Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- L8 |" b( a8 i' s# L& F) q6 NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 q8 O& M. A0 ^" ^# ]+ ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  N8 ^2 Q/ N2 g% PCandidates must possess excellent communication
7 @6 J: N! g- I- k' r4 i* Mand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 c/ `% k3 L8 h1 H  W% s# gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ ^5 Q  S8 c! vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; B5 ^) p% H; H3 gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
* c: `" f9 d9 p  A7 U) I; \$ S! q& T3 LThe rest of your life.
( J( ]4 ]; k  x6 s0 D2 U! c! g, OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" n/ F7 x. ~$ C$ g( Yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 f! w! A" M! W' c/ }4 m) H( bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
$ {4 R+ L7 n. N! pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 i% s3 s( L1 V% K9 W& `: {& K* c+ uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& |2 b) t' q% iand stuck zippers.
2 V# E5 u, b$ s# b8 p& NMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ G0 O4 R# a( E, D' [! EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 k3 D1 D1 K! u2 YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( _1 n- B: z5 t4 X( mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 ~% d, y  C5 b# m- bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) d0 t( Q: M  m1 a2 TNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 i1 I; R# X1 N/ l# D; l8 y6 cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ i- F- d# k9 k9 scan ultimately surpass you.


- g  {8 h- y; D( uPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 b$ a% y; C" o1 @None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 n0 \$ \% X# B  g/ I1 uGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: T( h# |1 s$ Ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* s4 F& |/ W$ ~0 N. oof the assumption that college will help them
5 V) j: ?) J7 j. Qbecome financially independent.
% t; ^0 J6 \: A; {) i6 a) j0 GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 t. @) E" h" V/ DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: l) k3 S9 ]+ p& s" t2 F8 Q' oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 ?% a8 J+ f& t/ Q5 B! M
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# U6 _0 o. `- S  F$ D8 L. Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; f1 D: g1 J3 @. ?1 Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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/ c- ~" q, N7 D- t. o; ]1 ofor life if you play your cards right.
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# A2 n9 |$ v% g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; s; Y9 [2 b6 r# }letting them know they are appreciated
: [; i: ^" O9 nfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
& M! D& I) w- G! T) a. Kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.