Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:

# ]! s. M# e8 o. z0 @) j1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

# S& w( L+ N" p, F7 W5 U2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

2 G" E" r9 m+ N! N: L, S3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6 K! A* ?+ m; m1 u9 i# D6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

2 W. R' L: \' h* P( y7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!
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9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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2 ^5 e4 S" J# x8 B' @10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

* g3 f4 T  x3 G  U+ Q5 m12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"