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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.8 c; [5 v3 Z9 u* Q0 s
4 a4 m2 r7 I8 c7 ]: m 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 W$ g7 d: H1 ^hospital.( c) b& d2 J0 `& H4 E* s1 A
0 O$ c/ v3 b/ V. W' i N" K3 s; C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: _$ F) H0 k! N% b/ X
capital of Canada .- r* b* s$ H9 t$ ]$ f# l$ U
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .$ ?+ V- _; I0 v y
; ]! X' t# [5 [' V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug4 x! H9 B& j1 X' T X
capital of Canada .3 \- t9 Z% z, \
& \- X2 E! T- O1 G$ g4 R 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* ]8 x" a7 @' j3 L" B1 T3 g8 m$8.00/hour.1 S. d9 H& C8 Z n
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 c7 U+ L& C7 i" f6 T8 u, J9 _% S/ i
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* _! }. l$ x8 Z4 O' a& f6 Con a 15 year holiday ?$ H/ |6 _, u- Q- G# h' j' H
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# q0 u& ^0 f0 Y' }5 `* Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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R7 m* a# `; ]8 n6 i9 C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* I$ a; \- @( q/ Q; P" y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., f) a# b# C2 H& m
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4 t4 I: G: z2 G; f, D. J THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" u+ p# R' J5 j" q, l% \
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. v* A+ j, }* @. ^
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, R9 w N# k2 ]# S3 E
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.- u6 f0 m/ D$ j& e: x" Z
+ d7 Y2 B( h$ |/ E; p3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. G2 r2 n) @+ s! R& eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 i7 j' ^2 N) S) g" f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 s2 N5 b" @$ R
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 J o8 o& y- e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. [# t& ]3 K. X
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! l& H w0 h/ j# b1 f
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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* G9 P# T* l4 x/ k! w. a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 B C# k* l1 Q" }1 mcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 [* a1 |- h1 j2 {2 lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 H; ^9 m% M* S- P& d+ M+ l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" f/ v+ H/ E# f$ Z
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" @/ w. n) t, t* z h- o; ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( d9 X9 k9 B9 z" d* ]9 Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; @9 [3 F! J5 L8 U9 ?+ R+ bthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
8 b7 q# a# k, ?; n! g- H8 e3 fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; z2 H$ T* `* E( D" V* j( H; ?
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% L+ y" y7 L5 i1 ^* ~+ v- Xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% {) {6 O4 Y5 y& g' [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ j& H& P9 {- V1 N0 p
; F' J7 o( I4 a3 I$ P" b11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- H* [" P7 O% ?" x" t4 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) R0 G3 u+ k0 R2 M6 A0 o- b ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 o+ E! l9 D, ]( lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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