Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

/ F& r/ t+ B" i9 ~  }
* G$ Z6 ^' o- U: DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
: o  X# d  X. T; Y2 b4 ]0 r3 f
" P2 W  B6 }  w$ _permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ a4 c0 }5 H- l& q  Y1 pCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 |* E' N, a# b& u& G5 {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 }/ \  _. i% V0 c- d- [0 zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, z# f) _; a% b; Z; @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ ^6 K, `+ U; @* ?; _# K1 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 c& N3 N0 S1 N+ j1 D9 GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& m% x( ^6 S2 h9 ^& y0 a7 Z2 ~Extensive courier duties also required.
1 I5 X* `- D; [$ ~
RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 \5 f' n0 y7 n3 FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ {4 w9 s7 U: c* T( w. Y7 X. ^) o, I) u2 Sin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 Y0 P$ S7 y8 r2 C; D( H0 D: |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' Z) l2 }; y* H: c1 l2 ]; T- Rand stuck zippers.
+ i3 p: B0 d3 ?: q! p9 `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 _$ ^  c- c% vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ N7 t! A. Y# j' |  i! a& D6 `Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 `+ s+ |3 E! mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' g: |( J9 M4 y2 B! sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 P+ a6 H% |4 W+ C; uthe quality of the end product.
6 D1 T/ G7 A; ]! R% j% |# T* |$ WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& Z) @, n& X6 m4 C- vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 D( A2 i+ t* I% i$ M& Dcan ultimately surpass you.
& V+ n  e! @  n2 ?8 U8 j
9 T6 {$ K- O' q
& l5 ]2 V( i- APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 J$ A+ P- w9 O# ~" J+ {None required, unfortunately.
+ N: ^) y$ f  POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

! I! X0 U$ r# JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: Z" E4 T% s2 x3 K& KGet this! You pay them!
- y5 l* |. l+ h; w8 U; j2 s* fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
0 L- w$ v2 d. L' hWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 {, ^7 r! k9 F6 Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" b/ i7 y6 R3 V! G) K
2 U* J0 v+ M7 M- g. o. qBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" W4 h! s* x( C5 s+ J- gno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

& B( R- p) F; H  U7 e( D0 o" Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
( X; ]3 c& q( |" n



** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

- v2 a  I, i! z1 L' \

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 z3 X# u- {9 j% Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
' Y0 l4 Y5 v# @3 b6 e/ `& L4 }
, @9 R5 d9 X3 N8 g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.