Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT


1 |3 C) ^/ U, J9 v! E: D/ uCrazy English!
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  ~0 g  o0 w8 N' G6 ^We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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; y4 f, ~% q3 }& L% gOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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3 G" F; s% ]. a& b% q. mYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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* _5 ^$ J- m; E9 M& a* A1 kIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

& y3 @- M6 W% w: c, }$ ^If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

& Q) u  e3 ~1 @" r$ g9 vThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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# {4 r7 {" I# \- O. t+ G/ Q* w; TWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

9 x# u7 J5 h6 W1 [: `& |Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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4 x" ~1 {2 A. BThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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" M+ c! `- k+ O- wAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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- A7 R3 w. q  J/ F& I1 F1 gDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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) J$ D0 }" w. J' v. V/ lIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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/ C) c: @& O: n. BHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
& f! c1 Z! T9 f/ n5 u; ]6 yHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane