 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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3 C& y. V) e( v$ i3 z1 A- M" XWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / |5 I9 o8 [$ F4 A
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: v( O: Q- Z# A9 ~# `9 o
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 o3 ]3 U$ Q Z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 u) m: G$ D& m) p7 Q
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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, m) j$ H X( q8 l3 WWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. W% G: V9 o8 d4 V B, u1 ]4 R
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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. S: e4 T6 B/ J/ f% ACondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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+ q% x+ e# A( z9 \2 @, yWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. , l" N* w/ u4 J% J2 P: L
) z# |4 k4 P- X. \% _6 J, \Rinse conditioner off hair./ f) E* S C+ j0 U. O
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Shave armpits and legs.8 k8 P. U0 D, S2 g
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Turn off shower./ i; K) `% V) u3 s! n/ N
( Z* m( f$ z7 n5 _/ |, J9 ?Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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% M/ P) Z. l/ K# S$ A( KSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * @5 f3 T$ k9 K. J! M
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 i l( M% f; |: m( x) V: O
4 N1 U" i0 e; f* x0 w& C5 fReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 6 |+ r8 e8 w" m0 \$ ~9 H
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : o: c! m7 D& E1 b) e+ H
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 v6 n' d; G7 k$ r3 q
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 7 ]9 Q! D S% Y
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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! F o0 ]- F" N/ y- ^Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 k" M0 S5 ~4 f i+ k5 |. F
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 \7 A+ [( V! O' u& z4 C0 M) L& E3 G
9 L9 j5 _ G+ j' k2 m y. sFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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& g; J+ t; F7 j3 P/ SSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 f4 _0 N# u/ Z; V) S6 I
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 8 q* @5 ^/ A8 Q s
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Pee. , g" d- W6 t8 s- l1 S, u" L0 a
( X+ i: B% u! m( DRinse off and get out of shower.
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1 q# M8 |$ p# p Q7 ^Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ) G5 H3 ]6 G3 i' e
- Z# k1 I0 F" a) y ^* sAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 6 |8 t2 J- c% o) z
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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. ~! k7 j! n3 J0 D' h' V& iReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + M, r. R& `' q) a3 ` q+ I* F$ j# z% {
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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/ A: a/ o8 |2 `$ R% Y. q$ [( HIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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