Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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+ }2 R" ^, H+ ]) N' q' Z> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
% @8 Z; @+ I4 \+ a* ~> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
) P$ x9 U  W9 T> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
/ P7 L$ u8 h6 L> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
8 Y' U1 w3 T! z1 O# z: F6 ]: @; y2 M> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
0 }5 z+ j! c9 b. d> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
! E0 ^+ F1 A8 H" P9 |* j> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
* C+ q2 D& E+ E$ d> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
' g1 d8 ]. K  ]' }. U> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
; M) e6 F0 y$ E( e3 z+ E> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
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> > > >
4 x$ g  ?4 G+ s1 P, X> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
( _7 _  q4 S% i* [  Q$ q6 u> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
8 Y8 X6 c) j+ d  ]7 B> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
4 k- D) s1 J* w. B' c4 a! Z$ N: c, l> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
! `- U1 _" F( U- c6 G- q> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
  u% Y5 U5 _5 `> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
  g1 |4 f- V/ n: h8 t> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
" c& r" I/ W% c* i  k> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
# _8 a: u* ?( b" R> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
* z$ w- }- Z: H8 v> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
+ n8 d( F" m3 O> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
' a# U, I5 x' j2 B4 E2 P> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
) w$ V9 A( V# J& ^> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
6 q; [) E- d2 g& B$ D2 ~% }> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
- b/ O& A) M, E( C% P9 t- N  i> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
! F+ G. G% V7 f. o- m3 ]! m, V* r> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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6 W" l0 w8 K0 w  G, |) m1 L2 a" C> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
3 P" g0 w4 j) o" E" `> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
/ X: f1 r7 h6 u+ u> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
$ T% _1 N$ M+ l3 M7 U# x$ X' _6 n> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business