 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- v, V) }7 L3 N% U6 j
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
. R4 Q7 s j1 B) g! `/ M1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
! O$ o( t H! o/ Y' `# h1 Adown.2 H! w" F2 X) W0 z. S2 v
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.+ V3 w8 U6 T9 X+ }2 P4 q
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？2 q# [- e, x2 a6 f
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 ~( x* v6 s' z0 @. X1 j8 ^$ H7 ]
Let it be.
8 \* e2 i q$ C: n# M/ D5 V5 z3 @1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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3 O0 V+ o( t h8 | y4 j6 A2 [# a1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
- ~! X+ z# H4 a0 z0 ]that way.
8 i; z9 l6 V. c5 c# H2 ^ X8 V1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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- \2 X- h& X- ]+ j% l1. Crying is blackmail.
2 {0 D, a0 _' F) V) N& E8 g1 b$ w% _1，哭泣是敲诈$ t6 ?+ D' N/ m! w. G9 C) ~2 S
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1. Ask for what you want.
( w) D: h1 ?( n7 Y ~4 H0 C# Z5 r2 uLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
& u: y' N. w. ]" V5 p9 JStrong hints do not work!
1 u: S( f7 N9 d$ i, k. PObvious hints do not work!* Z# U9 d% Y# H% X- M2 D/ }
Just say it!
5 }, C$ |9 B) V3 G$ a: F- V1，你想要什么就说
% U. B( Q( \8 s" |2 ?我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！8 o) ~( P; m( b2 b
/ z, s4 N# M' d$ u1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
0 n# |5 y* y) T0 X3 O6 squestion.
" |- O- C+ {5 Q. j, c- M4 \1 f1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）5 ^2 \% R4 m5 O/ Q4 ]- ~
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
, _2 a `! W# a, V% rwhat we do.
: _, l* `$ H6 t: XSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
4 ^2 K; m* e( f! N8 j/ x v# S% K1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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( i0 S0 `$ y; @, E$ h' g1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.! W- f5 P' T3 m3 r
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去0 i2 P4 H G, ^9 P: q8 L
$ w# T6 F% U8 R# [$ a1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.: y% G: }; |; [+ G4 ]3 p: h
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
( ^) j( ~% Y! `; b我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了/ m, _, ]0 l! n6 Q, F$ Z. }9 ^
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us8 k( S8 j5 p# s$ a7 F9 ], f
to act like soap opera guys.
; k: L% e' o. r8 h' |" R, t+ L1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
/ J0 L+ I7 e/ J) A4 q& q" l1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们3 _ i4 S) O2 U- S& x/ C2 A8 U
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways* K, i9 [. a5 D; I% D, c. x1 C1 c
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.$ ?. B0 E8 P4 N' _+ U# B9 N
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。; Q( H( [) {. T4 V9 ~0 u. }
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）0 X' r% ~* s1 c+ ^
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it5 O$ L8 N1 m' {
done. Not both.
, d5 B [3 |$ w& E# aIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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$ H! ]+ ?7 q, x% `$ v3 B1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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$ ]1 L$ n: W0 F e1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
- O. @+ C, @4 H3 V+ k' xPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
! g- Z4 J4 d) j) R; ]# z; BWe have no idea what mauve is.+ m) z4 ~+ b2 [# U7 J
0 V2 Y: K: ?; g6 Q' O6 Q) _1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.% g; w( l: q) l; E1 }
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
2 c6 _& c. J. F. y) j' H( L$ q% _7 C! Xnothing's wrong.
: U0 q( ~& U6 z& @7 ?We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer1 q$ e$ e) \# Z! K
you don't want to hear. o" J4 V( F8 V q. G; u. T% ?
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
$ p8 @! L9 e: H+ L* {7 A$ wfine...Really.) u! F1 L' Y% H3 M2 o: `% @
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
9 U9 o+ ~% C6 _" ]- Gdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.2 {* u# K# P5 j$ I
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1. You have enough clothes.
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. g7 |/ o4 }+ h* {1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! K) g7 Y1 W9 [/ H5 y
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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5 Q9 h" x' ?5 EYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
; d- A) H* b/ |/ d; r9 b/ lBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.2 c6 m+ {/ [* f
& A, D3 M7 r9 l# m1 \Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
0 H8 j" M, B% h2 oPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
