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POSITION:' A4 v- T. a Y8 }# w& o
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma & l6 x8 f& x$ s4 m0 x9 E" _) K- X
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:- F5 Y* g: o6 M5 x# V
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# A. [; p+ j/ g* J6 t+ o7 w
4 Y9 C4 \1 Z% z9 p1 w1 ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! g( \" g* A, {& E& t4 _1 C( F2 xCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 A2 M8 j( H" w* ?2 Hand organizational skills and be willing to work ) Q2 B0 i3 ]6 o- s
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 ^+ N N* l8 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! a+ R' J: b" F9 |& ?! bSome overnight travel required, including trips to / ]1 q" ]) O+ o3 }1 R9 C: U9 ?( q
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 8 S# W V$ w3 @; I7 C" j |
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 e5 X. X# t. w; |Travel expenses not reimbursed. 7 \4 \+ g6 R4 ~5 A
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ y( f5 S4 y% J/ z. R) XRESPONSIBILITIES:4 i+ O3 c# R: m0 j
The rest of your life.
! L, A) u( X6 N0 J5 CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' n7 L; W+ H9 s3 e) g9 R
until someone needs $5. ; _) O2 v9 J; E
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! L" f1 _) t8 G. k4 AAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! I/ B% _& s) h9 c8 P1 u0 xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& c$ f4 x# D; a/ D2 h- T' Oin case, this time, the screams from * w6 w. x) B4 P$ i1 B
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 4 m, c0 I3 S0 g6 Q1 F
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ C7 H" J, Q1 |1 P7 L! xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! r t) P- G8 p6 V0 t9 pand stuck zippers.
9 k1 q; e7 N+ n; s# b1 \; R1 | NMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and * R) v* g! W6 s- f/ i
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 K n. O7 F: x4 e* r, S& KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ R$ G! v& V/ }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( F* |5 ~1 j5 Y: u) \' |& H
an embarrassment the next. 4 p9 @; A) J3 Z: F6 p
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a ( o# } H( {6 S9 Y
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. , o2 N4 b$ O( s7 F' P) `4 y2 r
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( _5 d& n5 i5 PMust assume final, complete accountability for 4 c1 P7 {# s5 x2 ~7 R% W4 c
the quality of the end product.
( K( n3 L" g# ~8 uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 \$ `# y8 k2 J& G! C |2 Vjanitorial work throughout the facility. 6 N6 }0 {+ q% i; J- t
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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" F# N6 z. b# d. E. x3 hYour job is to remain in the same position for years, $ W* i' S" N) I, C- L
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' M6 R7 m! w# v5 q* T U7 X; H) aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge z8 p1 S; w* w) } h
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 1 D' R8 B' G9 Z0 @
None required, unfortunately.
4 ^! D3 K3 i" [8 l7 I% DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 2 n5 y% K( T& Y! @0 w# |
Get this! You pay them! % L( C. K( @! d2 N$ Z5 d
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. % {5 b# y2 F- @: g6 r7 m; o7 Y- R
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because % u+ ^* B" v/ @( d* b
of the assumption that college will help them
' r; E0 T( y7 U! N& Q6 `, \2 Gbecome financially independent. # i) O/ I& ~7 V0 }) D
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; m0 [" {' t/ P* J5 \. b" nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 5 x5 K* d/ ?3 ]5 W7 ^2 ~
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. $ a; W, y/ {& _5 `
}3 }, _$ J+ C% gBENEFITS: 1 I0 {( Z% v3 h: e1 H9 L, v/ h
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, Y5 G! Y- t# O J9 X2 Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 5 R; F. F* q+ p& h2 V
no stock options are offered,
* I3 _% a1 Q4 T' C% r+ d, Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 B8 j8 W% @+ C" B/ h% d5 h% V
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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H6 Z" x& I8 D+ w9 O** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **! {5 p: d; Q' ?' \$ i) m( V
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 U3 ] J& S' `* {
letting them know they are appreciated : N$ k' s& i1 r$ H# m0 e8 l' v) b
for the fabulous job they do...
: A7 R# G9 t" y8 I4 Ror forward with love
/ b9 d' \8 n+ p, D' m. @& Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
