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Crazy English! Zt

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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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Crazy English!
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" r# P! X  }. ~1 r+ yWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.( F7 q% w, K- k3 B
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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, k( c  F" i; Z' I( Z2 FIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?; M+ c6 g9 H2 k$ p3 C
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.8 S' F2 [& o: O5 u
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.4 y3 O4 c3 Q8 ^9 N2 a
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.# R! _9 e. B; t$ |

  E9 A9 n) `3 W' d* kLet's face it, English is a crazy language!9 N& d0 M3 L7 g- p: A

: {5 G: J/ y- CThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England., H* H; s" K* g  M( [

  s' @% T; W- aAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?0 k3 ]7 N: C4 `( a4 `

2 t! `/ U8 D0 B) a/ gDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?5 F! M/ }3 T4 g8 k
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?" b% {. ?2 x% V9 A+ A/ S$ ~
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?! n3 r/ f/ x* l  l* X( N+ A
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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3 Z, d1 y+ k$ s7 CHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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, @5 }( c; ?+ vHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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- [0 Z3 I/ d/ {( j+ w1 L5 dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
0 d5 C/ w9 ^4 D  I6 _9 pHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!( W1 M: t2 X; d. {$ c# c
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane
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