g: Q& b) ^" {1 U3 e, r" vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 q8 G  V6 |/ L; [  Z4 JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ u/ `9 |0 g: J7 han embarrassment the next.
+ r* F9 w6 D: i# [# K6 g# pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 Q, l: Y( x. O. j. S% bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
- n7 T1 ~5 f  Cthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" \! g, J2 E1 N7 R) P" D+ Bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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# x: j5 q  J$ u' p5 FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 B! y! e& ~7 [+ Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; n. |) Q9 p7 O# ~$ ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 G* g0 @6 I% D& r! p" n
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 K: r0 q# Y' [1 L8 {) T. [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ d& ~& }8 b# N  |1 hGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
' ]. v+ {8 |2 t3 E! F9 Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 D. B  n- `2 U* a, Vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 c% f5 ]+ p0 w* TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 z  \5 i+ J1 o" r( d1 j# Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
7 P. \$ ?+ O( R8 U4 w
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ i) W) S9 h' z
; \# ]4 A7 H7 r; gfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 z" T* M1 L8 d+ B7 ?& N

6 R, x$ q' J. [1 i0 V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  R0 a, G' b. l  o
0 p- H$ f* J2 k, u6 BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
; R9 H' B% `* O3 o% k0 Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
+ i0 w& l" e5 T# B# Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.