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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house/ t) Y" u. r' s! a# G
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse. h3 u- G) ]2 {6 s# f
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
. ~% I) W# z& e( NCause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.% V( P4 Y& t. J$ t) w
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.4 w) r( g9 \ s1 r6 S
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
7 f$ k& F4 A3 H& VHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,0 w4 C: A( V' `5 b; S/ j, q
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
! K2 D1 A" w8 M* K5 I4 WFrom the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
$ f% N* M; @! a# N3 e" ~( Q, ETiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news." G/ f" f2 K1 J) ~0 N$ h
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
8 c$ v+ R. m* Z$ m. f2 q ?) d3 dWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.1 }4 i2 ] d$ ~) F/ o
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
% |0 z* ]3 u6 i- n; d5 B) _Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .4 y" c) S; |* F3 `* }
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,3 ]# G( q$ g% a: U
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
$ M( }, I! i. U/ i( \7 p: A$ D7 _9 I- LShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,% I# J, T5 w% ?. n) O% f
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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