Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 f' T) P: E& ^6 \" ^$ VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


: A* Y# M9 T; g% y) |+ QJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 s2 b) X/ x8 P9 e5 o8 \/ n& R0 LLong term, team players needed for challenging,

" Y! D4 L5 o8 ?2 zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 w1 c5 P' o3 MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% |$ G- c' M! s/ |! H. n2 l8 Mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 k2 Y6 a7 I8 p, Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, \# ^& i, G; V3 I, T; `8 H$ X: iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 ]# n) t9 ~  W8 R: oTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ Y  {  }" u, A) O3 M  e, uExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 p6 O# m! T. E& l6 P: bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ I. `7 a, e( vuntil someone needs $5.
- w: ^% Y! ~, q: i, yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* T1 \' k( {! \9 _0 e! h* N7 vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' G% ?  `9 E7 xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- V5 ?8 B) @5 }: K2 _( y3 lin case, this time, the screams from
2 {6 o. h0 g0 g$ i- fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ r& T1 u5 Z5 P) RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; t4 j9 D% \( Y6 Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 I8 k/ @9 x+ O0 qand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, D$ q) ~# b+ y1 Uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; ^. b6 \7 ^- u4 A+ s( ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 b" H9 Y4 g' h+ JMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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* p5 x! C+ t( C* C. `! rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 q  d* [( m$ b2 s9 e8 V, ]/ v9 Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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2 S( j: C0 V+ Z) J9 R% }; v0 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; }+ y! E- `) `) TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
" K! Z: E% N0 j) b) Xbecome financially independent.
; x' a* g0 z( b, Z, F1 \: q4 _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% K; j" L) D# L6 n; n; F2 |  gThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 |0 Q7 O% H, r- L% ]2 }BENEFITS:
" o- E& a0 s! t  HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, e  D" w8 ?- p! p2 P! B* F7 ?no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ w$ l+ f8 u! ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& r3 }- a' d' g5 V
- v2 K( `5 B# T8 G2 y; ?# uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

. D! d/ z& i+ q/ a6 }8 Wfor life if you play your cards right.
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3 S9 x4 k0 M: W  Q5 b7 @' B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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! ~0 r4 a5 [  K1 ]0 gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  p3 L+ b8 ^, y' z3 ~; ^  Q! Yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.