Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( Q8 I$ D3 o% D- ]5 IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 \6 B) ^% }/ E: Y* x9 xDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 {9 ^$ z* b' a- C: ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" `9 Z" X8 Q# e6 }8 J) Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) z  o" K! ]9 B5 }; G$ \$ N7 W& Sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 U/ f4 `' R4 m2 r6 z+ W" j" vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
  s4 ~. e, r3 c  S8 X3 o8 lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: W0 N  p$ }8 F; T" W1 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ {7 k4 \- z) O) ^7 GThe rest of your life.
" [% j: _7 z# w% Y0 ~0 vMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- [/ M, A( p3 {' L9 x* LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ i9 K8 r$ p3 l& t' h2 q  w$ ]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- J- [& ~' q  xin case, this time, the screams from
. v8 w" j* O. e* p9 y1 z+ Kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 k( R; d9 }' o8 @7 S) I# {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: ^: q* u$ D8 ^and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# r8 r% ~  \) P4 Z- N0 B) TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 @3 \) H) o" z( k/ x0 y, j7 ean embarrassment the next.
/ r5 J) W6 Q. R! k; B( }0 i) AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ A) G0 I) D: kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 F0 G/ n! R9 ~2 ~' B- d8 }! bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
7 v( O& Q* P0 k, N+ _& W9 \6 t7 ~On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 G; L5 {2 N: R1 d5 oWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. Z$ `" \1 _/ l9 w4 k% eGet this! You pay them!
- n0 O; _- F! e, k9 S$ p& |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! y% ^4 H8 E; A1 X( ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- K) i  G7 q* D3 `% Bof the assumption that college will help them
& N1 o0 x- h* ?* q8 hbecome financially independent.
# `( {5 `, Z4 Y( D$ ^3 o; AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 G/ ~; z: }( L- EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
, L8 p6 y+ _7 S" i9 jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" \0 D) y! C2 D/ Z4 \3 [no stock options are offered,
* V7 s% T8 m- J' |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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7 A( m9 F  x- z# e. r1 ?/ v: i( Qfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 ~; M7 H% |5 _% J0 t" cletting them know they are appreciated
, }: m5 D7 H" zfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.