English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
3 Z  B% D( m7 ^7 {* fEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
/ s8 {# H2 U4 R  zNo ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
# U7 \$ y' B6 x, R+ E6 Z
8 H  y+ ]7 y" P4 uWe sometimes take English for granted
4 d0 f! Y! B1 B# kBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
( W  K; h; v7 \6 D) }5 NQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
7 H2 H& V2 c. d  n* W+ E
5 P3 r) _0 @3 j; G0 hIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
/ ~" Y- o  w" QIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
7 o1 V3 d8 ?3 E9 q! R9 c6 B% N9 S
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
1 q3 z2 q4 Z) H  w( ~4 ~0 o$ mWhy do people recite at a play
" [- w0 s9 K/ ^! h3 }/ ]' E5 t, hYet play at a recital?
; y4 N. J* Y' zPark on driveways and
Drive on parkways

3 d- y  }; s% ^2 B- Y" ~  D. v8 P" HYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
: n; _7 v! K" V/ Y3 l: `% Y& U' LOf a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
  T$ M1 e4 `: I+ GBy filling it out
; u2 B4 Q% E; Z* k% t+ B' ^And a bell is only heard once it goes!
" P6 w  I; _6 q. M
English was invented by people, not computers
! }( h& r( e& c6 ^And it reflects the creativity of the human race
6 ~9 M1 }' u( }$ u(Which of course isn't a race at all)
+ v1 A8 U3 e5 w( \$ M7 D
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
7 u5 `+ T9 Q; K1 l0 T- c* D+ gBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
$ a$ o7 z; O: O1 X3 F) r, |5 j2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
' \/ Q. S; j5 J0 F4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
# t) h& d) f' h4 b7 ^其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
, g4 ~0 u- s; n0 m我看了几行,就看不下去了.
! E2 r4 }, X5 L; O) n% I1 w5 I" \1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

& e2 T) ~! B, q! E2 U
谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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