送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 S# b& ]) `1 Q6 e& acapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) @2 y4 \2 _) |+ [ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
9 r  C& z. u6 |1 L% K- m( C2 [+ Mcapital of Canada .
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, i8 u) z7 x3 o4 ~. ] 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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0 p; Y  w8 x$ ^& { 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 R% V* |3 u; }3 A/ J4 m" o7 {prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

! L  \5 M( o$ `5 w2 T# a10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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8 y$ M, o$ @  r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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  j( v8 m$ d4 m: p THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

5 f: M/ B8 d  |) Z, T# r( u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 [5 _5 p( ^+ ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( f9 H0 o. O+ [phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( B7 \- {: a6 Z: ^6 u# M, N1 R6 Kcan get you shot.

1 K* j0 D# Q6 }. P1 X- C2 ?9 [& @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. c& P8 o& r3 W& r8 F9 ~7 ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 K) I0 e1 X4 b/ {6 fmore construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ d1 o! R" e: ~/ ]# Ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
  c9 \3 F( T7 T' u, n% Gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ B- _: f- v+ \% N9 g/ l6 Q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

( r, p: P" X' t9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 b! G% ]3 x2 P; m) lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# v0 y' C8 q/ }2 y$ P) E3 F1 aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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7 N  P$ f1 J/ U1 T: F11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& W2 Q) o8 l! p% X9 p% ?: o1 llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
8 G3 Y9 H" k' }1 G8 m有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


: m0 u, k& c0 g8 @ 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

) B8 t( h6 ?* A5 T' a* `这么刺痛你了吗？
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) ?) x' b8 @) n" }4 }! Z! [8 U我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
+ F+ z& U8 y: L! l9 w& ?! N满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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/ \9 g8 V1 p& w8 |8 d7 o( [& S3 R再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.