Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, Y: ]9 q& {' NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 P( N( Q- L) }8 \, x1 }. G2 ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- ~7 f# X* ]5 P% zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 T' a1 L" G. t9 [! o9 H* K0 uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: V* ^! P. a# _6 V2 @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" l; u' c* H$ q. `# f. P; \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- n7 c# ]7 k+ F# U6 ^The rest of your life.
. \' }" A" Q" m# M7 \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 ~6 ]7 T# h# {* }! Y2 S( wMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. Y% G9 v! M. l4 K8 S! L& K8 Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 w0 a: h) ?2 [4 E7 z+ Jin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) o9 a( ^" o' t4 Z1 mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
. ]$ U: P$ y7 J  B1 v5 P0 n3 kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" d* r, @" h4 r. s- x% V! i# a: xMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* Q3 M6 Q6 p, C2 E* i* m& xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) w: N9 S. g8 \& K& p/ c! ~" gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ ]9 F' }: P1 AYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
  a* t  r$ J* [2 lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
) n  q/ ]9 @- W' m! n% H8 Bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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1 s- o+ p2 `  A6 ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
7 P# a+ d) p( F1 H6 DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 F- W( M' F8 Z* pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
* U8 U( t9 n' e. w7 va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" k  a/ A6 g& {# L) b8 UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: \& y; _' E" PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& F% Z" ~5 H; l2 m  [+ J0 v; k+ C9 Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
# T6 w2 U+ M, ~, Z) Z4 o0 [6 KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. ?3 V  o0 ]& O' ~( y/ N# |, junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  Q# a/ C% r6 `/ J, K+ \or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.