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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new + |- v0 ?0 Q  l8 v2 w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
! `$ @2 l* w$ n( U6 O1 E9 ^% fBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window - ]$ Q+ d7 h1 ^+ K4 @( Z
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
& y% z6 L, @$ U3 g. _5 m& qflock, will you give me one?"
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: M% }: g/ ~6 k+ nThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 4 _. x9 D( ~4 L( o
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure.", ?3 g4 }' d4 h; V% R- o0 T: }

# `# G$ X0 }2 C" h4 m/ BThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
, O( \% y7 a3 Q6 c; ecell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
: }) D/ n* D# o1 ?- X7 bGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
; ]5 x# L2 ~5 @0 i8 }( Dand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his * r! u3 q$ [1 _' r* p; n! D
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
0 a0 g+ j! ?* z: h) sa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
+ O. |% g+ y+ Z! s4 r2 H, t9 msays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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4 F& ~( @' D" L3 P0 _  B: D"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 6 \$ x: @! y" i! F8 t: u  n
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
) l: x" Y, }0 k% sis, will you give me back my animal?"& R* V' x2 E, Q

' n. f' l# q0 p8 q: S; b"OK, why not" answered the young man." }/ d- E8 Y$ H! o/ R
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 5 G3 `. B5 d  _, _
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
8 y  o- |5 Z0 @: T( m5 M; Mquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
; G0 X3 g" F/ X, Q: ]me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is # _; q5 V. _- a, f
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
! B& V. Y+ ^1 XNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few / V$ [, E6 B+ f/ j6 L" q) E
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
7 G% B) z8 ^* A8 Q) D0 D! Pwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ( N. ^$ C* E$ T' m% B9 O0 F0 N+ S
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 3 U1 @$ V% }0 ^, \0 K
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was + `, h! d; N3 x6 R0 A7 h4 P  [# I
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 ?0 ?2 v4 `) B) \2 ?
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   A# G( S0 i8 V0 N- j
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
9 {! g. P$ y; W+ o  F; Wwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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6 ^/ C: k9 s7 u% p' k" i1 ]The first man married a nurse. 7 s$ Q0 R7 ?1 c3 M/ p
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. , v+ i4 U4 j/ u! c9 p# t2 v' ^  y& q
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator. - ?0 {: K2 S% L
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. * b; C7 F: \& G; U# H6 w4 y
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top : n# u1 k9 S  y5 d; I( a& L
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 2 K/ T2 V: ^& T& Q$ C! K1 n  Y
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
6 Q. L; J: P3 J0 G1 V3 L- Q# X) n( Xbut teachers are just too frigid".
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0 `  _3 q# a+ V+ e3 T, pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 9 |- |+ C" J7 u" j! i, f0 s2 b7 B
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 0 m* [- M7 ]! ^, z3 V, R- k. Z
would call much later in the day.
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0 ]6 @; j* M, PAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
- a1 S% w" Y# ~: {/ `4 H/ Inurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's " t. t# ?/ T6 y& q" D: P- @
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
' i' @# x8 u2 P; ~
, T; _% j) Y0 ]0 @. t6 c8 RDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.: u& \6 P9 D# r

% Z" j8 N  D1 CThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
' r' t2 y+ s/ fwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."% a6 y# O' h. |: _5 u" U; c( ]

! }0 [( X( @, t, i) _0 ]2 @At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.( Z4 v4 p1 L  c7 Z
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
; {1 A4 i: x* Y7 k& `as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back # @4 a! ~8 k: l4 M
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.) c5 Z4 P2 H* V5 A9 y) g

; Z8 f2 N, ]4 }' u. J  pDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ( y1 w  D1 F7 q
their voices." % [& x$ R0 J5 f' F# I

0 T  ~: W) d+ Z* k8 H) BThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I / `0 k, e: F; p3 T3 i7 \! X
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
- H" q1 P/ e& t4 |! D: `0 l6 dthree minutes are up."
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% `5 @' |, Q/ y6 J3 Q3 R; L' uDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 7 o5 Q( ?! I) n" y
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.; a7 g. G2 y$ P" D  C; I0 h

9 z) M. }* D5 z" p4 ~0 ~Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 0 g6 @# \3 k8 o1 c9 o) i
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ! _$ f& L, q; Q
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 1 F6 k! I, A1 [4 P/ ^) N. }
legs.
/ n# R7 j0 b$ W0 H. Z3 W/ M: _# j6 n- Q4 l7 X7 j: S3 w6 R
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a * X# X0 ]- P1 H( n  F
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
4 o! G/ U% ^2 L: l' Ma school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We " m. M4 Z( D% E3 f3 K$ ^& V" Q
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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