送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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2 f  X' j# A- a9 p- q 1. Bring your own house.
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& t7 ]2 s8 d; C' }  A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

, J8 [/ }6 I( Y, c1 B- m 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& K4 A6 i( E% v2 Y' Scapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- \2 K* `- A# K7 ? 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 o1 G9 l2 S( C3 wcapital of Canada .

! q! q* F% j+ X8 m, B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! J1 v1 n- j4 n3 u6 L# \- t$8.00/hour.
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- ]4 W/ N9 B  h% {" W 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) D4 U3 M: `6 i# m) ]6 g  T0 Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 n3 v! L: k6 N# K% Xhere sick.
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/ P2 @0 i) y  v7 i6 L3 P+ B11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1 Q# `# D/ C8 h- }1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

: d) y5 ~- Q$ e$ t1 S* z$ s0 l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& Y( d, y" Z2 X+ e0 }4 i: N% Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; I5 o# _1 X' D1 G1 k4 d, f4 I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ [% Q" x, w# w* Z( L, L4 D% c: \/ p7 vcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! z5 p# L4 Y. I7 Ican get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! N$ o7 o6 x$ s# Umore construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 Z2 x2 d/ Q9 X9 z. [4 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; f) j; A5 P' f( U' v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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  @' g" l: q7 `5 `: Y4 L/ B! ?9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. H4 m1 @" h5 X" g) j: v# zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" [5 ?  O5 T$ @: y1 Z  i, O# y& P# dactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. d# ?) o( P/ i5 @* szone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% r7 J5 i) f9 S) G11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 m1 W, W( }% glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" f# y. o6 c7 U# A' ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
8 f$ l+ \! _  n) e朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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) b8 ^  n. f$ G; H$ V8 M! ?5 r) i; H 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

. A5 V" s2 _; }; }" n6 d这么刺痛你了吗？
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; K& n# Z6 y1 c$ y' i4 ^) V8 D我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.