Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 s1 W0 f& E7 DLong term, team players needed for challenging,

' N# k1 X, b3 E% Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ e* N4 [8 K5 a- @4 w+ \9 QCandidates must possess excellent communication
* n. ^. G; a$ }! f9 t  K% @; Xand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 W. ^# ]$ r, u9 iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 B7 F' i# J& L8 O% Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; n: o# Z! J2 a$ X) q* CTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 D1 H0 M: M( C, D. ]4 tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! ^2 g7 R- x# s" {2 OMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 q3 c5 Z8 {8 s* _coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( H( H+ r4 ?* S# _0 ]& }. wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 X4 R, r2 M" j+ v, q1 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
7 f; `4 k/ u* Z3 [" Y3 B( IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" ^8 k7 k9 M" F6 T3 W* xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 }1 @# p% _. I, y: w. U" gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  K& X. @+ u" @3 r. a0 `/ }' m) vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

! m, F2 ]. {2 `7 e2 }, c7 Q1 BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) f: ?, l. ~# rNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! j& u$ c7 t6 u$ _5 xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 N" g" {! y( q  QGet this! You pay them!
) N( Z9 C4 I3 I9 q4 [) l: j$ H- xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  i9 }! w2 y, q% S$ S$ B9 z+ @of the assumption that college will help them
" R5 ^) G# t  r2 M: l: U/ Qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, d3 J& {% r; `. T6 {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. d; U# U) f" c, yno stock options are offered,
, t2 r6 z# e" E( \) A, Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ m! t/ `, P& o& t9 c+ e9 j% n* [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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( H; d5 `& U) G  H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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, w! v3 y3 W! I  r( lForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: S! v  _* F% \  c7 Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.