埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3162|回复: 0

Modern Definitions

[复制链接]
鲜花(9) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-12-2 14:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
" o) x$ c$ B* o/ O8 m
! y' q+ ]6 s) K% ^0 A4 ^The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
. _+ S& q  ^. K3 I$ ^& O; Z2 D6 T$ x3 o$ o3 u# Y3 R
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. # e" J3 C4 b) a! R2 t2 s2 v1 K
# P- I7 A3 ^% h+ }) D' J6 l# m
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have .
2 i; z+ D- _9 w: a) W8 \3 q
2 \. e$ I; a9 U5 }3 Z5 i% B$ e3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
! ]* W4 V: ^0 H9 M! Q& z  c4 H
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
: S' m( L& R0 U+ h, \5 m$ d! v' z/ Z6 B. w3 b
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent & e' ]" u3 k* d/ K2 u2 A
0 J0 ^9 a2 L# [: a+ Y  b) ]
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
2 ^% N, @$ P: n
" o- l  C' t- W  u; v7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. , b- i3 v9 F6 E7 G2 b9 M) S
4 @8 s) u& I2 u
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. $ l0 W) B9 Q% G' S4 G; }

6 @# z) G/ o: K4 `9 W0 N9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. ) k% j$ w4 |8 T7 i7 @$ j4 {
$ z5 V, Y1 f4 v! A
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
% Q8 M0 f3 o3 r. Z3 X( P3 k9 c" P" P. P& a7 q2 M1 `
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 5 G* H! B% @0 l2 B3 o) v  n

2 |3 q! l5 B( F$ C12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 5 n' g, \: S+ a2 D* J; r& I" c7 V

( E$ y. l$ r( R5 o7 [+ _3 i13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. . H2 a3 v# ?" K0 V3 E" ~

1 |2 M* L$ U) Q6 Y; i7 j14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. * v0 |$ ~" j0 f9 j* H. E
  P' n% F+ c' L
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
: m: s+ ?2 T0 y* W
+ f  j; O* f/ _0 w16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-4-29 13:04 , Processed in 0.129662 second(s), 9 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表