 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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! N9 w- G; O: w* d4 U0 c" I4 iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 1 `1 W# ^2 z2 h) V" j2 p
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. F1 P8 H; s( K: w: GJOB DESCRIPTION:
9 g+ l; D$ v8 z/ q( tLong term, team players needed for challenging,& F2 O2 p- N, M" y
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ' a( Z9 d1 N+ ]
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; D9 H4 o. W) d, U7 Jand organizational skills and be willing to work 4 z2 U$ @2 @& _5 b! d
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 D: e- `* p( kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 8 ]$ y: M' V: }1 P- U! p. d
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( x J7 q9 ]0 A! Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 K" r4 \& o) M- Y% [& N, @8 Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities! & i5 M' Q$ R) ^1 h
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ' b) d* c4 l8 u) W* j
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, X6 o! E3 V4 V& X: e+ e' eThe rest of your life. / B' ~5 X4 `1 v
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, / C- E; e. o, {9 n# J6 D
until someone needs $5.
' D' a3 c9 S1 |9 nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 1 W1 o$ ~' } l0 C" F
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. L7 V/ I/ t; X) s. Mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 7 i$ s9 H- P( w- i3 o
in case, this time, the screams from 3 u0 c9 _! g! u) o
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. T T3 Z# i" m5 n1 S/ I* F& k1 J2 YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 v8 m. e5 A: h2 b7 L+ r! Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ z4 t/ f5 ?6 x8 j8 r5 o, s$ _4 z. {and stuck zippers. 3 e9 S; @1 S3 ~6 m* y% I! N* }
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
b+ C0 J6 z1 Y0 z2 h6 K# Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. # ?" A8 B6 Q% f: J
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 6 v. N( _. ]; i7 d6 G/ D
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & g& C- f( z/ t& e
an embarrassment the next. - @" H" ]4 P" a* e8 {8 z$ E
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 Y3 w5 U5 z* A% g/ a& d+ B$ l ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& v. [" |* [% gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 q% T9 t$ \( z4 r: F- e/ bMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 K( a. d9 z: Y) u1 P: d0 {the quality of the end product.
. |6 s U3 a4 \! L& _) FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 n$ }& i$ Z y7 O$ Ljanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# L7 @- Z+ f7 w& t3 Y }* q+ kNone. , }. X* r1 H, X% ^% h6 N
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, % z0 Z8 l* n1 h/ U
without complaining,constantly retraining and , m9 j+ T3 |# S: C6 X# p. g
updating your skills, so that those in your charge : \) s" x' _" h
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ; N& e" C& N, V8 U6 E' W5 S
None required, unfortunately. 3 g3 j! R. L/ w& k9 B5 U- [
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) |$ w1 O6 `. y4 P2 S2 s" FGet this! You pay them!
6 }) [# k4 Y1 @) M* M% ]( A' R/ VOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 1 D! ]$ i$ v) X9 [: l- K2 _- X8 Y6 V
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 A: q- S5 O4 R5 y5 V! j/ v) J2 A9 ^) nof the assumption that college will help them & e9 O& v* v0 W! o% E
become financially independent.
8 `% t, s9 T- i' W) @When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 u5 G3 s) o; V7 G4 h9 M$ p. aThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ! L7 B/ S, B& N+ s" l- f
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. . P* s, C4 l8 G4 N
1 ?3 R9 Q( {2 [. jBENEFITS: " g1 t( D/ ]0 `5 b% ?
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 _, B) e q4 P/ Ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and . F, w, K) U# \, z1 r8 B
no stock options are offered,/ I" u1 c9 K" n! C+ V t$ ^
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 ~/ e) J( u+ ^& g `6 u! n
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.. o/ a8 z. }$ m. @5 \. Z4 r
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 6 b4 ~1 v' ~4 b& v2 M2 n* D! X
letting them know they are appreciated
6 [. {; J) @' z6 D: afor the fabulous job they do... ( `& i. S [. c- ]
or forward with love , I2 m' G, b& C; t# k
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.1 w- Z2 @" Q9 h9 x6 x& Z+ K. V1 F
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
