 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol& a5 Q' G* l; q' h/ N- ~# ?
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& b8 i% \. t) |; o+ w4 u1 BThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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& o3 M9 Q+ O: A. d5 r* v1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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& G7 |( E7 P0 y2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.1 _/ N2 |# ? y. i$ n+ o) b. F
1 O6 |5 M6 d/ w7 Q, _" _# w3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.* ~4 }$ Y1 y: |% G+ s6 c) p
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.- `' F5 @ e% z; M1 W6 Y
3 S# ?* |1 v( k* e/ P5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.4 s- g; x7 M8 N5 F0 f$ Z2 `! N# Z
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@6 v4 V; d0 {, E. e) O9 u8 E$ E6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area( |, W/ M; K4 W2 Q5 }
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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& s+ @! i: s) ]3 k8 {! v8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
( o- j+ b$ c" ]. a/ a'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'5 `& I7 f6 w$ @3 q' H( ~
$ f1 v2 v* v/ \9 v: ^9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.' ^. F0 F* P# X+ [4 O
" S2 c: I1 z- T) F) J" |7 G10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.6 G, R$ X! S' I3 L
" H" `, s- R& f) G, a12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.) M" O" `: O7 T+ d% M
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!0 i( b) E/ ?# s2 M5 @9 a' [
% S' Z& y9 s/ x$ E+ RAnd; last, but not least!)
& ~( M, ~4 {- r( A, A) }15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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