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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA& u" M0 z- q Q" v; n
( y! ? w# `8 S# t9 s( ?- i1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. , |% P; p3 u$ y3 \- E3 r; X
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
) v z/ n1 k+ b3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. . n7 o" I7 s7 ]. u# A+ A
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
; Y+ Q! G; y; p0 W5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA [6 j; q1 g/ S+ j
3 X2 H' z! R/ t( z: ^& c: `& o1. Big rock between you and B.C. & s0 M8 q& F" {6 w9 {% d
2. Ottawa who?6 H" x. ?% \! m# V( k, ~9 ]# _, }
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
, Y% z7 G, ^' M F' Q$ |- {4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
) @4 N5 K- ?9 N5 w/ O5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
* k9 F& b/ g9 F- S' v c1 E+ R6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. % S9 R; k/ k4 `$ v2 i
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) ?3 A" T; Z! C6 q' \; |! |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN * h2 U% n( x" A
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1. You never run out of wheat. : q" n0 V- u9 d) r# S
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
) N; Z5 Y! |, R1 P7 v8 f7 h+ K! I. N3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
% k3 P0 @% @4 N% `2 ^5 {4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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! Z |2 m1 i' L, j: Z. ` s V2 I1 C U1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 4 v9 _0 I& `* l5 m8 s. ~* _" ~
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
7 }, n" k1 @0 M$ G% W9 l w u3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
5 z) K& o8 e& G1 d4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
' v! w V! ^) Y: w3 Q/ j5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. # O, l/ y" s4 a9 \6 p
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" |; v; i$ t( l7 I) ^. N. [TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. ; Q( {4 `4 l' t1 l
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. # z" ]9 q( @0 Z& S5 Q; @
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ; O; E7 M8 @9 p5 U+ t& z A6 [; Z8 A
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. , m# b+ c2 ^+ l0 y2 f; h
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 8 M. t' o* w3 Z; d& A% r' q
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. . j$ p2 G5 g q
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
/ s1 t1 b' \2 ^! l; v3 [! k4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
- D9 ?6 D! \* R' E. j0 JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 7 _/ O- G) d7 [. ?' ?
) k7 I; ]* F1 @+ W$ ?& [; o8 n1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. % T; m3 [8 G# \4 ^* X
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 9 P" a* u* Y" F3 H6 u
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
) E1 |4 t Z+ l, P# w) o6 d4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 1 o% K7 t, ]8 i( z: V$ a
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. , t8 ?1 t4 o E9 u G# `9 M
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ) [9 D/ Q' s. R. u, t
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. $ U6 j% E4 _+ e+ A- \2 i
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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8 D- {8 k, Z* _( q% a& k8 M8 q1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ; _5 T. H2 S/ Z- n
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. $ ~5 {8 u* m) c8 R c1 i9 l) M
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
* h) Y8 T- z" P8 a* r' c3 Z4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." ; N, R* X* n# |# D( k0 e* }! F+ e
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
2 M& x ?! a: f" U/ I$ p8 i" C6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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' m2 P( T: }* x* RTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND ' J7 c8 W6 _& u' |: r
$ P, T+ P" H9 |& ?' F: g1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 5 f, Y6 a; k! t# I: h
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
; Z5 J D9 F9 Q# X( _% p3. The workday is about two hours long.
0 E2 _7 K" ?+ n6 a4 H% S0 _4 e4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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