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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
; l  q4 d" R4 A8 Z请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.2 _( J7 c, z' k4 X
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it% u8 s' c3 c% P% f5 l. e: X: j
down.6 K  i1 Z8 p% H$ ^. Q
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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) ~+ n# n0 @% X& m0 Q+ bleaving it down.9 J1 a) T6 X) a1 A) w
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?/ p' _6 Y; Y( Z' u  w) N2 O

, O6 d# {2 _' A. O1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
% U7 E3 j2 E2 o4 g, TLet it be.
$ m6 [" \% u5 C/ f/ r! |% t1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去- N* P$ W8 _' o0 ?
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it6 P8 g3 i2 D9 r7 I0 u6 y
that way.
7 }) J7 f0 l0 g/ y$ h1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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6 X* {  l: D& U1. Crying is blackmail.7 |; N) P+ X! J& j  s* z
1,哭泣是敲诈
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0 W  e! [4 J: u4 C) m) o1. Ask for what you want.
" e- Q; Q6 x' q& |Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!/ G  {5 c4 ^1 f$ a" B/ n/ N: @
Strong hints do not work!6 n' [% S. G  ^; K$ u6 s- L
Obvious hints do not work!
3 L* u1 x' @; q2 zJust say it!
- t& q7 v# e; y6 d$ V9 S" {1,你想要什么就说2 c( g3 v) q& ]5 {5 a1 M
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1 k& U0 N; E1 E3 l. J1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
6 z5 T, [" Z- i" ?& G& a$ N5 ]1 {/ iquestion.- Z# }3 ~% k& a' Y( z
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)- Q5 {$ g' O/ n( c+ [4 u

- y- R2 k% b. I! C; Z; @9 w" i; x& y& g1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's9 n- ~& w; ~5 j- C
what we do.
' Y( [6 `1 E$ R6 ?2 g, t4 QSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.- d, N; ~+ L& R
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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: u3 |# ?3 O9 i5 S; e+ J1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
) i0 y- m# E2 U/ r( C1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去6 m  V* ?5 ]% L' b
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ T1 }* e: f7 z: QIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
' F: {- G! T( G3 N  B  _6 ]* v我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us. |+ q/ c) M. f0 i. ^+ e' A' G
to act like soap opera guys.. b6 ^& f2 i2 l% V/ _
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们! d+ _, y2 G  R3 ]

, C9 J. i8 j1 M. F! I9 L1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us./ G0 g$ z2 U$ n' ~# X  k6 a8 I7 M
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways; u- O! e1 `! p9 Z3 g
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
3 K" ?4 B' v* J1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)& S4 N& N& N1 r4 ?1 [' W) J
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it0 \, d7 V! M$ o6 p/ C2 T
done. Not both.6 b7 c, b/ k2 I0 T* k, ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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" Z8 x4 V9 O% [' q) z. X1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
9 x/ ]# _  m; l. J2 B* A# j* E/ F" Ccommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.6 J& {6 A0 K# `3 L' |2 S) [
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.3 W- A- F/ w/ I& D6 V8 N4 |' c
We have no idea what mauve is.
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& D% w9 c9 @/ E: }2 T/ P" M1 X% a1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that./ r/ B# \1 f$ V9 k0 w7 ~4 F* Y0 |

* l( Y8 f) Q& h$ o% i. R1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like5 X9 S4 ]% ~6 z. Q
nothing's wrong.6 p7 V6 ^1 b. h% y# Q5 V
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
) b, [* g! v0 t, l7 p1 kyou don't want to hear.% R& n6 E1 J, a( P" Z- E/ X
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
8 R4 }( x" T3 F( Mfine...Really.5 @# D0 ]( K4 H5 o" O% E; p% {& p4 y

) q$ l/ B. f8 ~( e  M" B' D$ g1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to) G0 Z0 Y1 Y2 [- n$ t4 x
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 I' ^( Y# C9 b+ L; }& z3 q

) S( S; e. O# f1. You have enough clothes.
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5 J* @, [! d4 s- o1. You have too many shoes.
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0 r* C9 R6 z' z8 Y1 O1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!8 D7 O5 x, J, a5 L( C  S: s
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1. Thank you for reading this.$ z) |8 K/ C3 c* A
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
1 S3 P8 J) g) c% C# [4 _! u" iBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
- i  V5 n; L/ Q) ePass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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: e/ G/ ~" O* V/ n/ [1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。3 q- y" h9 G5 i$ u' @; A) i

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) {. I1 b  `; i, c1 a1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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7 t/ [9 X9 q1 t! _4 E" u1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
) ^( L" n& Y+ c3 g我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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) b9 @7 ~  Q. }7 c4 W: e1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.* b. [& l, s. R9 u* V
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。8 `* e% o$ B$ c1 x7 t6 R
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* L- [2 V9 X* l4 C1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.0 H$ d4 c6 r: F
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。3 ~( x5 I* W5 i, ~2 Q: G

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# z# }* X* n4 J" o1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.7 V! M: @9 ]1 M! }! K  m4 a
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。- L0 N! |/ R: |" U5 p6 t1 J( g

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
  n! w5 I: j' \/ q如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:$ r2 g  A' }- M1 s0 ^
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.# I( |  G4 l- h4 x# }3 _4 [: D( J
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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( ]8 q  h, P- a/ C" {这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置9 `. G: `( z1 f6 y) _! p9 [/ D9 p

8 O6 y1 N2 g4 m/ e0 b还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
4 U; Z0 s/ [9 E) Z$ s' A如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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! ~! m6 r# A9 N: V9 P6 I1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.. l& m5 p! P6 d, t; h2 [
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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1. You have enough clothes.
+ D! Q. O3 W; R3 C你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
3 D$ R- i, q, r; A, l+ Q) x你的鞋子也太多了吧
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5 M6 {: z+ u9 h' Y* _3 X8 M& T1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
" E, ~- l& b$ P( w$ x我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?2 f6 d2 M! B5 N0 ~: J9 R
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1. Thank you for reading this.
& d! x# k: c. w3 _4 N& l多谢你能看完这个
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.. n8 m' u& \; D6 n& w/ e: x* \
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:( z. e( x, H" |0 s0 V. T  J. {; I
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置2 P! F. g' O" u" e7 Z
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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4 ]& B8 l0 _6 s1 }6 i" }玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
9 `' x% y) b$ U0 J1. You have enough clothes.
0 k0 {, Y% [9 |2 N! ]2 p  @! J你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
& b3 a, }+ q6 M你的鞋子也太多了吧

7 C2 Y3 O- m/ t9 u; X这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?8 k( n  {& b% d$ w) U# @+ X% l
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.: @2 d4 t/ N3 g; ]6 k* n
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!) i- u8 G; g1 S4 |
Strong hints do not work!  n, G2 L3 f8 ~* J5 B, {6 O
Obvious hints do not work!, t7 U+ E+ a, [4 g+ E0 u3 A/ R2 _
Just say it!
  i: [+ V4 w7 l% X1 C& ?1,你想要什么就说' z0 m) ~0 A6 m+ j! j" _+ W
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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3 A4 U6 ~7 w( s. L' U关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:1 G, J6 c5 x; ~% }+ r6 t" u
1. Ask for what you want.$ ]% y; m; [7 O& B7 z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!+ X5 M$ b7 z3 z1 |) V8 u9 r
Strong hints do not work!
0 C& Q; L& t# K* O3 U; L. T  _% rObvious hints do not work!" x$ H8 p* a# ^, \' S" Q+ r; x
Just say it!
7 C2 F, `0 S( h9 L4 |1,你想要什么就说
  F3 \$ _0 b: g" L我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:7 f, |. X# ]9 b# @
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
大型搬家
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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/ m& e7 V3 Q' W) S) U2 \咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
6 B- [8 n; y( _. S6 x) U! c9 w+ u& Q
http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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9 D. o$ J) O+ i9 J) P. |. f这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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! e- m, Z( }. M% l: |% u还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。+ |* q5 j+ O: x& `# l

. g, j+ a- p; i. R还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?
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/ Y/ h$ f8 o* u$ m回答到那个帖子下面了
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