 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % _: s; w+ B7 N- d, g
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, ?$ M$ Z( u0 i3 Q* h. N% dTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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2 ~) \' F- Y+ r: g0 l1 a$ \+ c" A! PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( m k8 ^2 Z) H! }' g4 f
* K% ~& @: g, [* _- u. hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # }& x9 Y0 j; w1 X3 l3 Y% R" \( w
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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6 ^! `. I' t0 {; W9 rGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 F, p3 x w* `" u. W Q
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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! d3 f" R; |, h7 q% \& y c1 e4 gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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6 F/ z, K- j, k+ Z! u' SCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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9 h6 b7 \; a6 e$ y9 PWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + \6 G2 M- Q8 o
* Z, @- k& P3 J! |" VWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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$ T9 L2 p1 S% fRinse conditioner off hair.) t3 m% R/ ?' m( R7 |
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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; Q& S% D! l5 I* m6 a- xSpray mold spots with Tilex. ) E4 k) P& x" f U
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. : @7 W8 M7 V& ^. W( ]* x t S
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 {; `4 F: \- y: I9 v0 L/ Y
. J* v+ ?8 X4 LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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4 ^7 C4 V& @- w$ C: l8 AHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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! I, ^+ o# Q0 `! L5 A/ L' mTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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% A' g8 s% ]+ K& i/ V' `Walk naked to the bathroom.
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9 r" `) U) Y, w$ M/ I% aIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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6 i# q- g8 l( A# u5 o) E% p# b7 EAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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( a) b" \ N# XFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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. s% K" d& e" n% ?9 z' PSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. $ Q5 X, u9 N- v* s9 q
( a2 y) u' {. m; e& U7 a1 ?Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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" n/ y1 \$ f! D9 YRinse off and get out of shower.
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( z* _2 {+ [% f% [Partially dry off.9 [0 | [/ F: K0 o" R N) ~
9 G1 g' ?3 @4 p- G( WFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( |" X- R+ M6 _( |9 v: B
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 `6 m2 N" [# {1 f' Y
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # Q- I4 r L9 d- X4 A
4 h9 v- U: b0 B1 C/ x( V! m) nReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 X) s* X h* S$ }) H
, E3 m& j4 Y7 C G% B3 N/ c# f0 yThrow wet towel on bed.
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) O+ ^( ], D% r0 K3 M, yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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