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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 q6 j, G% A" T* g+ r m. o
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\' v m5 a# }6 }" @ 1. Bring your own house.* k' ^; L3 F0 U7 i* c
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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5 j z& l& A; P3 o$ L5 Z# a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* p' `$ f$ F- d% U0 ?! b" o* Dcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& ?3 f( z( _$ S: U; P
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 y4 h% U$ o2 r. J$8.00/hour.
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3 X1 N5 @9 G$ _) i' t3 P0 d 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 ^3 ^7 T& ]) N( O" H/ c
: g. @1 o9 @6 e. `% r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* S! `2 u3 _: b ]/ qon a 15 year holiday ?
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; R/ ?+ J; `9 P9 L 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 ^+ M( G, n$ L9 ?! h! \# L q/ O4 a3 Hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* D- ]# B$ B9 c1 Z9 n" F! t
, s; X# ^ X. r; V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" Z: o8 L* X$ d3 N* O, y; Ghere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! }% Y* A. K2 c; F* l5 a
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) Z2 }/ `: d/ w. e' w
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- X& N q1 t- h! E6 Y2 S) N' z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
. G" D/ d: z7 S+ d dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' ^( |, R0 _5 P u+ w u5 H. d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. i1 q, ]& \8 a8 A! K& i
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ z. K" ~. i' F i& \- F
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* a S7 o8 p/ K! Q: W! x; w" Y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% q* l. g+ g: D9 L/ P4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ G; N1 T5 M/ n. Y9 l; ]. b6 {5 Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& G' @' t0 E- A! {& R- S1 ?
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ E& B1 V1 t) b+ L; [6 D, {barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& x* S; f0 W6 @0 n) R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" \( x4 ~: ]5 i+ R5 d' @
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 P# J( P- K! h; {7 R, L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 P+ p( y( g3 q3 b; S
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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# ]3 g2 V o' ^: d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 G% `! z; T1 `) ^ P% i* k
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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/ ~) x6 B" u8 {# ?' B+ L1 e10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* |8 \) W4 U6 Z2 r% Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% t1 {( i6 e8 V8 L! Daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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* i! J) T0 [* y4 _, k4 H7 ~$ e11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- I6 y% [7 ]) G" i1 m1 K' Y3 x
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 n' A1 O/ K* D$ D- E5 V% `blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& a* S0 Z- z. G1 @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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