 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 H: K' p8 S1 w( M: V请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写# A5 d) c4 \$ O0 L5 y
- `; U3 O& a: `- `1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
5 O4 I) I, V; y5 t& o; W$ B1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫4 n* x& P; T: l& T
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
$ [5 X: t+ r/ Fdown.
/ e$ P+ G& _. V+ n* cWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
& f, m# t+ ~0 R1 cyou
" m5 l8 p) C% D/ i. @- D" }4 D) kleaving it down.
9 f! j- h, L, B- x j1 C1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？9 H1 o# {9 ?0 P* Q( X
# {+ k" l4 t. A( [1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
, {6 m! W2 w# ?- x( L3 MLet it be.7 V% \# W( d# A; G6 M
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去! x4 q7 ^: m( @! [6 a0 S
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
4 @+ N! k% b& O! wthat way.
2 s4 Y( s! x* U4 n1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！6 t3 R# i% L3 \, L, i7 w
9 t" \, U/ F6 H/ Z. ]
1. Crying is blackmail.
+ I* j2 R7 Q; s% W3 J) z1，哭泣是敲诈
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, d' V0 Y% P% h+ Z1. Ask for what you want.
1 s7 S" I x) x2 o' CLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!6 ^: L0 @( i3 `' r% l! Y& V. f
Strong hints do not work!# g* z- L" v) g) d# l3 m4 a
Obvious hints do not work!
, V! q7 \- ]2 j" ?, j6 YJust say it!
; r. [8 M2 v5 }6 X8 H) d1，你想要什么就说
9 y! l5 K* b* D9 x% R1 J/ q7 n1 y1 Z我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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- Q+ l, o/ `/ T4 Z+ g \" C. [1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
( Y6 U- {' K2 z' k: uquestion.$ A# G9 p. R) k% `& k
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
7 ~8 B& b, Y+ U! Cwhat we do.
2 K0 W) b9 M% I# wSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
: L. Q: T9 k2 ]! [/ D- L" g: Y# g1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。7 U1 p% R, W& G
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
( @" T4 L' O' A/ n1 R x0 M2 n0 U6 g1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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7 S# i: w& U% _: M' d1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
5 M# I' j4 q9 U- N4 {In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.0 Y0 s; ^" e+ j" W
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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2 ] b3 p# V k9 {# J; _1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us- ~8 {5 c7 ? l+ s1 o3 \' y* Y
to act like soap opera guys.) U" |6 R* P" {* J! H/ D% c
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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% p" P ~& \4 h2 e1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us., `' ]& W% s9 o
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们& m8 s7 V5 o) X9 B; C L: f+ ?
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
: v D! Z- [- |: [makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
2 b# s6 D, w' U _: z2 l6 t$ T' J1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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: P. p# ~# g+ c5 H8 Q0 v* g（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
4 b# t& n: v9 n8 m1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it" t) W, [( f6 k& f& U
done. Not both.# n, `! e) E; }
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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+ U+ E( F2 ^$ ` ~5 P" r1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during6 e0 P) ]9 r a$ O
commercials.. }) }) M% i4 w/ ^: h5 O! r
1 Y* |& Q" ^2 y' b! h1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.2 L+ G7 ~, \% S) t/ Y1 w9 a8 M
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 s, W2 k1 l) T- MWe have no idea what mauve is.# R% W2 q/ ~$ ~
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
& a; o x4 |+ Q) L5 Bnothing's wrong.
7 c. |* n8 T( \& r: T; Y- s+ `We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
. k0 N+ e+ [3 R" k! Y6 @you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is2 x+ r. ~8 ?' T; Y
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
4 U6 \' J. [5 _9 t$ J( P ?discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.8 B+ ~/ g( ~) a* G. @, R7 _
. r3 G' l8 i6 ?) K5 \! c1. You have too many shoes.7 {0 U* a% N4 X) Q
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.5 R0 L( `4 N! \# j
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;3 q9 G6 m9 q, M& _8 V/ F
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.' v' i1 P% g# C" P/ @1 F
' F' W! h: W. T* zPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
6 S8 N, T$ {* V3 B9 q9 K" B* ~9 xPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
