In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
  [' O! R! w1 n$ F; T
In the garden of my heart
$ B. Y" P" S, nYou planted a tree
: W4 ~- K( U8 F! E! ~2 @3 FFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee
, I: Z' z0 z: Q7 H. h; q
In the memory of my life
% V  S% c3 B) u3 H- [You planted a dream
" Y3 ?1 F% a! R. \8 Z+ cShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
' [2 H3 t9 e; ~% }' l6 l4 eSewing back every broken pieces
% p2 C: R! w, m% O0 qBursting the love out of me

2 e+ i4 L9 i. ?% ][mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
5 f) Q5 Y2 b$ _! m' ~听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

2 ^0 V% k3 `) A- kIn the garden of my heart
+ v% B. P5 c& V1 j/ H# GYou planted a tree
% R( F6 E- S+ S0 z) iFrom sunset til dawn
" B% ]0 c( s/ P. T; [Through darkness to light
  d# h8 q- k6 e6 |0 \Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

+ s0 w0 ^% X- }( D0 t& q
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
* [. x: X  q4 Z& |
写得真好。

' ]$ q& b* \% M加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
& N6 U* w. k$ q* U眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
7 c# M" K: u5 U0 t写得真好。
6 f% p1 L  z) V5 \. u$ \加精加精！

7 l4 W$ u' c" d: A我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
4 G  F* {  y0 X) B
* Z( ^- H. ~' p* [1 bSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
) v2 _* u8 @# BShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
4 W7 q& g3 f+ t  ^& i' z. P3 R
0 n  Q6 |3 n) R, }' p3 t& sSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
# \% s7 S& W; m3 l- d
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

$ Z% V5 S4 K# m" }2 h4 o8 {. M# TShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
% s7 G+ y4 k0 u! Nthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
2 _; M0 g' c+ O, r: b
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

2 {# o( d3 O6 Z6 F
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

; l( m- {: V& x; J
9 ]2 e4 _7 c: a0 N; }有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
, ?. J- c5 G1 G& l8 u  Y
Don't weep at my grave
/ q& |- @+ g0 B  ]For I am not there,
& P2 b" V( I% p, r$ ]3 vI've a date with a butterfly
: h1 O7 z; f. cTo dance on the air.
% a0 j- n9 D6 I+ s3 h* kIf I'm missed, find a flower,
5 Z. q+ Y) {* u2 z1 h  vI'll be there too,
$ z' u. `; G/ G8 q- SSniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
! t. k/ m* Z! A6 H* W- J, Z
Don't be sad
! M& i" O' k) o) J  Z4 y8 o0 rWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
& f6 S" _5 m% B% e4 wWild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
6 |2 e2 Z4 t7 ~Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
& v# m2 `, D. S, ITime and again,
- {. S7 l: w( Y' ]. GSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
3 i  q2 Z3 _% R, ~; h% fWhile I'm waiting for thee.