Crazy English! Zt

victorw

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. P% S6 I( {& X2 BCrazy English!
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* K2 j8 d- Q2 V* @We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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( ]( L+ p( Y  A$ M# |4 V+ ^One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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; v" H; j% _& Q  T6 W2 Q4 C" aYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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, }; I5 P) \" g  s; E- y/ k, CThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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4 ~& \' x# p4 c1 W9 IWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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* v( G7 J: P: l6 `% L( [* VThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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8 W7 u, g, |; j5 zLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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7 n! V; }9 k& EThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

: ^" y: G- t) @  ~" E0 UAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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8 S! A: [$ F( ]; t0 dDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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* P  l( M+ ^8 J3 @$ l, ]+ cIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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7 f  i% b, v9 i1 T5 W& }6 zIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

$ `( W! ^* {8 N4 ^9 ZShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

$ [) S" E% q6 S5 P- X' e! v( [How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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9 M5 Y* N. ~/ ]1 uSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane