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| HOW  TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN  : ( w7 ^9 ^  i" O# Q
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 : e, V) J8 p- |- Y9 zTake off  clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to  lights and darks.! z- b2 r9 s2 W  |$ ?
 
 % s9 H7 h, }4 F) D: l% f. [3 nWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing  gown.
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 $ e! f9 B* [( i1 [& P4 ZIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed  areas.4 t/ W/ Z1 p! k7 z
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 Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
 2 A" f# z5 V' i  r( U3 J# ~make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' l/ w4 f% n) L% Y- R
 
 9 X; t* B: f; r& \: H& XGet  in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,  wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 ]4 ]% e$ ?% Y" z6 H
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 Wash your hair once with  cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( \: m) [" b' }  L6 G- z# M- D2 M# R
 
 ( _* g: E+ |# W9 c! T, I* ]) SWash your  hair again to make sure it's clean.
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 Condition your hair with  grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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 Wash your face with  crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ; U8 m2 E, q! M( _; x
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 Wash  entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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 # J* w0 W* ^- B3 ^# \: kRinse conditioner off hair.  b6 q6 _+ J6 T9 f' f  J, P6 o' A# y
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 Shave armpits and  legs.
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 ' H; Q, F% |8 f) Z4 ATurn off shower.$ F5 i+ {+ F' e
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 Squeegee off all wet surfaces  in shower.
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 Spray mold spots with Tilex. : j$ P6 C/ q9 W& c) ^
 
 & j6 @; Z+ p1 @7 h  L" b7 vGet out  of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small  country.
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 % X5 R! G; v5 ~- ]Wrap  hair in super absorbent towel.  - f, q9 ~3 z: e8 S
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 Return  to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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 If you  see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.  0 o1 u. C/ P% l! c) A
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 HOW TO  SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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 Take off  clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a  pile.  . ~5 Q3 g* \2 m" c* ?
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 Walk  naked to the bathroom.
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 If you  see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo  sound.  2 o$ k/ j6 j  R- K
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 Look at  your manly physique in the mirror. 4 B; A  L2 h) b! c$ Q
 
 # b3 p( a  ]9 I, o- J; E4 RAdmire  the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.  : Y8 n9 V) ]$ m) w1 U
 
 & h2 U+ E* d" e/ s/ tGet in  the shower.  Wash  your face.Wash your armpits.  : Y1 p, v! b3 h, B: g' Z) J
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 Blow  your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.  2 u8 x3 ?6 z* p
 
 4 @5 o  M! m# I2 ?7 nFart and  laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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 % h  \0 y8 |9 p# oSpend  majority of time washing privates and surrounding  area.  : k& y! \7 Q2 \# ~: e9 E6 _- Y
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 Wash  your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the  soap.
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 Wash  your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.  ' Y9 q, F$ E, W* S: {) n5 F$ n
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 Pee.  & u8 _+ a' F) z, U" l: y& a. J
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 Rinse  off and get out of shower. & W0 e( i. i6 b+ L1 ]
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 Partially  dry off.
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 Fail to  notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the  whole time. ) e6 }' E  X9 \+ B8 O& P4 v* j0 \+ J
 
 * }  i; K. @2 W, lAdmire  wiener size in mirror again.
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 Leave  shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan  on.  0 |3 |2 {" d( v. c5 o
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 Return  to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off  towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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 2 k2 Z. ?9 A  r1 G! DThrow  wet towel on bed.
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 3 G. e* c. k( ^, UIf there  is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,  there is something SO very wrong with you.
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