 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
8 d5 m3 b# C6 n6 _& y: O( X5 O* u) I' J
/ i! h# Q* H6 W1 C& j5 I--------------------------------------------------------------------------------0 b) `" ?6 L/ ?# I
8 a. v6 Z2 ^9 N; B8 d4 q( n) R4 @, t( J
) p6 o* Y! I- o5 TTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
+ D+ x" @1 G6 M3 W* q& y8 c
' h/ L$ o7 x l5 F! t- y& ^: PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 0 b j; S! z) v7 f$ T- ` d
% ~' Z) S( F) w# o* N
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 Q3 S# L: _! @* c) i S
* C$ J4 |- W! r [2 U$ o" B' F: V
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # E: z" A* ]* s% Z# o7 c' h
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 [$ _: ` u8 U+ |! F
' U/ Z; A3 m3 b$ P6 H& y
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
1 V3 p0 M& w( e( U' t L
% L( l0 f. T6 v1 y6 u- y' c- e, ?Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 q- Q$ A d6 c3 M% t( u9 M4 k
* Z9 |& k8 z f, ?; q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 {( |8 L5 @0 P# i
( I5 n$ P" z$ t9 }' r/ _% i! ECondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
2 }$ A9 {" Y9 {" V
; C. ], d* i. x- Q" WWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
' n4 }2 }# e: m
7 o4 u. B0 c+ H+ \1 d; \- S; XWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
! P+ }9 ?" L3 O( o1 B
4 z6 c3 g7 C fRinse conditioner off hair.6 V3 k, x$ z7 @: x6 O
: ?) ~3 _4 G7 X: M$ @- ^; @( a( b! K! ?Shave armpits and legs.
& q/ ~ v/ |' j! z& K) `8 R
1 w5 f: `8 {' M/ }# s% [* `Turn off shower.
& ]+ Z }$ b: i& l2 l$ R3 A) [# e- A; q
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
% N0 ? Q3 Q' M( Q4 s U, E
" e# B3 n$ v; VSpray mold spots with Tilex. ' a# C, W, e1 ~3 w
( J, h% o8 O! K/ pGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; s; G; X; u& F
& D0 K5 q( `* \! n% JWrap hair in super absorbent towel. % W6 J) [" A8 w4 G" S
$ P w0 r8 I6 G! G8 q. ^; l6 n
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! H {" l7 @) S& U7 g( r% q, @# `' n9 R
# d0 ~3 H6 I4 S
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : J6 f1 Q$ k7 e5 N8 m8 O% T7 G
* J& ?) m7 j3 q2 \' _. J$ v' q" k+ S8 M7 i8 M& }. D
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
/ C" S. R; D; V3 J! V! A) R7 E
& H5 G) t/ }/ {7 }8 iTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
# c8 e) H! H$ z) [8 t% D$ e- t- K7 w3 ^5 @
Walk naked to the bathroom.: X' C! V: k3 H8 O
8 t% K( u# f, t$ |If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
! @- {3 K# F1 T
) y# r" W7 `$ r$ F1 |# }# O( hLook at your manly physique in the mirror. # H( A- j* ~& j% a4 U
% U" o) b) H, `+ K) x f
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ! ]7 Q2 H- V3 U R- ^3 @" ?- m
; l6 l5 s* T2 M; T9 w; KGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / X0 i5 R( [- V5 S
( E! q i# I& S/ E* z0 F/ ^2 d) |Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. , z! i% \9 A2 b5 Y& i, e
; x, a. T6 F+ F3 u
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * t, J8 Y9 h! Q2 C6 s
) t+ }* V0 g# c1 s: s- S7 i7 U
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
+ {/ a* t2 ]1 r0 n& A' E& }! T! K" n$ d& H5 p
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
. M0 N! |. q1 v) R: Y7 P$ f i. m& r
5 O: k% B8 s! e7 v( DWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
4 H1 b9 ~( K: O, Z9 q3 s! D& Q+ T B- M) x2 Q9 _# b
Pee. ( H5 ~' |8 t3 K2 l4 U( e* w
1 ^5 a$ q/ W% c) [3 h( E# yRinse off and get out of shower. 8 a4 f3 l9 _# ]" F" Q+ I9 M3 {6 h
0 R9 | t- B* TPartially dry off.7 I$ q3 }) q8 v1 k
& L0 S. @& x1 J: Z# E; kFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # x, t0 D3 u# Y$ B$ L2 m* ~
1 L! ?. N1 g: d ]1 A; ?- y
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
7 `$ u% P# `0 a
/ ?! t/ J. j7 }+ Z; a HLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 _& E# @5 n6 c$ b
, X$ ~$ o* P7 _! C0 C
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ( f2 c ]5 C2 Z( g w& p7 m, `+ i
~. m4 k3 E" d' q" K" o2 `Throw wet towel on bed.
+ y" |- C3 g h9 M" m# Q5 b( A# J5 n5 j1 x, l: q4 x
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|