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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 0 B! L5 ~8 r3 E% C$ M
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ) n- P) P7 n5 u
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
1 ~! f7 b8 z. v! ^+ U! Q, H7 D& Qand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ' p) M" n( u% x1 I! O! t
flock, will you give me one?"% g, s# N) a, A
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # @4 R. ~9 H- M; @3 B! d
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."/ N5 ~5 C9 s6 i  l

! M7 F& w8 [" _5 ?& y! kThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
$ e% s9 A& y  Y5 h2 A5 B4 N" ?cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
6 [$ b7 n' o9 n2 sGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
7 W& R& y# f$ l6 R3 R" S" Hand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
! u: ?" Q- a" I" G' y8 jBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 7 r& _3 M3 J! P& w9 c4 d9 \8 ?
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 4 l- G2 j  H) J5 Z) W2 C. c- F' d
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
3 \( R3 }( E/ ]% P3 @car.+ u; O3 H3 e* U) o! n- {+ ]( M/ i) y- \

/ t3 S, [9 C! g6 W! k( X1 p6 W, bThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 4 \0 O' s- ~3 a( B9 F
is, will you give me back my animal?"5 s& l- F3 x# S* p1 n

! ~; D2 P' [3 {2 G5 V7 `& y"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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8 `& U. H5 C$ l' Y; p"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"5 |# w* N, d. |4 y  B% T+ `

. d" [  m3 f6 E% A9 s  @3 ?8 h7 Q"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - @  v' h; j* z) ~1 ]+ l1 D
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
/ F4 d& D% c2 G7 k" k; Oquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ) {+ j* Z- F5 x
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is , E, R/ D! w. J
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 e: W) v6 M- e- {! m
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 7 P. ~6 e+ d* J/ |4 P3 I! C, y
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
1 `7 I  f: P$ I% {was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ! Q2 t# m- v$ Q) [( k% ]
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ! R3 I; ?: [- q2 V9 e/ v' i0 i
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was   L- n5 q  a. @7 c
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
, a3 {# o8 T% ]0 Mresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
4 `. T8 d- D7 Y  \. M; [bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 5 I6 y: n/ F" A4 D. @( c
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. " k* P+ V+ P" ^3 b  f
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The first man married a nurse. 4 [# i6 N5 ^0 W0 Z9 b1 I

( \; e& q; I- Q/ v0 ^, @  b, SDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
% G! z4 m; Z8 U; X) S- `Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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3 S9 m- V  _0 C+ ^. VDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ; q  i; i, k% C/ j" s
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 8 G) F! ^# R- F
button...A-bomb.?: t9 z& o; M$ ~% d

# P0 ^2 E* T' [# C) dThe third man married a school teacher. ; q& E/ e0 s4 Z8 B* [/ G* X% p

6 J" s# @" ~3 E2 N2 x3 F- nDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty " b8 S/ E& [9 O! S' M0 k% h
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
, q% V8 P  K+ [9 z) tonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
& k4 l2 |- S0 c3 m7 Qwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 8 R8 c- f3 u- n0 y
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
, S, ~- `/ V9 v' O7 |pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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/ m1 B4 Z5 U: ~9 \The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 S$ D, G3 h' L  twas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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2 z3 v. [9 P; d& B) o" b# \" e" lAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.5 z/ \$ Z0 ]# o3 q

% t( v$ A; y; W, c% ]The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
( k3 A& ]$ |7 j% n/ m7 n' T8 d, n7 |2 Xas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
' |. A9 `1 H1 e. O8 _! bin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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) S5 D& }1 e4 I. n$ UDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 4 m: ?) ^3 n) C% A3 u5 v
their voices." 7 a2 W' F0 a& [- h7 w
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
$ T: i6 q7 a7 ^% H  f0 z& |! Wheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 0 h/ ]3 K8 O" Q, w$ A
three minutes are up." + B6 n! e/ f0 X$ I- s

" d' ?! w! t; c% H( ~Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 9 ^$ F1 C) B- C6 B0 E+ A
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.# S" c: x# P( o# ]" x

" p9 o$ M% e/ F4 FDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
" w2 w' k  `( F. Bman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
: D- C  K! K* M5 M: T0 P2 R: R& dhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
% n* F7 Y0 a  f) G% W0 H/ S! Z. w  Blegs.7 X+ L1 j1 z4 ~2 u; k! Y2 V- G

5 f- D8 q: ~/ b' C: s6 [5 M; }$ S4 WJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
! H" T6 B# }0 \* f% u* f' Hfight?" # i6 B) i$ m, W7 P2 h" J
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
  Y7 n* m5 `2 Q7 s' N8 j: W! m! J5 s; ga school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ! e/ l# t& w0 _0 u4 B. [1 t4 V. t3 k
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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