 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
$ _/ n: o# r/ N: h% h/ d% j. A5 N请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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! L: J" E# k7 X6 p) j1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1 I% W$ N9 j8 z; a+ i% g" C7 T1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫6 ?# d* l- J+ E" B% Y
9 C+ O: I% S; f! |/ [ F" v1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it, Y9 v7 S1 |: c
down.
5 N0 @# j8 \) d- U0 KWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 1 Z/ p- O( R* N! Q' K! P5 p
you
- g% S8 P1 B% o: K5 S- Y- Bleaving it down.
* Y( }" M3 _2 C( D5 S1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？- v6 M! j, u9 T s
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.$ ] C0 h: N5 ]0 |) B
Let it be.
& a2 b+ e) [1 I1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
) k n5 \9 a6 x' c% |that way.
/ ^- q( z! Q2 ~+ @1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！$ p: v+ E ~4 }% l' I
* \% u. O6 g0 _0 r* x! |# U: C* }1. Crying is blackmail.* b9 k/ a: S2 R& c5 A2 o( {
1，哭泣是敲诈* i9 m4 b5 c i D1 J
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1. Ask for what you want.
: _* N p1 O# b x+ H% R( L1 @Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
+ W- y2 z$ V ?Strong hints do not work!
8 u; }4 q$ `. [. B% f. OObvious hints do not work!* Q" Z: ]# |; g3 _
Just say it!' D2 \$ M$ R8 r5 W+ c+ U# N9 {
1，你想要什么就说2 r3 O# I$ T# _% ~/ ]) _
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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; I8 z! b8 o/ z. T% q1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
; M5 r# T3 \/ ~9 ?, y( u$ zquestion.
; v/ S7 W$ R1 I8 k, V1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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/ y9 t7 w+ N7 {. U1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
n# T6 }2 B- X9 ~# wwhat we do.
1 t# S0 j* C* |8 q/ |Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
/ M% m* J" I9 V: Z5 Q; J1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。. V9 B6 g* n F3 l6 f
: ]. a' T( y- D& \1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.; h. n$ D9 w6 E0 z' C# I
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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+ Q z" f3 g" x A1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.% E( B& {9 f9 n$ _, r2 A- w. d
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.- q. \" ]7 u1 M/ g% T9 o
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了4 [- t4 w( F, B, U4 b
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us* ]$ V( S o J9 u R5 }2 W) A
to act like soap opera guys.; V9 b+ B9 C% b1 j& @# t- r/ [
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2 `+ N$ ]8 P5 J: M' j, f1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways8 S4 ], z( I+ t6 m
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
, r t1 u: ~8 V9 G) Z1 O/ W* X) _$ Z1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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; ]$ M$ s# s* F, r8 |1 Z6 T（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
* _7 f! W: d4 ]- \- }1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
& @5 m9 x& \( Cdone. Not both.7 s+ `& \. j* o0 P6 [- P
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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% C# R6 L S; b8 t/ H5 ~, P1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
. i2 s9 d; i5 T2 }1 kcommercials.% d) s- a* `+ d5 R" {
% g' d' b: D& N; m1 j2 V' @6 R1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.! W! K& n. f1 t
5 D) O5 q+ X$ |4 T1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.' t) a% c t! J+ F" L6 X3 e
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
( B% P; g9 d% W- b N t: ~5 V+ C# ]We have no idea what mauve is.; p4 E! n! N; q" O% O- N! f7 P+ y
" A+ M- G: Y( X# V9 J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like6 Z+ H; f/ `, q" s: @" U; s
nothing's wrong.9 U4 V1 t2 W! N' r/ b% k
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer* p1 s. c1 p7 j$ J3 k
you don't want to hear.' j9 }* s' u4 M* N* L$ E: ^3 [# \
$ d9 L& r9 g: n, D2 a6 J1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
; O% X x& u4 Nfine...Really.2 W" {( H1 R' u
8 f" Z2 E& ~4 e8 \$ `1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
8 h$ h. N% j* c( u3 Q& s4 Q$ }discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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& X* C9 ~2 |! s1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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0 `1 d. L& A9 ^1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!' B- f9 g( |9 o2 M) X0 k1 K) Z9 G
( s5 O/ J( H( n2 F# H3 q1. Thank you for reading this.
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8 n) P+ T; @% L$ BYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
+ x: ]+ y9 V" w5 R% ~( Q# l* i% fBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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4 s0 H, g3 C) E. VPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.& N! e& p7 T: }
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
