Crazy English! Zt

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ZT

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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

7 o1 @$ s3 p( l' [0 V- oYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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7 }/ O3 ^  Z* r0 Y  oIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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7 C  E9 g5 r; i, Y9 a& X2 K+ `If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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& ?* w3 ]( H! z/ o4 h" I4 i0 z( h/ K- GThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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, ~+ c( p- U6 @Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

, I: B! l. U9 q9 MThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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" k5 S; W) R4 r0 S6 a; }And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

- V& ]1 w! w2 B& w8 ~1 [, \Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

$ [0 B7 c3 Y. c! u, UIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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- y0 q( T! d, [' L2 Y3 eIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

9 l) h3 }' `# {- i" @Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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, N2 k; j+ @. s5 y+ }; L% GHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

' R$ T: i, F7 n( j! @You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
  {7 {1 V9 z  g  X5 M; I: z5 [House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane