 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / n% U! ~' f B+ |" A$ I! n
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+ M i3 F! ]. P, e; D& k7 N! TTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( z4 [/ }' D) U- E2 U: ?
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : |+ i! h% M3 W* e. f2 N# M7 L
* p! k9 t" s$ K0 U: D) U3 k1 SIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., ^+ N0 i0 W9 j4 C
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
R) l+ z. |+ C2 f9 _) M1 z) gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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+ L5 `; {' L$ R! H2 n' mGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 d, b3 C- b; \; X: r# z
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 |+ O% u! y# f6 d$ B4 ?
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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* S+ c, a# R3 e6 NCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; Y& I3 O1 |3 h( c$ e
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + X$ u3 G, q% R% k
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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0 J' p) A4 e( G+ pRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.) y- h3 a+ j; S6 l
; Y7 U: \! ~# ?, A& n0 ^Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 F: t. |: z: x" o
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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! l8 }$ K# T4 O6 ?/ p" pWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' x7 g X( ?6 O5 h, Y! D& g
- n8 | ^ e: z+ ^1 ^( SReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 I$ R$ X- X/ L8 O5 u" ^' }2 c
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 0 I2 y0 z6 S) }- ~- B( ?0 D& \
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8 m2 H; d; a+ R# R9 t# |1 t9 pHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: $ p7 h- M0 R8 t! i
9 T6 I: c9 q- }$ e* U$ zTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 5 }/ b1 i( U; b1 P/ _& ?
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Walk naked to the bathroom.7 T8 J, V) U# ~0 a6 X
( G. r1 _$ V3 h+ K, UIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( i d! r# ~ }; q
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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( z8 N8 {1 i6 r" d' @8 qBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : W) h- U/ O/ c. I9 s: d4 M
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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& S# k. Q$ x* zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % Z2 J' o/ {, h0 s7 L- I+ }
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Pee. " |2 f# ]1 X7 W+ f1 q
0 ^. q9 f7 D' y( tRinse off and get out of shower.
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5 \# p8 l4 Q. XPartially dry off., k9 U" @1 T: G: u+ K; O0 K7 I
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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- N$ F3 J A) q' y2 t( U' \Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 W* d' _) p! o/ Q3 d. g$ C" J
3 _4 F7 L7 f0 w+ x6 fThrow wet towel on bed.
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9 [2 h8 r) \* U6 @9 CIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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