 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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5 c9 W' r8 s1 y) T8 L, nWhy did God make mothers?( n6 B, Y9 a1 {) h
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.% P8 @5 ]6 S5 ?' _9 l/ ]7 ~
2. Mostly to clean the house.
* o# h4 Y0 U; H: r, G7 x6 u0 I9 T4 I3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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" T# g9 k5 \) q" b D* uHow did God make mothers? + S) t7 p" k2 f9 X% m0 ~
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us." t/ t& c7 H% S# y/ r
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
5 l% }( p% V) ^# ^- v! c3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. ) E$ C( j; s2 q9 _! i$ \% x+ z
0 j6 l$ d: @ w L8 KWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? 8 n' ?( e4 [ M4 f1 S0 @$ Z; U7 l7 \
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
P/ V5 G7 b6 `2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? " k7 C7 g6 w1 o7 a6 g
1. We're related.* {, V. q' B! A
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
1 p9 R8 C/ i4 J1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
! L! t& E7 O* u( H5 C; ?1 C2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
' q k9 {4 }7 C8 n3 e" ?4 i3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1 H2 n6 K. O1 L9 e0 s
1. His last name.) y( S% n! U: i6 _8 S) g
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?& Z8 y ^% N( C) y, s; Q: n
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
' J1 k0 G) I7 R; H# k0 c. N1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
; ~0 j' S5 W, k2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
* ~$ e9 _. W% w, \, K7 K3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house?
* k, P" t% K: |( J: n; b1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. " R% g6 M" W& q$ [2 ]$ D0 g5 G
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.1 C- V6 C' H! E! v
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. , Z' s5 d- f- E* V9 R$ W& L
+ l) q% {! U+ B t* N, X! N$ @What's the difference between moms & dads? ) i4 c) _' p% E. P
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. * s0 _( i* _0 R" W
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
% P& r; x, g+ G: l6 D3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
5 W5 W" s+ }. a. K6 s7 m) R4 \% F4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. , U/ o4 _) _3 d) v" ]
x5 ]& G) `( P1 i& FWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
2 R' h$ a# p2 u1. Mothers don't do spare time.
' {" X: _ k$ X2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 6 l1 G. W# }0 X8 E
! Q [, h9 \3 n9 q$ uWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
, N2 d6 H$ A+ i" R8 H) T }1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.& O1 R$ ^7 I y i( P1 r. I
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. % o* e1 @, q6 f4 [3 y' g
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
5 E5 x& ~/ C+ P- [1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. * g1 D! i# g" O. R
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
: X, }: E7 y( q- V2 h3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. / I. \' q6 k5 D7 `; e7 k
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