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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' k' g6 n. x0 q% {# ?
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1. Bring your own house./ P+ }" D2 C, ^+ f5 s* x
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# @% y6 {2 B" |* M( i, Y
hospital.
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- i: b# x+ i) i: f8 G/ V9 n$ H$ l 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# y& I# z- m9 Fcapital of Canada .- s+ X6 {+ e% H# e$ {2 p4 U; b
5 U: w& v% W* V: z- ^4 ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# j! p# c) [( q9 w; D) s
, c6 q I9 e: g& ^! y$ d7 | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 f) p6 r0 D! \- g
capital of Canada ., t7 U$ g1 u4 J# L
6 ~: x/ N% h' q3 t% ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" Z1 y. i. J3 D! M3 o0 d! G6 x
$8.00/hour.# A% R4 i; H+ ^5 _- U6 f
8 R3 D% [4 p" j( }; o0 ^! @7 f% { 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 r) \( \) U6 v6 {% don a 15 year holiday ?3 F3 v$ G. x- C
# y8 S) ]2 Q' U: R6 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& z) a6 C5 f& ~3 X% |9 dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 s& F) d* b" ]% H) P* q. Y
_0 b* k- h' \* r) ]& P10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ K3 s G, x2 D G3 V! m! {" K# U8 I
here sick.: c0 `1 W, Q/ a& t
% |# c8 D7 X3 }4 E% \1 S2 ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 }( c; z- q, t
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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F7 V6 T+ |0 } q4 K6 [1 `) D( q THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 B5 u0 L* V% R5 x
6 d' p* u, }- p# \' L: B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., w+ x2 y* E" D
3 @ \' A0 C" q8 M5 z; ^2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 p1 T2 o! C2 Z: n1 o' Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. V2 E: }! g! V' u( i$ o( b# m5 ]
' j& S" B5 i' e" t/ Z1 c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- \- ?- J8 E) E
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 A8 N5 `4 O- M- X6 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 c5 g# y+ Y4 H' M- Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) a: r! T5 Q1 Y# a2 x+ Mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 P5 @* o- l ]* Y2 Ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 V, I! w9 z4 v5 O; Ycan get you shot.' u: G- a8 o G) O2 _+ Y6 ~- s" y
7 ]$ B j0 i: D+ q# B4 x2 {; x, Z, c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ n$ j& ~4 r6 Z* Ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 Q; V+ V4 P1 `& n# f& R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 W3 |7 k, b4 C- Q) Xmore construction starts everyday.2 Q e& S; @1 K9 j) D" U
1 V' y0 f. N( _% W) h6 g3 G) a 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* G" Q/ s: D r- U% w W" d' ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) i0 g e- X# H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 i. K1 r. _1 L4 }+ s
the same road.
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, B; T3 w6 Q" l" N$ P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ l& [) b T: Q; b6 {: |2 Jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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+ `3 Y3 A! I" Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" |+ C4 s# A( lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 h2 [2 r. b/ k8 Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 {# W2 f( o) b, @) \8 b
, W; F( D6 v( X4 X w0 r$ I/ O8 ?11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: V2 z& v1 V& K! y8 L7 u! z! E7 l) l
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 b4 p" H' ~" S, W; a
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. S! S+ w* ^/ S5 ~virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
