 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- N( E S7 ~/ w& G/ H) j/ v$ @+ q
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
5 ?' O3 \6 E- h; N1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
* g6 O5 `( |$ Y0 wdown.8 l w" ^' R: ^# n- d
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
' i0 p6 [% ~- P5 R# n gyou
3 [! T6 U& _% t+ \+ |' |leaving it down.
& |1 w' T, }( v( m" \1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？/ _4 s. f, Y/ a* i" \5 y- M
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
; Z5 b' f# Q* J2 p5 Z4 x) U$ _Let it be.
- s9 m w1 v7 L3 B1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去7 M' u8 D$ F' x! ]7 Y- t: b& T1 `: }
# H ]; @; h( o1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
0 d1 S2 Y% g/ U3 \that way.
|- k! N+ j. E/ B! B1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！% z+ M# N+ l" G7 S. S1 j
( P9 M5 @/ [* O3 M1 V1. Crying is blackmail.; K }; M3 B: W$ T7 B; Y- E/ r) y4 |
1，哭泣是敲诈- I' I( r5 o; X3 X
6 F% Q1 H0 F" ?4 e! R% e3 y: ^1. Ask for what you want.
( f+ x7 G% j0 YLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
0 P1 q$ L# a6 h: }1 G: iStrong hints do not work!
+ W: q0 T7 w. fObvious hints do not work!
* I5 e; |0 V) @# g' l4 s: f! YJust say it!6 \/ T+ C: n/ r( {3 ^
1，你想要什么就说
1 N% O" g/ }4 q6 h2 k我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！# h; I; d5 a; q* q
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every - e% \: K2 ?8 W' V9 ^4 l* {
question.
; u8 l5 e e+ F! k1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）# c3 G2 U% B4 E
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's1 {. U5 ?, W9 h! a/ q3 Z
what we do.
: \& v, }/ K( ]. E" a; N3 X2 f% HSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1 ^* |, a ~) A5 Z4 Y' a, w
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
$ Q1 L! b, H' J J/ V2 O+ l/ p1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
$ h$ i Z+ U0 `( h( v7 o; P' f1 dIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.- J& Q6 u9 f5 }5 n+ d: }
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了8 S3 G( F- h4 @7 V) k
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
1 ^! o7 K& S7 h) wto act like soap opera guys., ^% p- N+ P" g) d
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们1 n' y5 w- a4 h! ] p) D) h
, m, p! Q, y9 L2 G! B: o1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
+ q! D# g/ p) q1 M1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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* L: s7 u o! t- W- p5 }1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
8 J, u. r2 f" A, m) o Qmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
0 |9 ~) l! [' K. p+ h/ E1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
! b9 m& a! p# m: S0 ?1 f1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it1 l* g6 g/ j& h- t5 R
done. Not both.5 P% H2 D" @( _
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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: [3 q2 c* V: z+ P1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
; Q6 y$ ]9 M1 I8 p$ `commercials., A4 [# m/ ?0 y9 U B. M4 m
$ r$ l% c; h6 V! a8 Z4 G2 W! p1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.0 a1 B5 V$ t( F' U
% e* Z) E. z& c# U1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.. Y. |/ N% e8 t7 I. E- e/ ]9 O9 ~
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# Q2 ?9 ?) _4 W$ ^) h/ ^: g, ]We have no idea what mauve is.9 q9 V- X9 S: U- l0 H2 k! r, m2 Z
. f$ I' d/ O6 u$ r6 I6 Q1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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* `4 o9 o6 i& c8 u! [1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
0 T. | E; d6 w0 nnothing's wrong.
' ~3 D& w7 [# A( y0 W! rWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.9 q5 n: u7 ]) d
+ Q! R7 x) T& J2 M5 x, h1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
5 B4 c0 ]0 P3 ~5 vyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is9 ?1 b. ]; [+ U
fine...Really.
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( V# }7 I6 O f- B1 _, w- Z9 h1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to' J+ k, ^* C# t8 S% c9 Q
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.% y* Y. E8 ^' X. b' \
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1. You have too many shoes.* ?2 k6 z) J! W$ \" k
7 c* b2 D: k& v7 q1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!5 w; o9 E$ {* p, @& l
! T" M2 ^/ j' i/ _9 j1. Thank you for reading this./ z& `* \0 |: M. l
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;: Y/ y* M. E/ y+ @/ M4 X+ }
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
/ z/ b! R2 }+ V/ k. ~2 _6 @7 q8 NPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
