 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 o a' H6 I) \
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( w* }& Y3 {+ W3 X3 i+ a& q9 |Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( Z: r0 b5 V6 J, v
+ v2 ?" Q4 u, }( KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; ~ A( n- @4 f g; ]' f/ M2 m
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) M; _ s+ x! Z |' g$ K F8 I
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 1 [) T* K" X& @7 f0 X
6 O* G; p8 n3 H7 d$ MWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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4 _( `1 q* l- ]: OCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 b1 ~. n D, @
3 |) z6 Y+ H* R5 a/ u/ g) zWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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. }) b6 p2 u$ Q6 t. _Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ) F5 l+ o( A) G4 \6 s
( I7 F. Q7 C* h- g' G1 @6 w- ^ M( @: K" t) gRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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5 }6 j/ @8 U" n a2 mTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. , {) h% C+ N+ y9 J& k5 l
( z8 R# Y8 _4 V) |5 kGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ d/ z7 z; U( gWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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9 c. }) K5 {6 x- XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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0 O; e$ K# u; [" D/ w0 D$ g) Z% M% NTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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1 _9 c$ m) b3 e' {Walk naked to the bathroom.6 f- g0 v1 n8 g" t
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : L' v6 P: k9 j
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + ~2 I( p; l* |6 O( `
) E3 v7 O7 l" Z9 WFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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) g2 w0 `( R) J" |/ F3 o. JWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. y3 y G$ ^8 b& }
5 g: u# e0 m: D5 gPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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9 E" B) Z5 _) ~5 P3 o, f& Y2 IAdmire wiener size in mirror again. - O- a" `, o. Y8 N. {0 b; ?
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. . S4 U) U( k! c) a
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Throw wet towel on bed. ! }! u) D2 o5 @5 B* m% x6 r4 Q
& X( E1 e7 W5 U9 L8 a* PIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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