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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.0 ~( v+ s9 p# ~$ u; P
) ?! v! |- S0 O" U2 z% `2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ G, U% d% b2 \0 {
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
+ r: |& J6 y4 v, N5 Bmorning.
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. w2 F, ?" w& E7 i# _3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,8 o) E/ r/ [$ O9 V+ @/ X8 U: I& X5 [* V
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a- F; \1 S: P2 t) J% {* c
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ F- E2 Q* ~* u* d7 D
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, W! N7 }" |( m& Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 u/ c `! i( g7 q5 A% m l6 E0 Ygo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell: Y& g/ t, F, C* q7 M* h+ N: y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& I( W8 q4 g8 a. y7 R
$ o% f1 g3 U/ |" y4 W q: U9 Q$ X5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ \3 l: y! [" `2 V
cussed out, and possibly shot.( V" P+ z) y3 _& \5 s
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
: a7 Q: b6 V' f7 ~- n0 Yget you shot.% u/ R* S5 G. P Q4 _
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that& C# m2 u+ E S
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at# {3 J/ ?0 _# { Y; ^8 e
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot9 ?& ]1 R) X0 J
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first4 v, n" d( Z9 G' W7 G4 h
vehicle through the intersection., o e! v/ J* N( Z
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour! F d/ e: P. G- N4 Y* y* r* Q6 I
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 z: p$ Y) n2 ?2 U
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! P q% U2 |& e" umore construction starts everyday.
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3 c0 d2 n* [; @1 ^1 v% Y2 J9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
, m9 i) ?! c7 i& ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," j# T s: [1 X' v& ~$ F4 `
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 Q/ @2 c; P) A. t& F
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same; ~/ P, P6 `) `9 o8 ?
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye; B% k6 C" L; U
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and9 A; i6 u$ Z' {1 G' Q
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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+ |. M& H% r! g( Q9 a# O11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! h2 u$ k' z1 V( T$ k* _
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally' D$ F0 p/ }4 e' S
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
& {8 B4 i1 c4 J- G7 A( Vyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'( i( `& I' S; q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ J; S# C, X i0 H o" ~. H5 p
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' h2 @9 p+ z' `( q! R4 nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
Y& g! X7 N! g3 n e) ]: n, ublankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
