Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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1 b7 J) m6 S9 c1 G> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
0 H, y2 ?% A; A" X: a> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
  y; n& p& u; ~9 f% a> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
0 T3 I/ R$ Q+ o% G0 i$ b> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
7 c1 K9 w! N/ ~  O- g$ Z( c5 I  r> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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9 C( U2 E7 Y( B* L) @> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
1 @  H0 H% L9 B  a) d9 c7 D> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
4 E5 ^" \; z, j) {- B7 ]! x, a> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
/ ~; f2 b8 m# r0 ]4 t# \> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
0 ]8 q# s& z5 H4 z6 e> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
) w9 O/ \7 \4 F+ n8 s" I> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
( m- t- k, O9 _# _* i0 i: w( m$ F% m> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
: M3 @; k; W& t; H0 y# j/ p. p> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
- O1 t) B1 q) ^+ g> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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+ `7 D2 _: D% A7 t& M8 L) n> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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! S& ~4 @0 r' ^6 F, l> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
$ x! m8 x/ |2 J, X* f& R> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
5 t) k+ N0 ^: a& }" \1 g> > > >allow
+ c7 n, s1 c5 {& c0 ]! E1 ?9 ^! S> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
  w, g/ C* V" l% j7 \> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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5 h% U5 f/ v* H" Y7 D" e> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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( {4 K( L- N  M# ~" l6 N% t> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
4 @* D7 J, R( h, e( R  c, ]- |> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
: S/ v; \. Y/ n6 z> > > >same sentence twice.
2 ?: x7 x5 \2 \( Y; a# B. j> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
8 [. K2 h8 g& [> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
/ S/ l8 ?- |# O# C' @- ?' Y# |> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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; Z6 L' d2 o+ S* v6 [- Y) B3 v> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
9 p. S9 |; }6 |7 l. H! N: Q> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
3 [0 M8 I$ G1 A$ J7 C  T> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
  Y& d4 A+ ~1 L1 `2 q2 Z> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
2 h1 ]! E2 ^0 M. v> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business