In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
0 n) g" T6 J$ l9 D# I
1 @% l1 N8 e. U8 FIn the garden of my heart
6 D+ n! _+ p- L; l% {& _You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
9 U" N; ]- z" NDevoured my sorrow by thee

; d: v& o1 x0 B7 a( KIn the memory of my life
) Z9 U# a8 S: E3 V* o8 {You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
1 ~% l" m- L* p* R- s; PSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me

* V" j! V% o0 N4 c- E5 Q4 t[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
+ h0 D# A. ?6 K& B, q听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
0 c  I2 {; x7 U0 F- N" N9 m& S
2 `  a4 ?4 [, \9 \In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
: M& A/ B- w. J/ o. F+ d+ kThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
% u7 Z- m, x: E# G& ?Devoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
6 e; c. Z3 u, e" R, C9 Q# F+ ]* Q
# b) i) {9 H; k写得真好。
: I, ~- L/ Z/ L# Z
1 G( a' A% e( G+ H0 ?5 C* h! t加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
. M: K+ a- b3 ?3 L" S眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
7 z* i+ o( M7 Z: F4 F8 d写得真好。
加精加精！

6 C2 }/ V& `9 e, ]: a我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
# e: s3 n( X# S* m0 Y, }如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

/ v, O+ h: {9 p- L4 F2 k* k9 n五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
) E- o: V) e' O2 O% X. e" O7 WShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
% s# J. @9 e- S5 h4 B/ g
2 e/ R: @) k$ P2 fSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

6 v- ?- A* d! R: I9 ^Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
$ M  M* f/ |0 ~; l) e. t
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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' ?. c* q3 m  s" }Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
4 ?" y  d! {& }. `' O4 }thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

3 p& a4 |  ]) B; I
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
) Z0 o5 j5 b; @% M: a% C9 ?) p8 Zthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
) F; m1 `2 e! d0 A* w
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 x$ Q" ]: E* R, X; Q$ X6 p
有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
. x, @! e# I! ~; c% S3 E/ }
' n3 z" @1 o% {( _# _5 Y' U3 K# rDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
; N/ g5 o' c- K3 P" i% u; E* w9 a7 tIf I'm missed, find a flower,
. X' a4 I, S8 M: X3 y% y# j( OI'll be there too,
/ q9 S7 g, D2 ASniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

" B+ v& S& {2 {) |Don't be sad
! P0 g. Z* U& cWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
6 ^  O( ]) ^' C- w7 [9 D+ VWild and free,
% u/ A* h; h4 D7 E  BFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
' D( F! e# |% \8 J0 oChasing the thunder
Time and again,
6 C4 d' U5 N# W  Z8 f+ w1 eSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.