Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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4 G8 F1 G  Z" UWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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, A5 m% \, P: g+ a$ ZYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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+ j* g% S; u7 L1 `. oIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

% D& y5 l- K$ i8 mIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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4 J8 v2 Y6 O5 WThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

' U* p* ~  i* {+ ^* C1 bThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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, D3 f$ h1 R; ~Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

* I! ~8 a, G/ H7 |! mDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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; t" W2 r- p# h0 LIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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+ X+ b3 j% b8 ^! O6 q5 }If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

4 p1 g3 I  W' yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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2 U3 P2 f8 V- d% I* DHave noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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7 _9 _. u- `' e. ?/ [. FYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
4 X: J5 h. e6 L6 C6 x; LHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane