 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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" y2 o/ \% E1 |. d J* ?6 `5 c, XI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.* @9 Q, w1 ~$ ]5 }+ ~! l" s. `
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 B6 [ J+ J: C( ~# }+ j
! |. i" j" C' e6 U0 L% TI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?9 M& n7 U3 m7 K7 [1 n8 [& y3 r
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?". Z. O2 D, `& I. _. Z) ?- Y9 Y
5 k4 n" j: L1 ]8 w! WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' }- K+ N" I2 f/ I1 A4 z
& m, p5 g7 g6 l% |3 g2 e& p- ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% c5 ]0 K8 }# u) @$ y- k) ^7 L
/ K7 [, I) Q( z WI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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- D& n# t6 N1 B: B* s; XI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."/ Z: O. A u( U2 J9 z
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 z; v" `' X9 N1 L8 d
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”5 j9 ?' U0 j% m3 P
7 G0 `( z( L) EThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.+ q9 R; c2 o8 G
( @# h, i1 o3 s. MThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.4 h, J2 N8 h" {) j4 I6 \& X
& d* |3 N. w. |/ R% ?+ Y2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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9 ]4 W5 ^: O$ b2 N"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 G2 A/ X5 W3 J9 \ m) S0 {! O
6 D. y I7 m( R9 W: s& r+ W7 A& ?Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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! U0 V b- ` SThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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