English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

- a* F* ?5 z: C0 }* j$ nLet's face it
& }1 q( Q+ A# ?7 E" NEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 w. v4 f9 a# i3 q+ R2 W/ UEnglish muffins were not invented in England
) J, u& _/ E7 K& k. oFrench fries were not invented in France.
) K" j/ o0 k( j8 z
We sometimes take English for granted
7 y* _7 z5 z$ v  j' ]But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
: m( P  g) I- c: |
8 A3 }3 ^$ }0 L% U. \If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
+ J+ g' T9 w' o6 C7 hIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
8 \! m+ ]) E9 ?& U* P$ WIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
3 @3 t6 N2 t8 ^* g: G# w  `Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
3 n5 [3 |$ K7 SDrive on parkways
# a: n8 K- F0 W
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
) o8 ^* q/ l% ]  G/ rBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
) {+ W( F. l( i& o6 R; r( gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 n" q! r) z% r: s0 H' e% _2 x(Which of course isn't a race at all)
% S' u' I; H: M6 p; Z
. Y+ s6 r, L! `9 SThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
3 w/ @9 z- h5 V, A" }1 ABut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
3 w" g0 h& f2 h# @0 F0 ]& LBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
/ j8 t6 ^/ v* r- I7 X6 K, m2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
1 K" u  L- [3 d/ \, {其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

. c& }6 K  ~/ Z0 q3 v! |( F. `8 B谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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说得不错，有收获，顶一下

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