Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  R+ w$ r# R& X; \) J* [& m  nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, l- }4 |* P2 \Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* E% G1 M/ `& E/ ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 ?4 H9 v3 h( E9 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 B! |* R, t! t6 X- Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) _# F7 A  z+ Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; x/ Z2 I7 A9 @% B3 J& Z- J9 {Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( u3 q! s. v2 g& p& ~6 I( PExtensive courier duties also required.
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" q- T  ~, [5 u2 T7 _* C; J' S+ G/ pRESPONSIBILITIES:
  }7 I& b  |' F1 G% {The rest of your life.
$ o# k! j, P! i6 G$ w% q! }  CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 E! c1 e$ @* h% K5 y) y5 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' j8 C9 ]5 j1 q, L7 C& ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 q% q# D7 [9 `) t4 N8 e6 }! _& tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; s2 d3 }  P% F8 V+ y' jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  L$ t9 o3 H; @& g+ p; v/ l! z! k* g) bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( H, W6 t. Y: k# @- D1 sMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: s2 R$ q9 O; |: `# {: x; i2 H; u, ^- Qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- u- z" e. z; V9 a4 v1 n3 }. CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& Y' l1 z" M0 _- k7 Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- z2 g+ }! e: K1 Z; z: F6 w, mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 |. o1 i5 z4 S% p' MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 O  P  v* l- X+ u+ XNone required, unfortunately.
9 ]+ D" Z# ^  q1 _6 `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 K# q" z! s2 t$ ^3 t+ Z) _WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' e# H: ?9 |8 B+ w8 R: H5 l, _Get this! You pay them!
( S5 {8 o! _1 l3 H* _+ LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
% `' C8 _9 B! g( k& J2 ~4 c  Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 Z6 m# ^( _& \1 d2 S: j& oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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& }6 L% \$ P* v+ X, Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. n1 T% I0 h8 B% C1 d6 ufor life if you play your cards right.
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, Y  }5 K7 R% x1 M2 R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: w3 H/ r1 x+ ~% w' `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.