 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 |6 j1 r% E& E2 g8 t
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% W4 l$ d: t7 A1 [% J( @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.( }& W$ Y+ w+ Q1 b% k/ t
# q( V0 i; g3 B' pLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; A$ {9 n' B) Y# fmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 r: h+ }8 h, H' n
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ! Q, N2 F! T2 b% ?. ^3 Z! }4 m: l8 { f
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.. e/ j5 {" A+ N+ x! d. W
; U& b. B9 b! d( k" i8 yCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.& m% g$ @1 Z0 u& f4 i6 v/ }1 z
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Shave armpits and legs.
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" X2 Q& j) T3 n/ ~% L% {+ CTurn off shower.
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- A" s5 L. G! G" Y* dSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower." j# s; a" ]8 F- C
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 3 e9 ]0 m0 ~$ [& I, R1 \
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 N5 m' y' G+ D' Q) l
' o$ T2 M' {; F3 t9 }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 M! p4 }9 f. Z- ]1 ?5 n' \
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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/ F( t0 @8 x$ S; ~If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. h2 t2 L* w3 ~3 F: \1 \. j
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% [. ^3 {6 U8 R1 A% @HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) ^! J( B, ?3 R* A6 k
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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3 a" j( i0 L0 fWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. / \0 K6 B0 c& X. Q3 W
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 o4 c; N6 h4 a9 o
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / \6 R) k6 K ?( N) f5 J1 |
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / k* `( i: P( H! {7 u
4 ]9 e r0 O9 l6 tBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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, A$ e5 O/ G0 x7 j' |/ l$ kFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 d' Y% v5 J3 _/ n7 \# l
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 l7 G n/ F* Y z8 E# [
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 0 z7 k& q, K4 ~$ y$ r
: i; W+ d5 ?! v* K7 _Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. " K8 x( t# B4 c
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 9 F# ~" X5 w/ P+ u% r, b
' {& f# V& u0 w9 k2 r% K; k& jPartially dry off.4 z8 ^: c& E( E4 L( n
# r- L, ]6 a5 m& ^, tFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! |9 S2 P. o1 C! Z+ M( m6 e
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( e j! e# [' w
" S# i* v; U, H0 t) w% b& bLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. & i1 R: _! V. f/ S8 @$ L
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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