 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 T% B# E- d" ^1 K; K
" K" B& v M8 G8 W; G. I. bI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* J4 K% q; r) c A2 B
- A$ ~# ^1 T0 r% pAnd the second one was:
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, N J/ t# N% H- r o9 l"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ a* p" M \/ ?
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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+ ~0 D- i8 q$ c8 e0 T. P" \- l: ]"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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4 P& _- }; D" V- n# L1 tI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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* Y+ F* u& j r- b4 BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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% Y8 x- O/ ?0 l G. M! `So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: O7 q! @2 v( h5 I3 V, s. ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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1 Q- G+ i4 h3 w7 ^1 wThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!6 \7 o6 U" E+ I
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference: X5 P8 r1 X' O5 E6 x5 A" o
& Q5 U" g6 K( z7 e5 y1 s1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.2 }3 U) S3 g3 s
: l3 e! S+ W' u3 z( t2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.0 G; K2 G' Z% O; ?
6 M8 Q& U4 j: V; _( J+ \"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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' h# D6 W2 p- T1 W4 \* SJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".5 W+ a( e3 v. d6 b/ y* _: |
, u( K4 f' q7 t$ KRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.! H, ^+ @7 d5 H/ ^% k
: x V! i0 T1 p# @The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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