 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 O& q/ A4 }0 ~0 p
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : }$ U" O1 S: A0 f7 g; g8 N( e2 b
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* i- G" @) A h, L% R/ Y
3 U1 N! K: d+ h& \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 ~- c% c) R' S" V
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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* V$ U/ E- x5 \4 W! l ~. GGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' H/ `. p" Q6 K
8 }$ K1 W2 n) E QWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 ]8 ~" w" A) U2 s1 C$ }" U, i" R
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ \: z [8 C: K- ?+ }1 C
# p. B7 G2 k) ~ @8 S* DCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* L9 b$ u% q0 M
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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/ C1 f5 b& q, L% Y" _* ?) S/ ] PRinse conditioner off hair.* t- ]1 @ G+ E6 v# N( X0 Q
) x. z( C; n" @5 O& I4 W/ H; kShave armpits and legs.4 {* H/ n# q$ x
/ I2 M# D- z$ {4 r, ~/ q% QTurn off shower.* ]1 r2 p+ e& T; j- U: \
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower." R/ ?$ j* Q" Z( G; a% T1 k
* h, C( @! |6 h: d" Q) tSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 F* {' C: A _2 v8 G: _
' u6 V/ i5 d+ H4 U/ FWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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0 |; |( G2 _$ o7 v+ gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # N9 j7 E2 c& j( E' u
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 w( W) l o; N6 B# O
6 b7 X t Z5 v3 U( r1 U" `- BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 H) O; t) `0 ^2 U0 l$ o
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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. s% K$ r, z! e" wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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" U9 `- P& K& E$ v ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - J( Q8 p. F2 ?+ ?4 R
; U% r0 f7 {' v; fBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " d3 o+ d0 H5 p9 b4 s$ L. e
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - l* V1 q( a) R1 @7 ~
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * m/ ^/ j. y% k0 H$ z; Q4 U
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Pee. 4 l: H6 Y; e1 y1 a' A
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. + h, H1 l4 X( d, I
$ ~9 {3 `7 Z2 I7 X1 FAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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" e5 m, s' @, j+ W! Z4 j- z. zLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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2 f" z" f v* z% G2 h fThrow wet towel on bed. 7 b5 C3 p9 |# ]' W; G5 a0 j) o
. _3 Z$ R( d. s. u& d, \9 mIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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