Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% I- M% E( L2 O# ?0 w3 Tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ @( M4 z0 y0 C( [. uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 k& K1 v0 S) m  {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  K7 |8 M" y: i; |$ _# pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) w+ G2 w6 |2 dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! ?+ W. D# ~4 X1 a+ gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ X- Q! x3 N+ B, ^6 Suntil someone needs $5.
4 s- _6 @0 p' PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 a: S* e: Q  p0 a! @6 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ x! G2 ^$ G" v2 XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- i: o$ Y9 D; m% nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) Y/ R$ q" H3 ], }: |( O$ I' LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* B$ D4 @4 J, a4 J) _6 G0 sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 W. _3 t* e$ @0 gMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ S- |2 |8 n5 ~9 T  nResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 ?5 ~; i. K: ?( I* Y) }janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% s9 P0 X, i# l% j0 U) w$ n1 EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' _: ]  W+ m3 U  o( ^7 iNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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: y7 p7 k* J1 y+ uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# N0 P* |6 G! N9 n- C# ?# u4 u6 z+ KWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 y6 M5 z: i: O0 v# n# \% rOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
. C8 }4 R6 `9 n3 W" dbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 B6 p! w; }7 v0 A$ r  Gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 O3 c- J" ]0 w+ Q9 k! `" \" r
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
# S/ v1 `) @' v# m4 t+ Z2 jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

& h) o! D' J) T0 ?' Y) dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: d- p3 D% ^5 @7 a6 nfor life if you play your cards right.
. _1 O3 c: b0 \' c: m4 n; e

9 i' Y, Y* S) a( q% F3 ?# j

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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! C* _. ]) U) M& s
8 n5 _1 O4 n5 Q$ O0 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, T. K3 Z$ `1 G! _letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
7 v! z3 D9 D, Y8 W/ L% O1 Ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.