 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . r8 Z! h2 }2 E8 R3 ^/ N0 ~
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( r5 ]4 U5 d9 ~$ d! s! }
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 I2 b. x3 m4 z$ f* S |4 j: l
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.( j, V: o" j" O
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , [7 ~. T8 X/ w b, ]/ d" `
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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3 J- q5 U4 B$ _7 cGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. % _( [6 Q7 t, `
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 F! x# B9 v( z0 V
7 l& q, C2 J' x, V- F9 A0 T' fWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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4 [8 i$ R5 w2 h/ x o/ AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( ~" C: H4 g# q
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % ^/ |( M" P3 H2 W6 ]) L3 m' c' W
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Rinse conditioner off hair., k; H7 a" f& Z3 [* B8 `, x& c
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Shave armpits and legs.% H* D" @( P: ]' K
; C ]* ^9 I8 GTurn off shower.
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% M; P3 ~3 m' b4 X6 u a" d/ ySqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 B' H% L. Z+ q
; A0 f) j: ^; E8 e# x5 X, M8 dSpray mold spots with Tilex. & ?$ G( a8 ?- p/ [& F
9 B7 ~8 o, V9 x6 u( t0 U' R5 Z" X2 NGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ d8 s3 L. r7 k* M0 j# S
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 W, l* {) d& S: ]1 H: D, z kIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * G! O/ k& l c- V7 b. d9 Y
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 j2 P! v. {, T- S0 `
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Walk naked to the bathroom.. X! u @* X0 e6 h
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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' [5 Z& v2 `3 ?" J1 E l7 ]Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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) F6 Q3 b4 I. j; o. HAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 r. U- m& ?9 G% F3 W: m, b
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 X0 S9 f/ H1 E+ Y; p
9 G$ H3 Y' ~2 n0 R# o G, uFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 2 P( a1 g8 u& h" Z
, C0 y; M8 [" k* s, ]! {Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ! H) }1 f) q+ |/ t0 y+ e( _4 K% `( I
+ n. k `" N7 H7 {: a( h# jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * `: c3 ^- `0 ^
0 K8 @# T4 c# ^6 BWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 0 n J) O; h# \) \0 ^$ O
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Pee. ; T" J/ b( h$ Z( [& V6 q
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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9 `: f# G1 X, U8 j6 s$ f q9 ~ N8 @Partially dry off.
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. G2 I0 ~$ d7 V7 h* TFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ y% B2 Z7 A' k
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , ?' ^0 C1 v& y7 A- x5 d1 y
# ?: [, C' v2 y R+ nReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ' ?* Q S6 X# z p+ K. a
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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+ C( q. D$ ?" i# u% \If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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