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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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% ?6 e! i* U' \# V4 S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ {" C8 M n* I. ^ J' R" Q6 p
capital of Canada .
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7 d1 @+ \! T. W$ l8 b3 |& { 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .$ G9 P( p, _/ H! `% B/ a [$ k
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# m% ^4 ?9 q; W4 m0 O% Xcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 R. Z5 C$ W/ X$8.00/hour.
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1 {$ ^/ t8 _/ B+ \ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: N4 ?( |: D# N# h$ {* H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. }9 M y; C) e4 k! @
on a 15 year holiday ?
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. {6 [' A: P. w* r2 ]7 S' H1 D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. V3 B) z; X' F/ O: {9 @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 j+ X( d5 M8 Y
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' ^1 K/ O9 P8 @- j
here sick.2 {" [8 ?/ z3 R% P9 t$ R' d
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: S$ w6 g1 B( X8 o* y2 ]
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ \2 G! V, k A: H% \
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ C$ C2 V8 h& y; \: F4 p. p \. K
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% f( ?* l; O/ X i6 q" a2 @% eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 Y Z# W2 G6 U v* K. r5 B: v* ]8 J9 N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# z# X# J: L+ O( u: N% D9 W. K, N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
f$ ~9 W$ {+ Jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 v8 \6 Z/ a; F+ k0 u" m
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 m4 F! g' l( `$ e; u3 Kcussed out, and possibly shot.( t! W2 L7 U4 _
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 `1 A L/ `* ~+ dcan get you shot.
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- a+ b# n: j2 [2 h4 b- M, P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 ~" a. [2 \# S4 T3 c& j9 m9 s2 Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 o6 d# _ ?( w6 y, M' R. {( d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 Y6 v' z2 R$ ^$ c$ y4 C1 W
more construction starts everyday.& h+ l: s& g3 g* {7 h; |
' U1 s! g6 R/ K; E8 w: j+ c+ G 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 @4 [, p8 `9 g0 C' q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 _' @# _& |$ |& _) k
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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5 x* A! o+ Y0 E1 ]8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ n0 ~* `1 O$ n
the same road.
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: Z7 S4 A+ |: R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) F& b7 P; r0 j! K g k* u( u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ p/ X: X! a, ?: R% X2 r% T
activated."& @: J* i; ?& f) K; L
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) M7 `" a! h% e, o$ d4 i5 A4 r! Hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& S2 @9 f( }5 m& A0 j, @5 caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( R! n3 e% V) ^; G/ \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ t# A) @, U0 ?, {+ d1 J! w5 Eblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) f( l4 [6 J) l; X( c) o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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