 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 e/ X- H. \/ A) _ M, i0 f; y
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6 h# q; E/ Q9 g4 X4 @* F% f; XTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 r$ o9 u: J* f- X- f; ~# _
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ L/ V5 c0 G! M* @/ N/ umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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e& n0 v: l( G2 _& s3 x* {# d) kGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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% {8 d) \& V) Z5 R8 e# SWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' ]4 t$ [- M# N- a3 q; U
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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+ X' [- r" } D4 ~( @- ]Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. v/ h, W! V8 B* f' k4 z( s1 n+ Z
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Rinse conditioner off hair./ G1 ]5 l L" n
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Shave armpits and legs.
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* r4 F U% h2 L6 @) [0 i$ mTurn off shower.$ Z" e# U3 r+ M L7 Q
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower., Z) k5 s, n) k* g3 F# K3 V! t6 A
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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4 V7 g8 r) ^/ x1 t9 OWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 3 w& X. D, h2 Q9 G- T% q
i6 U9 l3 a- B: _+ vReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 | ?' j- |. H, ^
: }8 h3 A0 c" Z7 I3 tTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 9 O7 G5 v& M5 L$ g% K0 S0 u# Z; y
1 b. ]3 E8 R$ b* A f- UWalk naked to the bathroom.* |5 H+ E& ^2 ]0 G n
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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8 s: Y; `7 |- a9 zLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * A& }; Y* |( W
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 L6 d, g/ `7 u; {0 F, T. f
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 _7 ?5 P _( x$ [( z
- ^$ ^* @4 H* N3 e0 |: MSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 1 p5 V: U% s. |7 n& a
6 b l z1 T9 i* c2 fWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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0 L/ I. d0 J) E+ d6 }Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. ; [2 `* T1 b4 T! b. R/ y
6 O+ m1 N( \( y2 K- X1 O8 CRinse off and get out of shower. 7 x% c& ^& X1 j7 H/ i' ^
6 e# J0 z8 I7 n! nPartially dry off.6 e6 n+ X2 V! w: R
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * }+ c3 v2 X- p; S# @
! I% n; F, a) S$ g WAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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# k7 @0 \! b* h; y5 d9 Z' F$ }4 dLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " |/ V) ^' B6 R: t1 E- U
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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1 Z- E @0 P$ ?/ {! \1 ^If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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