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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!* ]0 m4 g& D3 v
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In the garden of my heart3 |  N/ H9 @$ ]1 t, D
You planted a tree
) F% A/ g, n1 a) xFrom sunset til dawn1 v7 a9 Z' q% Y$ s) K& `! Q
Through darkness to light# J  V/ x: F8 c- j9 [& X" W
Nourished with my soul
/ f( q" T! s1 g# X. uDevoured my sorrow by thee
+ q( R2 X( N$ w; w) S: |/ t9 I. C5 K' e) ]& i* M
In the memory of my life
: N; {+ a+ A, X: y) n$ [0 N. iYou planted a dream
/ J4 _9 l# `( a1 F0 @& o9 j7 S. NShould the sky fall down on me
/ J: L; R3 P+ y7 C5 ^( b1 kMay promises fade in the sea1 u. v% h' S; x4 L; s0 f1 F0 F
Sewing back every broken pieces
' ?- s) p& H+ mBursting the love out of me& g. m# p8 r+ r1 h
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[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表! x8 A) L# o5 i
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!4 k8 l$ q0 n& k6 K- U: U3 p$ B

/ ]$ v5 c8 j7 C) r, w8 p/ O! @In the garden of my heart
# g' \0 e+ ?" O" o/ W; h# B0 `You planted a tree$ Q: h) A7 k+ y8 v5 q5 ~% k
From sunset til dawn
  q$ k) y7 t# V( _' q. o# |( NThrough darkness to light- H3 p/ d$ h2 N' J! _$ F
Nourished with my soul6 T$ @* S% f* F5 x2 X
Devoured my so ...
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眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
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写得真好。; B. ?' u. ]! Y  j" d% r

6 G! s6 H( N* r8 ~  {& @加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表% g- ~5 ~4 h- W
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
9 L" I9 q' i( U% X  @! V写得真好。
! ^  Y# @4 [, G3 l& M加精加精!
) R4 Y! d/ a8 g) h7 c  ?5 P
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表- }8 B. C! F. T) M6 c
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
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Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
7 F: B' R9 I) l- ZShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
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3 W$ f! C7 d% c" j% I, c8 g6 d% @9 sSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
* w2 J8 x; S# R# D) t, Y
) Z3 r! z; g1 N
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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9 f% p! V% X" z* f1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".% c1 B/ V" ?5 U) }
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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  L& ]. P+ T- O: |  }# m! rShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表" r: N' |8 \/ Z7 d
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
) T! _4 |3 ^* h) t  x9 j" Gthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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9 W, T) Q9 T4 Y2 K' y1 M+ ~有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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% C3 I# D  g8 G/ g1 K比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》/ Y! A! h- k! U
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Don't weep at my grave: z0 s4 k) _$ w* h6 U# A
For I am not there,: E7 H, l% s3 Z. g; U
I've a date with a butterfly
, z: q6 w8 x4 a/ y( a5 c  {' X9 B9 FTo dance on the air.4 P: @" B' f+ n" t0 Y# [$ K
If I'm missed, find a flower,4 v: |' ~+ C/ X6 H* |' k) k
I'll be there too,
4 u" L, j: U2 mSniffing it's fragrance
. ~2 k. P8 [  R- @- g" aRight next to you.5 `" v- {2 L/ h% Q, }9 b
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Don't be sad
( \/ v5 I2 d/ nWhen you remember me,
6 \, ^* z# U& |4 u; \For I'm singing in the sunshine,* T! C- w# ]% I  S6 Z+ W" t) k
Wild and free,8 `' q9 _1 n0 y- i7 e
Flirting with the lighting,! S1 A! r0 J5 y. ~: O
Playing tag with the wind,2 C7 l+ y) l6 e4 w
Chasing the thunder2 [; @% x/ f( b& i6 M9 Z  Z
Time and again,
7 `7 f: J$ w6 `Soaring with the eagle,+ }( @2 E2 j4 s& `$ S$ L1 @% I; K
Swimming in the sea,
6 e( {2 r2 E  o5 T( sEnjoying all of nature
( ]/ M' o, K5 U5 K- O  QWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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