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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house. o+ [3 s1 C4 n ~9 a% u+ U7 p+ d) h
' k/ A1 L: B7 E2 ^: q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ k/ A7 }. ~) V5 H1 C3 h+ S" z4 d/ T: ]7 T
hospital.- ^4 w, P) x( l: u0 n; [2 B I4 \
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& V& X6 B* ^+ q" ncapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 q9 s) S2 u. D4 R9 i9 p0 c
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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5 i: a# X& U% H8 U3 e/ [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
7 D* ]: [: O7 ?, F. V, |& L$8.00/hour., V C4 w+ W" ^: Q% i' H
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) o+ ^2 E5 \7 w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. U' ]- Z' ?0 ^$ K4 t$ s
on a 15 year holiday ?8 {) I1 K& j/ [1 S% D; L: A
' @% P. w8 X! H; D& M 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ q- _) H) l9 V: Oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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0 S* w4 {& o. Y7 G) y5 c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
. m x1 r+ I! ]here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% K# ^/ C! q8 w) _/ w
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 _- G+ w; t, u2 [) g5 E2 D D
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' } H8 w% }& R2 l+ c2 K+ ?5 q# }3 O/ j0 A
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& }4 q( a( y& i6 Q& B
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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$ A. c0 Q% n+ x3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 L* _/ K: h! Z7 L2 K) down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, k' t$ u6 A* g2 l: D# e9 Q) Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ Y, w- Y1 `. K# k' q0 u& Pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( t3 O n% p; S$ F- G( H- d8 m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ r; o- |/ ^. [8 }, [* b7 j
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ O1 c# [/ ^0 {, @+ @- r) ^* M P7 ocan get you shot.5 [1 N& i8 W; Z$ I' y
9 a! D/ B, c% N. f6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 t- T/ h3 U+ zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 I7 X$ K) D% [% s# y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 P! n: c9 ?# X2 s/ a9 F! K( g- G: Dmore construction starts everyday.3 ^' ~/ E' X9 x+ H7 S3 T+ N7 |6 k
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# O3 {, V9 o& ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 j8 H9 \* I$ |% c- U: lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 a3 I7 A7 P9 v! |8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ ?5 |0 E& O2 O. Cthe same road.# h; v7 j7 h4 i, {+ [7 ~
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 u1 E, N3 u8 W- x
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 U. r9 A o0 I) J0 {
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, P) c( s3 o; O1 @4 t
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; _4 R0 [. m; daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 y: F/ u' b: ]2 e7 }8 |
9 C+ y4 o' g7 m1 K _11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' l6 X9 [: z* L1 q' s+ Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; E9 K# A3 J) G
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ H7 _- n" K' }* _9 \2 j7 Tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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