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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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k* t) W- s- t; v+ n0 Z7 `1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'., F) J) R; k4 L1 y
3 J" ^) b# n& D: {* O/ e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
2 u' L& w- l" Fhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
; f' l- q! q7 g: ~morning.
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0 [9 i# ]# |) g# E3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
) W( ?* `+ f- K# n6 Z! |/ g/ Nyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a) V4 D, E8 z3 u u) g8 [. s
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- E: P C i" r8 {6 r+ G- l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest _8 K" c% v) V1 g. E) I
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 P7 K, j- S* L- D- z, _go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell$ q. W% }- n6 S) E% f/ Y/ M4 b
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; {6 f( n) `0 J& g" ]% x
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& {3 A. B: |2 w l/ m- D% L) {8 zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
: Y3 ] ~+ _' \" Dget you shot.9 U# \) `$ g& d2 c: @7 _- n
0 x' f+ o; a1 D0 P7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
0 ~+ P' G5 _" T/ C+ B& k yhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at4 s* L# t. V' {$ t' @! o
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot. T5 B2 N9 q# I3 N6 H* w
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first0 s3 Q$ D& X8 v) b; y) Y+ E8 V
vehicle through the intersection.& V* B9 R' ^6 }2 X( y% k3 R& Z
1 x9 L: Y3 f( _$ N5 K) M8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour' f& M8 U, c$ P& S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: y# o' v) C' m. t2 `& O& u5 iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( p. }& R: s% c% Y# `. q4 M
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
' f/ T6 {5 _/ {: {" @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- S/ o: D& a" D& [1 L. Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 i5 ~$ O4 |1 }8 ~6 @$ c
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye- B, F; [& O1 G- Y: ]9 `$ p9 c' ?
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
5 g" O9 ?3 D7 G* ]; y; N66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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& y/ n& j9 L9 `' t+ \% J. @11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 r: z) c; s8 I5 Q; l6 A: Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
9 r/ Y8 M# V CActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, r. J1 g( L9 i/ {, j1 o% n. f9 u
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'! g2 U: D3 N6 D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 u4 h, B/ p) I( X) d/ w+ d8 b3 T
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 A! G: U3 h6 F# W. z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& x: s H# N8 B" ~% b: k( Q rblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
