Crazy English! Zt

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3 D7 i" W4 U$ `$ JCrazy English!
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7 t) D! k! |  r( DWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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7 M% q7 y3 N* e6 J2 oIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

6 ]) A" G) `7 Z+ ~: c5 a+ {3 ]& {Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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$ Q( n( A9 g; i) H* |* mThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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. I$ l3 D6 \. JLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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; O, N  m8 a3 wThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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# R8 j( Y9 A: M  `; oIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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' w* r* g1 N; pHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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9 I: p5 n3 ?" W: r& Z, WYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane