 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( x5 O( s4 Z8 X7 W6 r# T7 W8 s$ H$ z
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$ R0 Q0 u: k3 V) Q2 zTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3 B% c) H# y7 `" W
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. a- n) f3 n F4 b3 A K
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 s+ o* G8 h0 n* ^( d: K8 F
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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3 K9 V: e Q0 l! H5 G9 NWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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% [, ?8 R: b& `% _" R1 h9 HRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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\* E4 e; g. \. VTurn off shower.( b8 j. L0 [- {+ a
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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+ G, F$ R3 V: [Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 \- e3 o& n) C6 P4 r
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / m# x j8 p; |9 _
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. w# A2 I4 C1 L
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 z0 G1 S! L) G. h5 B0 F
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , L6 ~& _. r3 B; f0 ]" C
* g+ O: m, R5 RWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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( V/ \) t) J5 q5 z* `! L" cLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 p4 q6 c- a& o3 g, p
" \7 H* I6 M6 H) r) UAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . a3 ?& ^4 d. h! |8 g/ [; a. Z
' e3 p) X, t" LGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . O8 _4 g! V$ ?0 ^9 w
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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. n+ p- A) ?4 ?7 _9 oSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 ^: F+ n1 F+ C3 A; s0 Q5 M4 N
) u N- H0 o2 Y) X/ B# g+ \Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ l+ L9 c/ u6 L9 D' @$ M. e. t A6 c
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) V. q+ v' V# U- l' z/ d
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Pee.
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9 v4 b$ K4 r q1 L7 f4 R4 F1 SRinse off and get out of shower.
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# V% y% u" |. k% ~$ UPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) v0 e3 p1 [& o
& B8 T7 H5 j0 g$ Z: bLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; c# w$ X$ w/ A; x. Y0 B
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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( \9 o' V* O4 h0 `( d% aThrow wet towel on bed. % l3 O" ^: S2 y& N, N
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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