Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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+ J7 }# t3 j' a4 A5 l1 A6 }JOB DESCRIPTION:
: D& x$ q4 b% G# o9 m  ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

- s/ ^; Y# ]$ Q- U1 _: _permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& O3 e  O! m7 b; M. O7 sCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 I* N: l6 _& N- _1 Q) land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 x! ^: K" d* CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' o- @* S2 s2 _6 d! |+ Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ g6 O6 Z8 I& [  ^# g2 VThe rest of your life.
& O1 V4 m' @9 x. L1 r8 R# ~& P& kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ {6 x1 Y: |. j# e6 b# suntil someone needs $5.
; a; o  q- `) Y) u/ LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 K4 g, M( d; o& N& G, x' _: yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# C/ [8 J- G0 C6 Q6 J7 oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& D* W" J9 O+ jin case, this time, the screams from
( s+ @* V1 P; l6 G* d/ Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 n5 @- t( l& P# J6 ]1 Z, N. CMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 ]6 \# g/ r* a$ ]2 Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 M% j  F9 }$ s. U. Fand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' }4 V/ ?: t" e0 a/ ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 Q2 _5 Y, t$ j) G2 F7 R# xan embarrassment the next.
/ S; ~; t: n. H3 C: P1 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% w8 u: F, \& M2 D& F( Dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# k& T# c: l3 ^# O8 T' Kthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  j. p: u0 r, F8 xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' X+ ]. y/ _$ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; t( j; X* h& `# dNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. L$ W6 L# O  r2 H- Q6 h) nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& N+ |6 B  [; ~) C9 t, zcan ultimately surpass you.
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- o# l( T8 q7 o, w& b0 {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  a6 E# F1 ]5 O. a7 x2 t6 o, YNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- o' ]3 s, g6 j: A7 D% @  SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 ^5 d4 Q; ?( {* yGet this! You pay them!
* [# g% }7 e% K  C; {! |* \% I% v7 vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 z9 @6 C. `3 H& T/ K6 Q3 V! I' qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ A# w/ `5 V8 mof the assumption that college will help them
) U& a8 ]& e+ n' ]( g2 abecome financially independent.
* A7 e* T& m3 `  [1 ?% D. NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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5 q; `0 u7 U- }) }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 z4 T) ^& c& v- M& d& y) |Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 n0 D/ u- G( U: zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ j9 Y1 I# b' a+ q) {/ F3 \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.