 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
; l q4 d" R4 A8 Z请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.2 _( J7 c, z' k4 X
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it% u8 s' c3 c% P% f5 l. e: X: j
down.6 K i1 Z8 p% H$ ^. Q
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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) ~+ n# n0 @% X& m0 Q+ bleaving it down.9 J1 a) T6 X) a1 A) w
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?/ p' _6 Y; Y( Z' u w) N2 O
, O6 d# {2 _' A. O1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
% U7 E3 j2 E2 o4 g, TLet it be.
$ m6 [" \% u5 C/ f/ r! |% t1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去- N* P$ W8 _' o0 ?
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it6 P8 g3 i2 D9 r7 I0 u6 y
that way.
7 }) J7 f0 l0 g/ y$ h1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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6 X* { l: D& U1. Crying is blackmail.7 |; N) P+ X! J& j s* z
1,哭泣是敲诈
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0 W e! [4 J: u4 C) m) o1. Ask for what you want.
" e- Q; Q6 x' q& |Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!/ G {5 c4 ^1 f$ a" B/ n/ N: @
Strong hints do not work!6 n' [% S. G ^; K$ u6 s- L
Obvious hints do not work!
3 L* u1 x' @; q2 zJust say it!
- t& q7 v# e; y6 d$ V9 S" {1,你想要什么就说2 c( g3 v) q& ]5 {5 a1 M
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1 k& U0 N; E1 E3 l. J1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)- Q5 {$ g' O/ n( c+ [4 u
- y- R2 k% b. I! C; Z; @9 w" i; x& y& g1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's9 n- ~& w; ~5 j- C
what we do.
' Y( [6 `1 E$ R6 ?2 g, t4 QSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.- d, N; ~+ L& R
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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: u3 |# ?3 O9 i5 S; e+ J1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
) i0 y- m# E2 U/ r( C1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去6 m V* ?5 ]% L' b
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ T1 }* e: f7 z: QIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
' F: {- G! T( G3 N B _6 ]* v我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us. |+ q/ c) M. f0 i. ^+ e' A' G
to act like soap opera guys.. b6 ^& f2 i2 l% V/ _
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们! d+ _, y2 G R3 ]
, C9 J. i8 j1 M. F! I9 L1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us./ G0 g$ z2 U$ n' ~# X k6 a8 I7 M
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways; u- O! e1 `! p9 Z3 g
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
3 K" ?4 B' v* J1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)& S4 N& N& N1 r4 ?1 [' W) J
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it0 \, d7 V! M$ o6 p/ C2 T
done. Not both.6 b7 c, b/ k2 I0 T* k, ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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" Z8 x4 V9 O% [' q) z. X1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.6 J& {6 A0 K# `3 L' |2 S) [
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.3 W- A- F/ w/ I& D6 V8 N4 |' c
We have no idea what mauve is.
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& D% w9 c9 @/ E: }2 T/ P" M1 X% a1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that./ r/ B# \1 f$ V9 k0 w7 ~4 F* Y0 |
* l( Y8 f) Q& h$ o% i. R1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like5 X9 S4 ]% ~6 z. Q
nothing's wrong.6 p7 V6 ^1 b. h% y# Q5 V
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
) b, [* g! v0 t, l7 p1 kyou don't want to hear.% R& n6 E1 J, a( P" Z- E/ X
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
8 R4 }( x" T3 F( Mfine...Really.5 @# D0 ]( K4 H5 o" O% E; p% {& p4 y
) q$ l/ B. f8 ~( e M" B' D$ g1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to) G0 Z0 Y1 Y2 [- n$ t4 x
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 I' ^( Y# C9 b+ L; }& z3 q
) S( S; e. O# f1. You have enough clothes.
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5 J* @, [! d4 s- o1. You have too many shoes.
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0 r* C9 R6 z' z8 Y1 O1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!8 D7 O5 x, J, a5 L( C S: s
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1. Thank you for reading this.$ z) |8 K/ C3 c* A
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
1 S3 P8 J) g) c% C# [4 _! u" iBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
- i V5 n; L/ Q) ePass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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