Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

0 Q7 w$ ^4 l! _( L. m0 O
4 |3 O. E1 U: M. D, J  tJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' l, u8 s* L" y. x. v+ Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 t9 E6 w# Y! l8 V/ v0 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 n% ^7 s4 O) jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( C# m: z# Y  _: R! c- y/ e4 c* M* Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* l6 @% J0 u5 \1 W7 ^8 GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
$ `7 u5 S! a; u3 c' R
2 ]7 r" w( O% u' `, ?# M3 a2 a" q  tRESPONSIBILITIES:
! I% w5 b3 L7 F# P, YThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; i1 A# A" E- f; q2 S4 z% C8 MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! ?7 z( B/ E8 u7 }3 Kin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. Y+ p8 `* w8 C( q+ a1 I8 iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% g4 q" }  q- c% e, Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ D! [4 s6 ]* c1 @. \and stuck zippers.
+ {( ^4 R; X3 @0 _! CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' C+ z* m  z. v! \" ^/ d/ b" A+ Z+ Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 [$ W3 v! i; X  V- Q  qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 m0 z0 a4 u: S9 [' \. g2 nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 u4 g. Z$ O3 r0 k5 ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# D0 {5 d7 C" t# z7 }1 P. PMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- E+ h  c- C! d8 [: s: Y9 @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
6 ]7 I) B! c: C
% i6 L  ~# p, z( C  xPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& q% [0 k7 W. [3 ]None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 G9 u2 K8 P# U3 }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; D. a% P$ z  p( d: p2 }can ultimately surpass you.
8 y, f" H5 F- i3 `* I- g
8 T( S9 h. `$ k; T. U
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 D3 a) I  w0 h1 C+ {8 d. RNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

, i- }: F2 B) w9 J1 ~$ v! o8 A7 F5 j( e' D. IWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' W+ q2 W- W! D4 I, A7 t( hGet this! You pay them!
0 X! @# s  g4 X& Y: J: IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
% w, M( L0 P' qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 |5 D& G9 X& i+ @! G/ l6 Uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' Q( F6 F% J7 _' I3 yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 P& a# @/ Q5 n  \0 Z9 x$ O- GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! @0 Z+ e) |- [; L8 myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" }. C8 U6 ]" R& y0 O# A+ d
BENEFITS:
( \8 [/ u: r- p' u" HWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 y: m- ^0 V  p0 P$ L. Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 G, U) X7 g) g1 r4 Ano stock options are offered,
* I2 _( Q7 c+ fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

5 y( {& x0 d9 }/ k" H" }unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* R/ p, Z( z: N2 u
for life if you play your cards right.



6 @4 }+ C! J; N* P( W1 B
, t" q, f1 ^4 K9 k$ x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
# y- T; {+ s$ g; m
. _/ o3 d% k, x& X) C) _

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 l! _' o* _  e8 U7 c3 C+ \' p" dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  L9 d% {" i' X( a# L: B( qor forward with love
/ F! h% V) H& \; L. O% p, Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
  S; R, y! ]" T# c7 e. ^
/ y1 n6 h+ x  R) }' g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.