English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
; G- b1 b/ K3 b5 o+ \And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
* p; f8 y" I" `* TFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
! R" r" U7 V5 n' F% y/ `But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
' `4 q0 x* B* Q( e8 P4 GQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
* V3 l; _0 A/ ~2 iAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
$ O2 w; o& B: q0 a/ m7 L$ m7 V- gIf the plural of tooth is teeth
7 p8 [0 g4 \1 d/ ^* VShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 |$ N: P) b6 c2 I" r% L( {" x  cIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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- I3 S2 J) D3 ~' L) \5 oIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
% Y; c+ Z: |( {% lWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
4 {& M5 K1 o3 f0 W5 ~0 Q, IAnd in which you fill in a form
+ `. i( u$ z  n+ o& F9 N$ J1 n) u# ZBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
& M8 i/ E2 U$ f8 MAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
5 ^0 ]( v: j6 p% I- X# ABut when the lights are out they are invisible
# P  f7 Q3 A0 X+ @8 uAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
0 k. f4 y; M' e/ cBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
* D0 Q# ?: t2 w7 M- j& J' ]2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
5 E6 k$ r! E; a3 T( }+ {3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
& U) M. M. l2 d. q我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
8 A" U  r1 P8 e. J& M2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

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谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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