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# L7 o/ b3 p* B6 {CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer. 8 d# S0 A8 h8 _5 o# I
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. 5 b7 d6 I2 q2 i/ b
2 Y0 Q n* G6 _* c' qBULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
; E- z H2 d1 D* l# @BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
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1 s4 Z- `2 e+ G9 J+ v* BVALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. 8 k! c. z: z1 y
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P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. , y7 j! z9 h' h" F6 ?
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BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
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$ c6 i' M7 A; ]* T3 WSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. 9 }1 G- f: T n+ j
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STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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" B( q$ D* W1 Z3 ~( s, xSTOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
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& F' h" m# I) X% b! I. YFINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
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MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
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CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
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YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. 2 x: _; K3 a% o% [4 j& l) z
: B# h1 n5 g! `% J6 @WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share., g* m5 @& r) ~, ?7 m& [( C
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. 5 L: F3 @: u Y, P
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PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.& P! A, V, U# B' r
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If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.7 e/ e, }+ j% R9 B
With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.8 ~* R9 U9 T) ]8 I& l1 W" m+ x
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.; a) `5 j0 P& ]
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. / J& i, G6 F3 U' u* q& t
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon?
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+ b9 e' K: h4 _" M+ p! A A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common... , O, E" H2 Y" D: }# O3 \( F3 W' \& d
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...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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