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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ H2 W% ^( y8 F) X1 |
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' z/ c& x& c- i 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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+ G9 _! t* a; `$ Y0 e& O, ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 n4 a" c; F# b( y9 Rcapital of Canada .! F% H% q1 L; G# V) P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ J# L! O3 n# T9 b' Y
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 o/ }& Q8 e8 K5 n0 ]$8.00/hour.0 v; ?9 S; L9 [2 W+ f* R; I9 r
7 f$ V' R& W, L% F: K9 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' P4 S/ @ {9 ]7 k" @: K% t: W+ l
- G0 `+ G9 t8 Q C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 j/ N. e' o2 y* Z6 uon a 15 year holiday ?9 F5 h$ L( ] Q& r$ K& `3 [
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas& Z: M, T; ~: ^5 u/ O3 p9 w$ q
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 a) J3 k& T+ f u k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 I6 S. T7 z, d9 s7 j
here sick.
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& U; x; [ N; n$ E5 d' ~( ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 B1 R: K( y8 S2 Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ Q9 [5 u1 b% |4 q0 E+ |- I
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' X. I2 l( r8 V% C9 s2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( J+ ?+ v, l& J7 y* }, | I
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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4 Y4 ?6 ?( l7 D3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ S( Q0 d+ t5 D2 i4 @" p% T9 d. xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 C+ ?9 T2 H, a" o6 i: i2 T0 s( R7 }muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ _3 y% m, Q5 q* r2 Ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* W9 O7 P6 S) ?/ b- h- Vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ F" [+ F7 D4 m5 b% g) o5 j$ i4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 P% {# G p1 H* c% d& d
cussed out, and possibly shot.# {, o5 m: {$ M: p& @
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 D) |+ L' I0 w$ w0 H% Ecan get you shot.
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- m n( h% o# W8 @' V* y$ d6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 Q# `4 W* S c$ x6 e; k
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' u3 t- l. {# |( p- F7 c- D
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; B* [$ z- c+ @. P' Ymore construction starts everyday.% p' X7 Z) W( U2 s m! W( m
; ^7 i, ~2 e. U5 \ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, I% _3 ~4 |2 ^! N: {! z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# G3 P) u8 u6 J4 A) ?1 [8 {3 psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! o( D0 `( G% j# Z( \: c
the same road.) f7 v" N7 l7 {5 T
9 p/ N3 R: _! ?0 l/ ?9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* B7 Z/ ^ z5 @$ H# O# T' p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 J# Y" I: ~: a0 d
activated."
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/ k! g, d* o" v q. q, O, x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 |& v c1 j4 Y4 X9 O( {
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% y$ l# {7 l1 S% }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ k* E2 W. |# f8 a1 a( i( m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% m- t: F2 U6 c: P0 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; s1 k# e9 L( H0 Y7 ?# j/ Wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& z' ^0 k) x+ {* h
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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