Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ {1 ~+ B- ]& d( _: Y+ d4 z3 fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 ~% |6 [+ W. ?6 `4 K+ c1 EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


/ e) y1 A# b$ f( ^% a8 n1 S$ iJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 T* o6 O* R& P' j% DLong term, team players needed for challenging,
3 W, q2 K2 X3 C) W& t
) q3 S% Y; Z6 X$ K6 wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
# l! p. ?# h6 w, oand organizational skills and be willing to work
6 Z  I8 `+ m. v3 T! Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& w9 `# |, ?. ?% MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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: i" }- f8 m3 Z% o- W4 YRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ `7 S, W" s8 D, H3 k1 k/ l3 IMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# n0 q9 ]7 y5 }7 u  oMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 j. V4 t7 O: o, Z3 uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* S2 C5 [1 p" ?5 R- X/ Fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. Y4 x: n  ~& A5 }% u: qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 b0 R4 E" K/ H3 {' E$ yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# S: |* [+ E( ^2 c& Esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; I" X" j. q( y9 r9 @! {and stuck zippers.
: j. [- ^! C. i: rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' O0 Z- h$ z. N6 Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. E1 S2 h  I+ U# J- ?6 r# tMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 V7 j& w3 j4 e1 U0 P. \6 ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  @8 T- u; o0 f" D. P5 S  dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 m: B* z( Q9 q/ L2 F5 s4 l! fMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& L% j- y# {3 N: `: v; I3 d: aResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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7 A3 J. o  g: R# U4 m0 cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% w0 _, G6 C) q' }2 ?$ D' }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* \  R5 o  A" _5 q( e# twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, g: M6 p% l" hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 ~2 q, G# `% C- dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ X3 _- L% T# A+ r9 B7 z& x) XNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) U' M& {1 l+ yGet this! You pay them!
, W9 d$ B" |$ D/ BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 F$ Q/ E1 A0 r: uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: u/ z& k0 S9 T8 zBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# b9 b: {2 c9 T9 m3 y* T+ h8 A8 lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( S: n, o9 b5 S4 A! b( e
  i* J7 e* A1 yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
# ]% {5 `8 Y+ p! E6 x; b- d
  A; h7 w. _, ]' c+ Jfor life if you play your cards right.

( U% I: u+ o# i0 d& C


% ^$ `( M6 e6 I! l** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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# C, ~7 u( y6 K" z  kForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 i5 k5 [" ~% y; D" [3 Ior forward with love
; D9 s1 a. u  O% m# h/ ?6 j0 qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

4 g6 W, R" z" D* ~

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.