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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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$ Z/ A5 {/ _2 Y) ^/ e 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, U0 d# n( c a. J: C7 q5 u, n
capital of Canada .* z$ ~& z9 M# V! D$ q, I8 @+ C
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% B# A6 n* ]+ n; N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ E& D+ G3 c( @7 s
capital of Canada .
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0 x3 T! K1 M' {8 g8 t9 W$ l 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ I' e) M& C+ y2 N4 Q9 Y( M4 _8 J
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." ^0 _. B7 Y, Y/ u; p% ?8 d0 m
V. x/ n9 L7 Z# y0 H x. Q1 K4 p' b 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( H2 w1 ~: b }! s$ W
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 |9 t$ \( r9 s2 B& m7 V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 \- ^# t( F/ y+ e# c1 h" |, O
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c8 u7 D p/ K1 [) D, ^ z z ? THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour [. e2 P7 o$ V3 w6 ?/ B
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& K5 ?- T& H: u! A+ _# K3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. ^& P/ H {8 i9 u% g. Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, _! R, E/ l/ _: c; W
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 t1 z3 q' S8 `! m8 m
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ [ O! q0 j4 d3 y& m& `) h0 P
can get you shot.4 x5 p! l: [2 A0 l' f
; I; J6 `4 ?8 Y: h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 V" a1 T* |8 r1 b1 c$ H$ W, a+ g- t% t- Q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: M- [6 x* J/ y( I. X: P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 W+ J, o' K. R6 L+ b& Z* P' i
more construction starts everyday.
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! a @; y9 e1 g) y6 a! Z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) }9 Y. s6 W' k& g4 _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% |: h6 _8 X) J( g& r) R' H6 H0 s5 isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 I, v+ i! G0 m9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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3 n, V( o& @/ z- r$ |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 k$ ~# Z9 ?5 x0 N6 t. y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( O; E' g1 J# j) a
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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7 V9 d2 a; {$ S* L) K11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 p+ R$ J: u0 L- D6 a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
