 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.2 ^, O( F3 R* B( A
: o3 j. v5 Z7 A' N* D6 t6 |$ wWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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2 {& r! H" I! b3 [9 r2 o, E7 }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.7 A- E/ ?. \ w! ]
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * g! V/ z% ]1 f4 ?1 v/ F
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 z; I0 f5 p1 d) x4 U2 M& b
, S8 `; y2 q' s5 O4 EGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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% [- d6 c8 |* n3 E% q+ \Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 O" y3 f4 Z' G8 v& H [5 x
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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/ H7 ]5 S4 P) mSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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1 O n5 d0 D1 ySpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. / m5 L* @4 s$ ~5 G% k
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : d! J4 j, W& ]
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3 ]9 p$ G5 t( A. _ \* OHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: . e- p0 q7 F* E& h
. E& y6 R- U: P. Z, RTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 f* g1 M: j& S7 W, J
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % W ] c, Q! c$ @% J. r+ A
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * A6 ?# d: I5 ^
$ Y6 A: M1 r/ Q9 g2 R" t* H: @/ DAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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, P' g# v: C" Z2 X# c& b2 r1 mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ; r( T- Y' i: w
! C* I7 X5 F8 `" dBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! ~. q$ o; P7 j8 k3 A. [
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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, X$ d1 A- p5 \* M0 h; b) mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. B6 D% c6 V. f- J" e. ]Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. : n. k& m( s+ \+ _; z, l
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Rinse off and get out of shower. . y) M8 R# r5 T5 @ Z1 V
2 E+ N; ]; z5 y# t+ F) |7 sPartially dry off.
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- z2 m7 N3 _- ^1 e4 {) `Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( r$ d- T. U4 ], P8 x+ e" T7 i
' L( G( R1 I: l( C+ N# mAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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# P( ^- ?7 G/ ULeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; d2 ]9 \! G2 q# r
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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, `& ^: H0 {# @, _% f s( dThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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