Crazy English! Zt

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ZT


Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

- F+ _5 L* k" @/ {, K( t5 Z- FOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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# v* v# R* |# v3 cIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

$ ]4 b4 @& ~7 R6 u/ HIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

2 Y4 S# @  N* _Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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1 G1 H7 `4 g& x! CThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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5 f4 u4 p" L9 K( lAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

5 v4 t( l- h9 RDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

% W( s) m# X; R3 @7 r5 UIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

' q/ I$ R  G, @" {# O7 MIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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1 K+ V5 U9 K' Z% ]0 r1 yShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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4 b. D+ z9 A3 i2 B4 MYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
6 i" @$ J: a; B5 WHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane