the longest word in the English language

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:24

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2013-3-21 17:25 编辑

Question:　What is the longest word in the English language?

Answer: smiles

Why?

Because there is a mile between the first and last letters.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:27

Maria found America
Why? Not Columbia? Take a look at the class:

Teacher: Maria, please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:30

The following is an old joke, which is consistent with our Chinese saying 无事献殷勤非奸即盗

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:33

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:39 编辑

你可以对警察说，我想你是个混蛋
You CAN say that you think somebody is a jerk, especially when this person is a cop who gave you a ticket. Take a look:

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:35

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:38 编辑

为什么男人们总问这个问题

"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:37

老鼠在你家里干什么

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:40

等一分钟

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:44

Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?

She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.

(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45

I is or I am

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:52

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:06 编辑

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

A: An envelope.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:54

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑

Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?

A: A stamp.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:55

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?

A: A blackboard.

billzhao · 发表于 2012-4-14 13:59

本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:02 编辑

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?

A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?

A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?

A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?

A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?

A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?

A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?

A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?

A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?

A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?

A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?

A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?

A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?

A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?

A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?

A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?

A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?

A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?

A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything?

A: The letter "g".

prouddolphin · 发表于 2012-4-14 22:38

CANDYMAN · 发表于 2012-5-5 16:15

尘肺？？？？？？？？？？？

CANDYMAN · 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

补充内容 (2012-5-16 12:51):
I did not know those sources of the word, thanks!

清淡如水 · 发表于 2012-5-15 06:52

billzhao · 发表于 2012-5-15 11:04

CANDYMAN 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20 : i/ H, b( y3 p$ h R- x
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

great job

weidsun · 发表于 2012-5-29 10:32

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

summer_tina · 发表于 2012-5-30 21:34

不就是\smile吗

Remotecontrol · 发表于 2012-6-8 12:31

435t45rhrthrt

billzhao · 发表于 2012-8-28 08:14

shelley.micheal · 发表于 2012-8-30 13:45

9楼的笑话没看懂哦？

fushiyu · 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22

shelley.micheal 发表于 2012-8-30 14:45
d- Z5 ?# c4 c; x% |( i9楼的笑话没看懂哦？

以I开头造句：
他本来想说：I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am，结果意思变成我是第9个字母。

billzhao · 发表于 2013-3-21 17:27

billzhao 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45
: I) c: R( m/ U9 H- i0 R0 b pI is or I am# C" j9 h2 B# N. s; h4 [* ?

: @+ }$ P% H# ~- M6 H+ I0 |Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

billzhao · 发表于 2013-3-21 17:29

fushiyu 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22
_& }7 o% i: X) m以I开头造句：
0 q, ~: B L5 ^6 y/ u他本来想说：I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am，结果意思变成我是第9个字 ...

The ninth letter is I
"I" is the ninth letter

newday · 发表于 2013-3-24 15:05

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